Mirror Image
by PsychedelicCowgirl
Summary: Bart should know by now that doing a favor for Dandy Jim Buckley is bound to give him more than he bargained for.
1. Prologue

Prologue

I read the letter again. How many times had I done that since its arrival a week ago? Too many to count I was sure, and every reading was done with the vain hope that the information inside would change. This time was no different than the others, however. Nothing had changed and even after the countless readings the words still sent a jolt through me. Reading about the death of an acquaintance is never pleasant. Reading about the death of someone who was more than an acquaintance . . . well, nothing could be done about that now. As to the other matter . . . .

Sighing I tucked the letter from Everett Winters Esquire away once more and began to pace the floor. The solicitor was attempting to handle Miss Freemont's estate, and decisions needed to be made. Rarely did I find myself in a place of indecision but I was firmly fixed in one now. I could see only two paths before me, and I couldn't bring myself to walk down either one of them. I had been placed in a position of dire straits and I could see no feasible way out. For me to admit that predicament was almost laughable. How many times had I gotten myself into seemingly impossible situations and found a way to con my way out? It was very nearly my life's work.

Loath as I was to admit it, I needed help. But who could I call on? Oh, I have many acquaintances; there is no shortage of young ladies I can call on to provide company for any amount of time. I also know plenty of men who are more than willing to participate in a good swindle; a few I might even call in if I needed to divert attention away from myself. But for something of this nature, I needed someone I could trust. My family, of course, simply wasn't an option, and those I would call friends are not something I possess in abundance. To be frank, there is only one.

Bart Maverick is as trustworthy as a man can get. He's a bit too honest and forthright at times, but he is trustworthy. If there was anyone I could trust to help it would be Bart. At least, that was true at one time, I was no longer certain I could count on him as I once had.

Our last meeting hadn't ended well, and I'm now willing to admit the fault lies entirely with me. To be blunt, I treated him atrociously. I broke his confidence and doubtless made him think our friendship meant nothing to me. That was never my intent, but in hindsight, I understand why he felt that way.

It had been a particularly unfortunate time for me. A time when I'd found it necessary to seek out employment like a commoner. Bart being the friend he is had helped me obtain employment at the saloon owned by the woman who was about to become his mother-in-law. The job was almost enjoyable at times and the wage livable . . . after a fashion. I had merely thought that the sooner I could rebuild my funds, the sooner I could be on my way and therefore out of Bart's hair. The method I choose to employ in obtaining house funds was to skim a bit off the top of what the house took in every night. I freely admit that wasn't the wisest decision I've ever made, but it had made sense at the time and I had no intention of Bart or anyone else ever finding out about it. Unfortunately, Bart had found out.

That had been over two years ago, and I hadn't seen or corresponded with him since the day he'd discovered the discrepancy in the books. It was on that day he'd politely thrown me out of town, and his last words to me had been, "don't come back." To be frank, the encounter had stung more than I ever imagined it would, and I still wondered how much he had meant those words. Time heals all wounds, they say, and I've often wondered if that particular wound of Bart's has healed any. Did he have any interest in seeing me again or had I truly lost my only friend that day?

I couldn't answer my questions but one thing I did know was that I desperately needed help and there was only one person who might be willing to give it to me. Whether he would or wouldn't was something I wouldn't know unless I asked him. And therein lay my problem. I've sort of avoided Bart these past two years because if he was really through with me, if there was no hope of Bart ever forgiving me, I really didn't want to know. Winters and his letter, however, was now forcing my hand.

Blowing out a breath, I made my decision. Going over to the small desk in the corner of my hotel room, I took up a pen and started a reply to Mister Winters' letter. The wound I dealt Bart had to have healed. If it hadn't I would without question be in a situation there was no getting out of, a situation that would likely force me into doing something I truly didn't want to do. I quickly finished the letter that had the potential to alter the rest of my life and prepared it for its trip to Biloxi, Mississippi. Once that was done I began to pack my things so I could journey to Bart's hometown of Little Bend, Texas and find out just how serious he'd been about me not coming back. And all the while, I pleaded with any higher power willing to listen to me that Bart Maverick was as good a man as I had always believed him to be.


	2. A Small Favor (Bart)

**A Small Favor**

I was sure if I didn't respond to the knocking on my door, the intruder would go away. They didn't, and in a minute the knock was accompanied by a voice. "Mr. Maverick?"

I pushed myself off the sofa in my office with a groan. Anyone else might have left me alone, but that was Adam, the new daytime bartender. He was good at what he did, but he was young and conscientious, too conscientious at times. He still seemed unsure as to where he fit in here at the saloon and often times went over and above to make sure he was doing things the right way. I was hoping a couple of months would loosen him up a little.

"Comin'," I called as I stretched out the muscles in my back with a wince. My office wasn't the best place to sleep, but these days, I took sleep when and where I could get it. This time of day things were usually quiet enough for me to sneak in an hour or two. If I'd learned anything over the last month, it was what a precious commodity sleep actually was, and it wasn't to be taken for granted.

I opened the door and sure enough, found Adam in the hallway. "I'm sorry, Mr. Maverick, I know you didn't want to be disturbed but there's a man out front that wants to see you. He's bein' pretty insistent too."

"That's alright, Adam, and it's just Bart. Remember?"

"Yes, sir."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. The boy had been here over a month and I had yet to break him from the sir and mister habit. He was younger than me, but not young enough for that. Instead of correcting him again, though, I moved to more pressing matters. "Who is it?"

"Said his name was Buckley. I told him you . . . ."  
"Buckley? Jim Buckley?"

Adam nodded. "Yes, sir."

I was completely awake now. "Tell him I'll be out in a minute."

"Yes, sir."

"And, Adam, give him a drink, on the house."

"Yes, sir," Adam replied before heading back to the bar.

I closed the door and started trying to put myself back together; buttoning my vest, retying my tie, smoothing out my hair. What was James Buckley, otherwise known as Dandy Jim Buckley, doing here? Jim's an old friend, but I hadn't seen or heard from him in . . . it had to be close to two-and-half years. He's a dandy and he usually spends his time in bigger places than Little Bend, Texas, and last time he was here . . . well, it didn't end well. As a matter of fact, the last time I'd seen Jim I'd told him he wasn't welcome here anymore.

Before I get too involved, maybe I should tell you who I am. The name's Maverick. Bartley Maverick to be precise, but please, it's just Bart. There are other Mavericks too, my pappy, Beauregard, and my brother Bret for starters, but there's also my uncle Ben and my cousin Beau. Poker is the family business. In their younger days, Pappy and Uncle Ben were two of the best, and when they finally put down roots and started their families, they passed on their knowledge of that noble game to me and Bret and Beau. For a lot of years, the three us did exactly what Pappy and Ben had done when they were young, travel and play poker, honest poker that is. Yes, it possible, and that's the only way a Maverick will play the game. Most folks call us gamblers, but that's not really true. Poker is a science, and when played right, there's no need to gamble.

I guess we're all starting to get a little old though because in the past few years we've all been traveling less. Pappy and Ben don't go much of anywhere anymore, and me and Beau have both decided to, more or less, put down some roots. Beau married a few years back and settled in Baton Rouge, and a couple of years ago, I married too. I decided to stay in our hometown of Little Bend, however. Now my wife, Doralice, and I run the biggest and best saloon in Little Bend. Bret is still unmarried and still roving around some but I keep thinking that will change one day in the near future. He's got him a good woman, but neither one of them are ready to say "I do" just yet.

I understand Bret's reluctance. I felt the same thing for a long time, but I have to say, living with Mrs. Maverick in Little Bend – the town I wanted nothing more than to get out of when I was growing up – has made me happier than any of the traveling I used to do. Life got even better a few short weeks ago when Doralice gave birth to our first two children. Yep, I said children. I don't know who was more surprised by the twins, me or her, but Maude and Isabelle have completely stolen our hearts . . . and our nights of decent sleep.

My girls are beautiful, perfect little angels. They are my absolute pride and joy. They are also the reason I have to sneak naps in at the saloon. Everyone who has done this ahead of me keeps assuring me it'll get better one day, and sleepless nights don't seem to have stopped anyone from having children, but I can't say I'm not looking forward to that day they both decide to sleep all night. My girls weren't my main concern right now, however. Buckley claimed that title.

Grabbing my jacket off the back of my chair, I slipped it on and stepped out into the barroom, hoping to find out exactly what was going on and why Jim had suddenly turned up in my hometown insisting he see me.

There weren't a lot of people in the saloon this time of day, but even if the place had been full, I would have had no trouble spotting Jim. He comes by the nickname Dandy honestly, and he was certainly living up to it today. His jacket was a deep purple color, and the silk cravat around his neck a bright peacock blue. Both colors were woven into his waistcoat, and fitted tan trousers disappeared into black knee-high boots with a shine on them high enough to see my reflection in. In a town where most of the patrons were more the cowboy type, he stood out.

I stood off to the side a moment to collect my thoughts. I didn't feel the anger I had halfway expected, but there was a slight sting of betrayal. It had taken me a while to get over that; at the time I hadn't been sure I would ever get over it, but as the months passed the hurt had eased. Now it was just a bruise; still tender if it was hit just right, but no longer painful. I was glad. I hadn't been sure what I would feel when I finally saw Jim again.

I took a deep breath and walked over to the corner table Jim was sitting at. "Jim."

I saw the uncertainty on his face when he first looked up, but he broke into a grin when he saw I didn't have my claws out. "Bart." He stood and pumped my hand enthusiastically several times. "It's good to see you, old boy." I wanted to remain a little stoic, but I couldn't help but smile hearing that English accent roll off his tongue. "How long has it been? Two years?"

"A little more than that I'd say." I knew exactly how long it had been, but that was close enough.

We both sat down and he gave me a once-over. "You are looking well, Bart. This life must agree with you."

"It does."

"And your . . . lovely wife; how is she?"

I fought back a smile wondering how sincere the question was. Jim had been taken with Doralice when he'd first met her and he'd done a great job of charming her, but he hadn't wholeheartedly supported my decision to marry. I wondered if his attitude concerning marriage had changed over the years. It was doubtful. "She's fine."

Adam brought me a cup of coffee over and I nodded my thanks. I waited until Jim and I were alone again before I said anything else. "So what brings you to Little Bend? Just passing through?" I knew better than that. I haven't often known Jim to go anywhere, just because. If he was here, there was a reason for it, especially after what happened last time.

Jim cleared his throat and looked at his drink for a moment. "Actually . . . Bart, I . . . I need a favor."

I winced. I hadn't been expecting that, and that sting I'd felt when I'd first seen Jim got intense for a second. "Like last time?"

Jim actually flinched back, and for a moment he looked as sorry as I'd ever seen him. But it wasn't long before there was a smile back on his face; albeit a strained one. "I deserved that."

"Yes, you did."

"And you have every right to be angry," Jim went on as though I hadn't spoken. "But believe me, Bart, this is nothing like last time. I'm asking for nothing but a little time. You'll be out no money at all and I won't even be staying in town long. As a matter of fact, I'll be leaving today."

Last time I'd seen him, I'd told Jim to get out of Little Bend and not to bother coming back. Hurt as I'd been it hadn't taken me long to regret those words and wonder how I might have handled the situation differently. It also hadn't taken me long to wonder how much Jim would take those words to heart. It appeared he'd taken more notice than I'd assumed he would. I stared down into my coffee again and admitted to myself I'd never liked the thought of me and Jim ending like that, we really have been through a lot together, but at the same time I wanted Jim to know I hadn't forgotten how we'd left things; I couldn't forget his betrayal, not yet.

"I'm not doing anything illegal, Jim." Most people might think the statement odd, but most folks don't know Dandy. He is a friend, but to be frank, he's also a con man and a cheat, and if he asks you to do anything, he definitely has an ulterior motive. I just wondered what it was this time, and figured it would be best to set the boundaries right now.

"Really, Bart, would I ask you to do anything illegal?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Do you really want me to answer that?" It wouldn't be the first time he'd done it.

Jim looked a little put out but chagrined and he finally nodded. "I can understand your hesitation, really, but I mean it, there's absolutely nothing about this that could cause you any type of legal trouble."

"I mean it too," I told him sternly. "I have a family now; a wife and kids . . . ."

"Children?"

I grinned, my anger at Jim dissipating at the thought of my girls. Sleep or no sleep, they were my pride and joy and sometimes it still amazed me I'm actually a father. I've always wanted a family, but the realization that I now had one still made me a little giddy from time to time. "Yeah. Twins. Both of 'em girls. They were born almost a month ago."

The look on Jim's face changed and he merely stared at me a moment. "Well, that's . . . convenient."

"Convenient?"

"I mean . . . congratulations."

"Thanks," I said knowing the words were probably more out of politeness than actual happiness. "But I'm serious, Jim. I got too much to take care of now. I can't afford to get mixed up in one of your schemes."

"But it's not a scheme."

"And how many times have you said that to Bret?" Bret and Jim seem to go between not seeing eye to eye and barely tolerating each other. Most of that stems from the fact that Jim has cheated and lied to Bret more times than I can count, and Bret has ended up in jail because of Jim on more than one occasion. For that matter, he's caused me some problems too. It was for this reason, I hesitated to grant Jim the favor he'd come in here asking for. He's never caused me as many problems as he has Bret, but he's been responsible for a scrape or two through the years. Some of them have been kind of serious too, and with a family and a business now, I wasn't interested in playing that game.

Jim sighed. "I'll admit that in the past I haven't always been entirely honest with you, or Bret, but this is different." I gave him another look. "I mean it. It's all above board and legal."

I could hardly believe it, but I found myself starting to weaken. "What is it, exactly?"

Jim broke into a grin. "It's quite simple really. I'm expecting a package, but of course, I have no permanent address for the moment. The only thing I need you to do is agree to pick it up and hold it for me when it comes in."

"And?"

"And nothing."

"And it can't be that simple."

"But it is. Really, Bart, I swear it. I only need a place to send it, and someone willing to claim it when it comes in."

"Why here?"

"Well, it could be considered valuable. I'd like to know it's with someone . . . someone I can trust, and no one can say a Maverick isn't trustworthy."

"It's not stolen, is it?"

Jim shook his head. "I've told you. There no way you could possibly incur any legal trouble. It's coming from an Evertt Winters. He's a solicitor. Call it . . . an inheritance, if you will."

"And why can't you be here to get it?"

"I have business to attend to in St. Louis. I don't know exactly when I'll be back. If you would just . . . hold it for me, until my return. Will you?"

I stared down at my coffee. I wasn't going to ask what 'business' Jim had in St. Loius, I didn't really want to know, but I had to admit, it did sound all right. I couldn't believe it, but I found myself nodding. "Yeah. Yeah, I'll do it."

That grin was back. "You'll have my sincere appreciation . . . ."

"I'm warning you, Jim, if you're lyin' to me . . . ."

"I'm not. My word as a . . . ." Jim trailed off. He cleared his throat. "You have my word."

I looked at Jim and for some reason, I believed him. I nodded again and fought back a smile. "For what that's worth."


	3. Everything's Fine (Bart)

**Everything's Fine**

Jim and I grabbed something to eat before he ran off, and I walked back to the saloon wondering if he hadn't made his getaway a little too quickly. By the time I reached the saloon I'd convinced myself I was worrying too much and he probably just wanted to leave before anymore Mavericks showed up. I was just a little gunshy because it was Dandy, but I did believe him. Whatever it was he wanted me to do was perfectly legal.

The night passed quietly and uneventfully, and I started home around three in the morning. When I got to the house I took my boots off out front and opened the door as quietly as I could. For a minute I stood in the doorway listening, relishing the silence. No noise meant no one was awake. Praying I didn't wake anyone up, I cautiously made my way down the dark hallway. I was almost afraid to breathe; I certainly wasn't about to light a lamp. Having Maude and Isabelle asleep at the same time was a rarity, and I knew Doralice would never forgive me if I woke one or both of them up.

I got to the bedroom and found Doralice sound asleep and alone, meaning both girls were in their room and apparently sleeping peacefully. For a minute I just stood and watched my wife. She's beautiful, she's amazing, and she's mine. Sometimes I still wonder what I ever did to deserve her. Smiling, I undressed and eased into the bed hoping I wouldn't wake her. As much sleep as I had lost, I knew Doralice had missed out on a lot more. There are some things only Mama can take care of.

Quiet as I tried to be, Doralice still stirred as I slid in next to her. "Bart?"

"Shhh, go back to sleep."

She rolled over and snuggled up next to me. "Mmm-hmm," she muttered as she laid her head on my shoulder. She sighed and seconds later her breathing was slow and even again. I gently kissed the top of her head and settled in to get some sleep of my own, hoping the reprieve the girls had granted us would last a good long while.

As it turned out, the reprieve lasted about an hour. It seemed like I had no sooner shut my eyes than I was being awakened by a screaming infant. I felt a pang of guilt as I watched Doralice push herself out of bed with a groan and stumble to the girl's nursery. I propped myself up on my elbows and waited a minute to see if I was called. I smiled, selfishly I'll admit, when I heard nothing and laid back down. I had just gotten settled back in when another scream joined the first one. With a groan of my own, I got out of bed and followed the crying down the hallway.

By the time I staggered into the nursery, Doralice was trying to feed one and get the other one out of her cradle. "I got her," I mumbled waving Doralice away.

Doralice sank into the rocker and got baby number one situated while I got baby number two. "Shhhh, don't cry sweetheart," I mumbled. The term of endearment kept me from having to try and figure out which one I was holding. I was pretty sure it was Maude, but at this moment, I wouldn't bet my life on it.

"Bring her over here," Doralice said. "I'm sure she wants the same thing."

I carried who I believed to be Maude over to Doralice and passed her over. It took a minute, but Doralice soon had both babies settled and suckling happily. "At least they're coordinating their efforts tonight, " I offered.

"If only they would do this every night." Most nights they did this one at a time. As unnerving as it could be to have two screaming at once, it meant getting them taken care of and back to sleep faster. At least I was hoping that's way it would work. "How have they been tonight?"

Doralice sighed. "Well, I was up with Isabelle a couple of hours ago. She ate then too. And Maudie was up about an hour before that."

"How much sleep have you had?"

She smiled sleepily. "Not enough. Can you take Isabelle? I think she's done."

I reached for the baby I was sure was Isabelle and thankfully Doralice didn't correct me. Truly, in the light of day, I don't have a much of a problem telling my light-haired, dark-eyed beauties apart. But in the dark, with a sleep muddled, possibly sleep deprived, mind, it was a little harder. I put her up on my shoulder and begin to pat her back. This part of the routine I knew pretty well, and I hadn't had to be spit up on too many times before I learned how to protect myself.

I patted her back until I heard the small belch escape. "You know, one day they'll fuss at you for doin' that," I told my daughter.

"You can change her," Doralice said. "She needs it before she goes back down."

I looked over and noticed she had finished feeding Maude. "Or I could take Maudie and you can change her," I offered with a smile. It wasn't I couldn't do that, but of the two tasks . . . well, I would rather handle more burping. Doralice rolled her eyes but switched with me. As she carried Isabelle across the room I heard her muttering something about men in a singsong voice.

Isabelle drifted off to sleep again as soon as she was dry and full, but Maude remained a little fussy and it took another twenty minutes or so before she was sleeping again. By the time Doralice and I made it back to our room, we were both wide awake. Tired, but awake. That didn't stop us from climbing back in the bed, though. Even if sleep didn't come right away, the rest was needed. Personally, I was hoping we could slip in another couple of hours before the girls decided the sun was up and they needed to be up too.

Once we were back in bed, Doralice snuggled up against me. "How did things go at the saloon tonight?" She hadn't said anything about not being there, nor had we talked about when or even if she would be coming back, but I could tell she missed being a part of things there.

"Fine. No overly drunken cowboys, no sore losers; no shootouts." I was smiling as I said it, but we both knew I was only half joking. Most nights are pretty quiet, and shootouts definitely weren't normal, but that didn't mean it was outside the realm of possibility.

"Did you get a good nap, today?"

"Uhhh . . . ." I had no idea what to say to that. I wouldn't say I'd tried to hide my naps from Doralice, but I hadn't advertised them either. Honestly, I felt a little guilty that I could sneak off and get some much-needed sleep while she was here with the girls most of the day. Not that she was without help. Her mother was only too happy to lend a hand when she could, but again, some things only mama can handle.

Doralice pulled back and gazed up at me with a smile. "You didn't really think you were hiding that, did you?"

I returned the smile, albeit a little sheepishly. "I wasn't tryin' to hide it."

"Uh-huh. So, did you sleep well?"

I took a deep breath wondering how she would feel about what I was about to tell her. "Uhh, no. It was . . . interrupted today."

"By . . . ."

"Jim came to see me today."

"Jim . . . Buckley?"

"Yeah."

"You haven't heard from him since . . . . ."

"Before the wedding."

"What did he want?" I never told Doralice about Jim taking money from the saloon and never intend to. Bret always has a story ready for her about what a fiend Dandy is, but Doralice has formed her own opinions based on what's she seen. She likes him, and I'd like to keep it that way.

"He wanted a favor."

"And you agreed to do it." It was a statement, not a question; she expected nothing else.

"After listening to him, yes, I agreed."

"Do you mind telling me about it?"

"He's receiving an inheritance or somethin'. He wanted to know if he could have it sent here and if I would agree to receive and hold it until he comes back through town. He swore it was all legal and there wasn't any way it could get me in any kind of trouble."

Doralice ran her fingers across my chest for a minute, then spoke. "Do you believe him?"

"Yes. That's not to say I think he told me everything. I'm sure there's some little thing he left out, but I do think he meant what he said about it being legitimate. I think he knows better than to pull any kind of stunt right now."

"You don't sound really sure of that."

"I am. I mean I know Bret has a lot of stories and they're not untrue, but he is my friend. He's saved my life before, you know."

I'd told her about what had happened when Jim and I had tried our hand at prospecting in the Black Hills that time. I was accused of murder and had almost gotten strung up for it. Jim had helped me enough that if we hadn't been able to find out the truth about the killing, they probably would have hanged him right beside me. Jim may show his selfish looking-out-for-number-one side the most often, but he does have another side, the side I know will help me when all the cards are on the table and I really need him.

"You don't have to explain it to me, Bart. If this is what you think you need to do then do it. I was just saying you sound unsure. It is because of some of the things Bret's told me about?"

I sighed. "Maybe. But most of that was just things gettin' out of hand." Jim has caused me problems, and I don't completely trust him, but I don't think he's ever intentionally put me in a position that would hurt me. He's just a little selfish and doesn't look at the big picture. As long as Jim is taken care of, Jim is happy.

"Are you afraid things are going to get out of hand this time?"

I leaned down and kissed her. "No; I won't let them. You and the girls are the most important thing in my life. I'm not going to do anythin' that might cause harm to any of you, and that includes letting harm come to me. You trust me?"

Doralice smiled and snuggled back up against me. "Of course I do. But what's the difference between you and Bret? I mean why does he treat you different?"

"That is a very good question and one that has driven Brother Bret crazy for years. I really don't know. I think part of Bret's problem is that he and Dandy both enjoy getting a rise out of the other one. There have been times Bret's done things with him that had nothin' to do with me at all."

Doralice sort of smiled. "He's told me. So, is this going to end up being one of those stories Bret's gonna to be tellin' a few years from now when the topic of Dandy Jim comes up."

I pulled her even closer. "Nope, I won't let it. I mean it, Doralice. I got too many things in my life that are too important now to let myself get mixed up in one of Dandy's messes. At the first sign of somethin' being wrong, I get Dave Parker on it and let Dandy deal with the aftermath."

She smiled. "Just take care of yourself. You're very important to a lot of people you know."

"I know. Speaking of which . . . ." I looked towards the door. "You'd better try to get some more sleep. Those little ladies will be awake again in a couple of hours and they won't be so easy to get back to sleep."

Doralice smiled again and tried to get even closer to me. I didn't think it was really possible, but I liked the way it felt to have her close. It suddenly occurred to me there was a way to get closer and I couldn't help the grin that came to my face. I quickly pushed the thought away, however. It was still a little too soon after babies to be thinking about that, and I wasn't sure Doralice would appreciate it. For now, I would just have to enjoy having her lay in my arms like this, and that was a pretty nice feeling too.

Within a few minutes, I could tell Doralice had gone back to sleep and I felt my own eyes growing heavy. As I was drifting back off, I found myself thinking of Jim again and what I had agreed to do. What if Dandy was getting me mixed up in something that would cause me grief? I shook that thought off almost as fast as I had the thought of making love to my wife. I did believe Jim, and everything would be fine.


	4. Brother Bret Returns (Bart)

**Brother Bret Returns**

I reached for my coffee again and didn't even bother to stifle the yawn. It had been three days since Jim had blown into town and then blown out almost as quickly. And that was the last time I'd had any decent sleep. That seemed like a bold statement given how the last few weeks had gone but Maudie soon showed us what real sleep deprivation looked like. According to Doralice, she spent most of the night screaming and inconsolable. Often times her cries would wake Isabelle meaning that now Doralice spent a good part of the night walking the floor trying to comfort one or the other of them. The last three mornings I had gone home to a screaming daughter and a wife who had looked like she had almost reached the end of her rope.

Maude – Doralice's mother, founder of Maude's, and my daughter's namesake – had spent most of the first week of the girl's lives with us and then Doralice and I had decided we were more than capable of handling our own children and insisted she could go home. It had taken me less than a day to realize that was going to be harder than I'd thought, but we'd done alright, until three days ago. The first morning I'd gone home to find an exhausted Doralice trying to comfort Maudie, I had suggested seeing if her mother could come back over for a few days, but Doralice had resisted the idea. This morning when I'd gone home and found both her and Maudie in the front room crying I'd decided to call on my mother-in-law whether Doralice wanted it or not.

I'd told Maude about the trouble we were having when I'd seen her at the saloon earlier today and she'd been only too happy to run to the aide of her little girl. Meanwhile, I was hoping I wouldn't suffer her little girl's wrath when I got back home. However, the thought of three or four hours of uninterrupted sleep almost seemed like an equitable trade for Doralice's anger. I couldn't go for many days like this, and Doralice wasn't doing any better. Personally, I wasn't good for much of anything right now. I'd been trying to work on one of the ledgers for the last two hours and had gotten nowhere. When I wasn't falling asleep at my desk the figures were swimming in front of my eyes. Sighing I reached for my coffee again, only to find my cup and the pot empty. Seeing it as a good reason to get away from the books for a couple of minutes, I took the pot out to the barroom.

It was still early enough that there wasn't too much activity in the barroom, but a few people were around. There were a couple men at the bar, so I stood off to the side and waited for Adam to finish with the customers. When I caught his eye I waved him over.

"Would you fill that when you get a chance?" I asked passing the empty pot over.

"Yes, sir."

"Thanks," I said with a smile. I'd about decided just to learn to answer to sir, at least where Adam was concerned. I no longer had the energy to correct him every time he said it; I was starting to think he had no intention of changing anyway.

I went back to my office and sat down with the ledger again. I'd long ago decided this was the most distasteful part of being part owner in a saloon. It was a necessary evil, however, and I told myself I wouldn't get back up until I'd made some kind of progress with it.

I was hunched over my desk, adding up numbers when I heard a knock and then the door open. "Thanks, Adam," I said without looking up. "Just set it down over there."

"Be glad to if I had it. Whatever it is."

I jerked my head up at the familiar but unexpected voice. "Bret." Bret was grinning and wrapped me in a bear hug as soon as I got around my desk.

I hadn't seen Bret in nearly two months, and he hadn't seen his nieces yet. He'd been here just before the girls were born, and he'd intended to stay put for a while. But a couple of weeks before that happened, he'd received a telegram from his lady love, Ginny Malone. Ginny's a Pinkerton detective, and more often than not, when she's working on something Bret can't be around. Because of that, they spend time together when they can. So, when she told him she was going to be in Kansas City for a while with not much to do, I couldn't very well ask him to stay with me, even if babies were on the way.

"I wasn't expecting you here today," I said when he finally released me.

"Didn't you get my telegram?"

"Yeah, we got it."

"I told you I'd be in today or tomorrow."

I stopped and realized he was right. "Guess I lost track of the days."

Bret gripped my shoulders and pushed me back some. "You're lookin' a little worn down at that. Sleepin' all right?"

I saw the twinkle in his eye and knew he knew what the answer to that was. He'd been around long enough before little Maverick one and two arrived to hear all the warnings Pappy, Uncle Ben, and Maude had issued about my impending lack of sleep. My only reply was a look, and he finally laughed. "Is it really as bad as everyone said?"

I finally laughed myself. "Yes. It started out alright, but the last few nights Maudie's spent most of the night crying."

Bret stepped back and looked me over. "Well, other than that, you're lookin' pretty good for a pappy. How's it feel?"

I grinned. "It's better than anything I ever imagined. Just wait till you see 'em."

Bret's grin grew if that was possible. "Yeah. Them huh. I guess that was a surprise." Bret may not have been around to see them right after they were born, but I hadn't wasted any time sending a telegram of my own telling him he was an uncle to not one but two girls.

"You could call it that. You coulda knocked me over with a feather. And poor Doralice looked more than a little shocked for the first couple of days."

"Please tell me they don't look like you."

I laughed. "You're in luck. They've both got Mama's eyes and what hair they have is blonde."

"Mama's eyes, huh. So your eyes?"

"Nope. Pappy was real quick to declare them Mama's eyes. Honestly, Bret, I'm pretty sure he likes them better than either one of us."

"I don't blame him. I'll probably like them better than I like you too."

"Ready to meet 'em?"

"That is why I came."

"The only reason?" I asked with a grin

Bret grinned right back. "Yep. Can't think of any other reason to hang around here."

I grabbed my coat and slipped it on. "Let's go." I wasn't making any progress on what I was supposed to be working on anyway. Maybe my head would be clearer later.

"Can you go right now?"

I nodded. "Sure. Maude's at the house. I don't think she'll mind coming in for a while, and things are pretty quiet this time of the day. Adam can handle things for a few minutes."

I told Adam to hold the fort until Maude came in and then met up with Bret outside. "So," I said once we'd started towards the house. "How's Ginny?"

"Fine."

"Are you and her . . . ."

Bret nodded. "We're fine."

"Good." Honestly, I'd been hoping for something a little more enthusiastic. I believed him, but I was hoping by now they might be getting a little closer to marriage. I don't quite understand those two. They love each other, and I can't imagine anyone being better for Bret than Ginny, but I don't know why they haven't made their situation more permanent. Bret had asked Ginny to marry him once, and she'd asked him to wait. Later she'd agreed to marry anytime he said, and he'd said not yet.

It's Bret's life, I can't and wouldn't want to push him into anything he didn't want, but over the last couple of years, I've come to realize I really miss Bret when he goes off. It's not a desire to run off with him; I'm happy here with my life and I have no regrets. It's Bret I miss. I keep hoping he and Ginny will go ahead and settle down and maybe come on home, but like I said, it's his life. I guess he'll get around to it one day.

"So I told you about my girl. Tell me about yours."

I was grinning like a polecat again. "They're amazing, Bret. Beautiful and perfect. I've never fallen for any girl as fast as I did those two." I noticed Bret was watching me with a smirk. "What?"

Bret shook his head. "You know, there was a time when me and Pappy weren't sure we'd get you to manhood alive. Now you're all respectable. It looks like it suits you pretty good."

"Funny, that's what Dandy said."

"Dandy?" Bret stopped short. "You've talked to Buckley?"

"Yeah. He came through town a few days ago." I hadn't meant to tell Bret about Jim's visit. There didn't seem to be much point. I knew it would only get Bret's back up to hear about him, and really there was no reason for him to know.

"What'd he want?"

"Nothin' in particular."

"All right, Brother Bart. You were never that good at lyin', and that was really bad. What'd he want?"

"Why do you think he wanted anything?"

"Because it's Buckley. He has an angle to everything he does. And no one passes through Little Bend."

I shrugged. "He wanted me . . . to do a favor for him."

Bret stared at me for a good minute before he sighed heavily. "And you agreed to do it." Like Doralice, it was a more statement than a question.

"I did."

"What was it?" He kept his voice even, and he didn't look upset, but I could feel the tension building up inside of him.

"I told him he could have a package sent here. I'm supposed to pick it up and keep it until he comes back through town."

Again, Bret just stared for a minute before he sort of shook his head and muttered "oh, boy" as he turned and started walking again.

I have to say, I was surprised. I expected Bret to have more to say. A lot more. And in a louder tone of voice. "Is that it?" I asked, having to run a little to catch up with him.

"Yep."

"Why?"

"Nothin' else to say."

"Really?"

Bret shook his head. "Bart, if you ain't learned by now Buckley isn't going to ask you to do anything that doesn't benefit Buckley first and foremost, nothin' I say is gonna help."

"I know that but . . . he said its all aboveboard, and I believe him."

Bret scoffed. "You think Buckley actually told the truth about somethin'? You really haven't had much sleep have you?"

I shrugged. "I think he told as much of the truth as it's possible for him to."

Bret shook his head. "I hope you know what your doin'."

I followed in silence. I hoped so too.

An hour later Bret was in the front room of the house holding Maudie, who was sleeping peacefully in his arms. "This can't be the one you claim causes all the problems," he said looking at me with a smirk. Maude had passed her namesake over to Bret before she'd left and there hadn't been a peep out of her since.

I looked at my daughter and shook my head. "Would you believe that's the quietest I've seen her in days?"

Bret flashed me a grin. "Nope. I think you're just telling tales on this angel."

I snorted. "Believe me; she's got a set of lungs on her when she's of a mind to use them."

"How do you know?" he asked with a laugh. "Maybe it's really Isabelle giving you all the trouble."

I looked down at the baby nestled against my chest and smiled. "Maybe you're right."

Bret's face lost all its humor. "How possible is that? I mean, how do you know?"

"Know what?"

"Which one is which."

I looked down confirming it was indeed Isabelle I had. "I've got Isabelle, you've got Maude."

Bret looked down, over at me, then back down again. "Seriously, Bart, how do you know that?"

My brother had a look of total bewilderment with a touch of horror on his face, and I completely understood. The first time I'd ever been left alone with them, and by alone I mean Doralice left me in their room while she went to the kitchen, I was afraid I'd mixed them up. The girls were barely a week old, Maude had gone home the day before, and I'd quickly discovered I wasn't as ready to take care of my children as I'd thought I'd been. I'd been exhausted and overwhelmed and had spent a good two minutes in a panic, convinced I'd never really know who was who again, and sure Doralice would kill me when she found out. Now as soon as I calmed down some, I was able to sort it out, but, yes, I understood Bret's horror, and I couldn't resist stringing him along some.

"I can just tell." I shrugged. "I guess it comes with the territory. Being a pappy and all that."

Bret looked like he believed me for half a second before he gave me a look. "Alright, smart aleck, you gonna tell me the truth now?"

I laughed. "Actually that was one of the first things Doralice asked when they were born, how were we gonna tell them apart. Maude helped with that one." I nodded toward my daughter in Bret's arms. "Maudie wore a red ribbon around her wrist for the first few days, then we found out Isabelle has a little mole behind her left ear." I pointed to the place on my own ear. "Maudie's a little smaller too, but mostly it's the mole we use."

"I knew you weren't smart enough to just know. So, how many times have you mixed them up?"

"Just once really," I admitted sheepishly. "Doralice had taken Maudie's ribbon off to give her a bath and then left me alone with them. I laid her down to get a towel and when I went to pick her back up . . . . I thought for sure I'd never be able to tell one from the other again. I was afraid to tell Doralice for days."

"And then you found out Doralice already knew." I turned my head and saw Doralice coming into the room. She was smiling and looked more rested than I'd seen her look in several days. Hopefully, that meant she wasn't upset I'd sent Maude over earlier. She leaned down and kissed me. "It wasn't hard to figure out what caused that hysterical look you had when I got back." She then turned her attention to Bret. "Don't get up," she told him when he made a move to rise. "If she's resting we certainly don't want to wake her."

"You're lookin' beautiful as ever, Doralice," my brother said as she walked over to him.

"And you talk just as sweet as ever," she said with a smile. "I'm looking tired, but thankfully much smaller than the last time you saw me. They demand an awful lot of attention for such small people." She kissed his cheek. "It's good to see you again, Bret."

"It's good to see you too. Sorry I couldn't be here to see the little ones before now."

"You had important matters of your own to see to." She gazed longingly at the baby in his arms for a moment before turning to me. "Why can't she be like that when it's just me here?"

I shrugged helplessly, wishing I had an answer for her. She obviously wasn't expecting one though, because she came to sit down beside me on the settee and took Isabelle away. "Speaking of your own important matters, Bret, how is Ginny?"

"She's fine. Sends her best and said to tell you she'd come visit as soon as she can get away."

I could tell there was a lot more she wanted to say about Ginny, but she wisely chose not to and turned the conversation to other matters.

We talked for almost another hour, catching up with everything that had been going on for the last couple of months; Bret's time in Kansas City, the saloon, the babies, Pappy, Uncle Ben, and somehow Doralice managed to work Dandy into the talk. That, of course, led to talk about the favor I'd agreed to. Before Bret could say too much about it, however, Maudie came to my rescue and started fussing. Doralice took her to the nursery to feed her and Bret took that as his cue to leave.

"I better be gettin' on out to Ben's," he said as he stood and stretched. "He and Pappy'll have my hide if I ignore them too long."

"Just tell him you were occupied by the girls and Pappy will forgive you anything."

Bret chuckled. "I'm lookin' forward to seein' just how taken he is with them."

"Smitten, Brother Bret. Totally and completely smitten."

I followed him to the front door and before he left I pulled him into a hug. "It's good to have you home, Brother Bret."

Bret squeezed me back. "It's good to be home. Hey," he said as we broke apart. "I heard Maude tell you not to worry about going back to the saloon tonight. Why don't you and your lady try to get some sleep? You both look like you could use some."

"I can't argue that. I'll see you tomorrow?"

Bret nodded. "Sooner or later. If what you say about Pappy and those girls are true I'll probably have him with me."

I laughed. "Every word was true, and you probably will."

Bret tipped his hat to me. "See you tomorrow, Brother Bart. Sleep well."

"Your lips to God's ears," I muttered. I shut the door behind him and leaned against it. Nothing sounded as good to me as crawling into bed with my lady and sleeping. I wondered what the chances of that happening were. I was about to go into the nursery and see how things were going when I got my answer. I didn't make it five steps before someone started crying.


	5. Special Delivery (Bart)

**Special Delivery**

The next few days passed without much incident, except Maudie was diagnosed with colic. One thing you don't want to hear as a father, especially a brand new father, is that your child is sick. Then I found out exactly what that meant. It meant my daughter was going to cry, a lot, for no apparent reason, and there wasn't much we were going to be able to do about it. And continue to cry she did, usually at night. I felt like I hadn't had a decent night's sleep since the day Doralice had given birth; I could only imagine how Doralice felt.

Bret coming home turned out to be a blessing, and not just because I got to see my brother again. Once we found out about the colic, he started lending a hand at the saloon and I appreciated the help. I could now stay with Doralice without feeling like I was abandoning Maude, or send Maude to the house and go to the saloon without feeling like I was running away. I soon found out just how badly I needed my time at the saloon as it was about the only place I could go to get a break. I do love my girls, all three of them, but sometimes I just needed out of the house, and the saloon was one place I could run off to without anyone questioning why I was there.

Between trying to take care of things at the saloon and still trying to adjust to being a parent, I didn't have a lot of time to worry about Jim and the favor I'd agreed to. As a matter of fact, I hardly gave it any thought. It wasn't that I forgot about it exactly, but with so many other things going on, it certainly wasn't a priority. After nearly two weeks without hearing anything from Jim or anyone else connected with him, his visit was almost a distant memory. It wasn't until I was having breakfast with Bret one morning, about a week after he'd come home, that I let myself give Dandy's mysterious package any consideration.

It was Saturday morning, and Bret and I had just finished up a relatively quiet Friday night at Maude's. We had handled things at the saloon so Maude could spend the night with Doralice at the house. Neither me nor Doralice seemed to be able to do anything with Maudie at night. The girl cried and no amount of feeding, changing, walking, rocking, singing, or begging from her mother or father had any effect on her. Oddly, both her grandmother and her Uncle Bret always seemed to be able to calm her easily. At the very least they could turn her screams into whimpers. Bret obviously couldn't be of much help at night, but Maude had decided to start staying over when Doralice was feeling like she was being stretched particularly thin. On the whole, it was becoming a workable situation. Doralice was getting some rest, Maude was getting time with her granddaughters, and I got time away from the house without feeling guilty about leaving Doralice there alone. It couldn't go on that way forever, but Maude kept telling us colic didn't go on forever, either. It couldn't end soon enough for me.

Anyway, me and Bret were getting breakfast before going home and about the time we were finishing up Peter Hopkins from the telegraph office came in. "Bart," he said as he walked up. "I thought I might find you in here. Got a telegram for ya."

I thanked him and gave him a coin before opening the envelope. I must have had some kind of look on my face because Bret asked if it was bad news. I shook my head. "No. Least I don't think so. It's from Mr. Winters, Esquire, Biloxi, Mississippi."

"Oh. Well, that clears things up."

"It's the lawyer Buckley told me about. The one that's handling his inheritance."

Bret suddenly looked interested. "Does he say anything about what it is?"

"Nope. Just that he's coming in on the stage Tuesday, and he wants me to meet him to take delivery."

"He's delivering it personally?"

I shrugged and passed the telegram to him. "Apparently."

Bret read the telegram over and passed it back with a sigh. "I don't like this, Bart."

"Why? What makes you so sure this is going to be bad?"

"Because it's Buckley. He's tried to con and swindle us more times than I can count. Why should this be different?"

Truth be told, Bret had a point. Given some things in our past, including the last time I'd tried to help Jim, Bret's question was a fair one. I guess it would be just as fair to ask why I thought this wasn't going to be something bad. Maybe it's because Jim is a friend and I really wanted to believe he could be honest about something. Maybe I just wanted to be able to tell Bret I-told-you-so. Whatever the reason, I did believe things would be ok, and I was getting a little tired of feeling like I needed to justify trying to help a friend.

"Well," I said indicating the telegram. "He told the truth about the lawyer."

"Maybe. How do you know this guy is really a lawyer. He could be one of Buckley's . . . _friends_. Anyone could sign a telegram esquire."

I raised an eyebrow at Bret starting to feel a little exasperated. "That's a little much don't you think? Not that I'd put it past him in a swindle, but I doubt he'd go to those lengths with me. I told you, I don't think this is a swindle."

"Alright, so it's not a swindle. What is it?"

"Have you ever thought that maybe it's exactly what he said it was?"

Bret nodded. "For a moment, yeah. But I don't think he knows how to tell the truth."

"He's not that bad." Bret just shrugged, and I felt my irritation rise a little more. "Okay, what do you think it's about?"

"I don't know. I haven't been able to figure it. It can't be money; he'd have that sent directly to him."

"I agree." I put some money on the table, enough to cover Bret's meal too, and stood. I was ready to go home and I didn't really want to have this conversation in the middle of the café. "So it's somethin' besides money. But somethin' he said could be considered valuable."

Bret obviously sensed my mood because he waited until we were outside before he said anything else. "But what? Wouldn't he of had anything that had any value sent to him?"

"I don't know, Bret. All I know is what he told me." I held the telegram up as evidence. "And so far, things have gone the way he said they would. I'm not gonna assume he's lyin' just because you don't like him."

I hadn't intended to snap, but I must have because Bret sort of held his hands up in surrender. "No offense meant. I just know how he can be, and you've got a lot going on right now. It sounds a little suspect and I don't want to see you get mixed up in anything when you've already got so much to worry about."

"I appreciate that; really. But I'll tell you the same thing I told Doralice. I'm not gonna let myself get mixed up in somethin' that could hurt me or my family. At the first sign of somethin' bein' off, I turn it over to Dave and let Dandy deal with the consequences."

We'd just reached the house and Bret put a hand on my shoulder. "I know you won't let anything happen to them. But I'm still your big brother and I still worry about you sometimes. Forgive me?"

Bret talks about my puppy dog eyes, but he can look pretty pitiful too when he takes the notion. I already felt bad about snapping at him, once that look was added I really felt bad. "Sure I do. I don't mean to be so testy . . . ."

"You're tired. I know. I also know Maude wouldn't object to you takin' some time off until you and Doralice get settled in some. Why don't you take tonight off?"

"It's Saturday. I can't leave y'all on a Saturday." That was only partially true. I would have hated to leave them on the busiest night of the week, but I wasn't in any hurry to listen to Maudie scream all night either.

Bret smiled. "I knew you'd say that, but it was worth a try. At least try to get some sleep today."

"I will."

Bret slapped my shoulder. "Then I'll see you tonight. Get some sleep."

Thanks to Maude having stayed the night I was able to get some sleep, and Saturday night passed without any major mishaps. Sunday it seemed was declared visiting day and family was in and out of the house all day. Both Isabelle and Maudie were perfect angels; sleeping, cooing, and generally being the sweetest things Pappy had ever seen in his life. That lasted until everyone was gone, and the sun went down. Whatever colic was, and no one seemed to be able to tell me, it was turning the Maverick house upside down. But between me and Doralice, we managed to sleep a little and keep two babies mostly satisfied.

Monday Maude told me to take the day off, and I was glad I did. The day actually passed much like Sunday had and for the most part, the girls were a pleasure. I was starting to think maybe Doralice and I were getting better at this parenting thing, and then the sun went down again. I swear I didn't understand this colic. I tried to talk to Maudie about it while I was taking my shift with her but she wasn't inclined to tell me anything. By the time I made another escape to the saloon Tuesday just after lunch, I was feeling like I would never get the hang of being a father.

I had been doing paperwork in my office for a couple of hours when the yawning started. I hadn't realized I was tired before, but something about sitting here in the quiet with nothing more than figures to keep me company was making my eyes heavy. I checked my watch then looked over at the couch. I had nearly an hour and a half before I was supposed to meet the stage; that was more than enough time to slip in a short nap.

Standing, I slipped off my jacket and undid my tie before I stretched out on the sofa, intent on enjoying an hour or so of sleep. I no sooner shut my eyes, however, before someone started pounding on my door. I lay there sure they would go away but the knocking continued. After a minute I heard Bret calling my name.

I got up and staggered to the door, wondering what was so important that my brother would be disturbing me.

A look of relief crossed Bret's face as soon as I opened the door. "You alright? Why'd you lock the door?"

I stared at him. "Am I alright? Just tryin' to get some rest like you keep tellin' me to. Is there a reason you won't let me? That's why the door was locked so I wouldn't be disturbed."

"Well, I hate that I had to, but I been bangin' on this door for about ten minutes. You were supposed to be at the stage office fifteen minutes ago."

Again I stared at Bret, this time in disbelief. That couldn't be right. I'd only just laid down. Took my watch out again and checked it. My heart skipped a beat when I saw the time. Bret was right, I was late. I grabbed my jacket and tie up with a curse and rushed out the door trying to put myself back together as I walked. When we reached the boardwalk Bret grabbed my arm and stopped me.

"You're already late," he said as he helped straighten my tie. "Another minute or two won't matter."

"Why didn't you wake me?" I asked when we started walking again.

"I tried. Told you I knocked on that door for about ten minutes. You locked it remember? I couldn't get in."

I looked at my watch again and sighed. I couldn't believe I was so far behind. "Hurry up," I snapped.

"Nothin' like rushin' to your doom," Bret muttered.

I don't know if he meant for me to hear him or not, but I had, and it irritated me. "Why'd you come along then?" I asked irritably. I didn't mind him being there, but I didn't want to hear about what a mistake I was making the whole walk either.

"Morbid curiosity."

"What's that mean?"

"I want to know what he's up to. What would he have to have sent to you, that he couldn't get himself."

"He said he didn't have an address."

"Even so, it wouldn't be a problem for him to stay in one place long enough to get a package would it?"

I chuckled. "Maybe not for most people, but this is Dandy. He'd have to behave himself a few weeks."

Bret laughed too. "That would be askin' a lot of him, wouldn't it?"

We arrived at the stage office and I went inside, ready to make an apology, and found Hopkins deep in conversation with another man. I didn't recognize him and assumed it was Everett Winters, Esquire.

Hopkins look up and smiled. "Just the man we've been lookin' for."

The other man turned and I knew right away it had to be Winters. He looked to be in his mid-fifties with a slim build. He was shorter than me and Bret but still a fairly tall man, and he was clean-shaven although his once dark hair was now liberally streaked with gray. The suit he was wearing was dark and stylish but still conservative and professional looking. All in all, he was distinguished and very lawyer looking. He looked between me and Bret. "Mister Maverick?"

Bret grinned. "You found two of them."

"Mister Bartley Maverick."

I inwardly cringed at the name, but stepped forward and offered my hand. "That would be me. This is my brother Bret."

Winters shook both our hands. "I'm very glad to see Mister Maverick. I was afraid there might have been some confusion as to my arrival."  
. I grimaced "No, Mister Winters, nothin' like that. I apologize I wasn't here earlier. I had twins born not long ago and sleep has been a little hard to come by lately. I'm afraid I overslept."

Winters actually brightened some. "A family man. Well, I'm glad to see Mister Buckley taking such care with his interest."

I thought that was odd but before I could ask, or even think too much about it, Winters continued. "I imagine you're a busy man so I'll make this as quick as I can." He opened the bag he had with him and began leafing through the papers inside. "I only need your signature, Mister Maverick. Merely a receipt of delivery stating that you're assuming responsibility until Mister Buckley returns."

I moved up beside Winters. "Is this a formality or does Jim think that much of this?"

Winters glanced up and gave me a strange look. "It is a necessary legal formality, but I should certainly hope Mister Buckley thinks a lot of this." He went back to digging in his bag and soon pulled out a piece of paper. "Here we are. If you'll just sign here, Mister Maverick, I can officially turn the child over to you."

I had the pen in my hand about to put ink to paper when Winters' words stopped me cold. I lowered the pen and looked at the lawyer. "The what?"

I got that look again. "The child, Mister Maverick."

I dropped the pen and straightened. "What child?"

Winters was now looking at me like I had lost my mind. "The child you agreed to assume responsibility for, Mister Buckley's son."

I heard a sort of strangled sounding noise come from Bret. I jerked around and found him staring wide-eyed at the back wall of the stage office. Almost afraid of what I was going to see, I looked around the lawyer. Leaning against the wall, watching us all somberly, was a boy about six or seven years old, and there was something strangely familiar in the dark hair and eyes. More than familiar actually, it was like looking at a very young Jim Buckley.

A rushing noise filled my head and I felt a little off-kilter. I grabbed hold of the counter to keep myself steady and turned back to Winters. "Ex-excuse me."


	6. Jack (Bart)

**Jack**

I hadn't heard him right; there was no way I'd heard him right. But if the look on Winters' face was any indication at all, he'd said exactly what I was afraid he had.

"Mister Buckley's son," Winters said again. "I was told you were the man I was to bring him to until Mister Buckley had resolved his affairs out of town."

The roaring in my ears had almost gone away and the room didn't seem to be spinning as much. I kept my grip on the counter however and took a steadying breath before I answered. "I did not agree to that." I'd planned on the words coming out strong and sure, but I'm pretty sure it was nothing more than a squeak. I glanced at the boy, then back to Winters. "I – I can't take him."

"You've been in contact with Mister Buckley recently?"

"Yes."

"And you discussed the matter with him?"

"No."

The attorney looked baffled. "Mister Maverick, we obviously aren't understanding one other."

"He hasn't been sleeping well."

That came from Bret and I gave him a glare. Sleep, or my lack thereof, had nothing to do with this. At least I didn't think it did. I didn't think this would make sense no matter how much sleep I'd had. "No, Mister Winters, I'm afraid we aren't."

Winters took a breath. "This appears to be a shock, Mister Maverick, so I'll explain it as simply as I can. I was Miss Lenora Freemont's attorney; the boy's mother. She was unmarried and had no relations other than her son so, upon her passing, the task of managing her estate fell to me. She was quite emphatic about the point that if anything should happen to her before her son became of age, his father was to be notified before any other arrangements were made for him. The name she provided was James Buckley."

"I'm not James Buckley."

"Yes, I understand that, but he did contact you and make arrangements."

I was starting to understand where Winters was going with this, and I didn't like it. I swallowed hard. "He contacted me."

Winters nodded. "It was no simple task, but upon Miss Freemont's untimely death, Mister Buckley was located and told of the boy and Miss Freemont's wishes. Mister Buckley did not try to deny parentage, he offered no dispute he had fathered the boy, and he agreed to Miss Freemont's request that he assume guardianship of his son. In due time he responded with instructions the boy was to be sent to Little Bend, Texas, here, and left in the care of a Bartley Maverick, you, until personal matters could be resolved and he could assume full guardianship. Do you have a different account, Mister Maverick?"

"Uhhh, well . . . . "

"You agreed to receive the child and assume responsibility for him until Mister Buckley's return, did you not?"

"No," I said finally feeling like I was getting somewhere. "I agreed to receive . . . a package." Even as the words left my mouth it hit me what Jim had done. How carefully he had worded things to get me to agree to keep . . . his son . . . for an undetermined amount of time.

The confusion left Winters and was replaced with sympathy. "Mister Buckley neglected to tell you exactly what his request entailed?"

I sighed, relieved to finally be on the same page as the lawyer. "I'm afraid that's exactly it."

"I see." He glanced back at the boy, whose expression hadn't changed. When he faced me again, he took a step closer and lowered his voice. "This puts me in a rather difficult position, Mister Maverick. My job was to see the boy safely to his guardian. Legally, I have no right to retain custody. I never really had any. Only insofar as seeing him safely from Biloxi to Little Bend."

I ran a hand through my hair. "You're saying there's nothin' you can do?"

"I'm afraid not. You are the man his father specified he was to be left with. To do anything different . . . ."

I looked over at Bret beseechingly. I don't know what I expected him to do, but he was my brother. He's always supposed to have an answer. This time he had no help to offer and all I got was a shrug. To his credit, however, the amusement had left his face.

"Is there anything that can be done?" I asked the lawyer once I realized my brother was going to be no help.

"Yes," Winters said slowly. "There are a couple of options, and I'd be willing to discuss them. However, I think it would be best to do that away from Jasper."

"Jasper?" Winters sort of cut his eyes over to the boy and I realized Jasper must be the kid's name. It probably would be best if the boy didn't hear all this, I realized. He'd likely heard too much already. I nodded. "Of course. I uh, I don't suppose any of these things could be done tonight."

Winters offered me a wan smile. "I'm afraid not."

I glanced over at the kid, still looking at all of us impassively. It was odd seeing a boy his age that quiet and still and something about him pulled at me. Maybe Jim had suckered me into this, but it wasn't the kid's fault. He shouldn't have to stand here and watch strangers argue about what was going to be done with him like he was a piece of property. I finally sighed accepting that, for the moment, I was stuck. I faced the attorney again. "You have something for me to sign, Mister Winters?"

Winters passed me the paper. I glanced over it and found everything was as Winters had said. I quickly signed it and handed it back feeling a little sick. Winters also looked it over and then tucked it back into his bag with a smile. "I'm scheduled to leave on the stage for Houston at eleven tomorrow. I would be available to meet with you anytime before that."

I didn't much care when we met so long as I was able to get this situation sorted out. I suggested breakfast though, hoping my head would be a little clearer come morning. Winters agreed and at long last took me over to formally meet the son of James Buckley.

"Jasper," Winter said when we'd reached him. "I'd like you to met Mister Maverick."

Jasper looked up at me, seeming to study me intently. "The one I'm supposed to stay with?"

So Jasper knew about the arrangements. I wondered what else he knew. I felt a knot settle in my stomach but forced a smile. "For a while," I answered. "I'm Bart. It's nice to meet you, Jasper." I offered him my hand, hoping my easy demeanor would help relax him. Whether it worked or not, I don't know. Those eyes that reminded me so much of Jim Buckley continued to stare at me.

He hesitated for a moment but finally took my hand. "It's a pleasure, Mister Maverick."

I kept smiling but inside my gut was twisting itself into knots. This was a child, and I was taking him home with me. How was I going to explain this to Doralice?

XXXXXXX

After Winters left for the hotel, I decided to take my new charge and go back to the saloon. I wasn't ready to face Doralice yet and hoped that if I could just get by myself for a couple of hours I would be able to think of something to tell her. I hoped so anyway because at the moment I had no idea. I was stuck with a child and saw no way out. I felt guilty thinking about it in those terms, but I didn't know how else to say it.

I tried not to let my dismay show and told myself all the way to the saloon not to say anything negative to or around the boy. None of this was his fault, and he'd had no say in it, but how was I supposed to explain this to my wife? We already had two infants at home, one that cried all the time. Doralice had about all she could handle with them. What were we going to do with another one?

When we reached the saloon, I led Jasper in through the back way. I wanted to avoid everyone else, and so far as I know, it worked. It wasn't that I was hiding him exactly, I just didn't want anyone to see him. At least not until I came up with some explanation for Doralice. I thought she needed to know about this before anyone else, so my plan was to keep him out of sight until I was ready to go home and face her.

"Have a seat," I told him once we were inside my office.

He looked around the room silently before going over to the settee and plopping down.

So far he'd been pretty quiet. He hadn't said anything since our introduction and I wondered if he was always like that or if it was just because he was in a new place with people he didn't know. When he didn't say anything after a minute, I ventured another question. "Hungry?"

He looked over at me and I swear it was like having Dandy stare at me. Of course, I have no idea what Dandy looked like as a child, but I had a feeling it was something like the boy in front of me. "I could eat somethin', I guess," he said softly.

I smiled at him again, once more hoping to put him at ease. Honestly, it was a little unnerving just to have him stare all the time. "Alright. I'll get Bret to go over to the café and bring you something back. Sound good?"

Jasper merely nodded in return.

I slipped out of the office and went to the edge of the barroom. I saw Bret leaned against the bar talking to George. Adam was there too, and between the two of them, I knew I'd get sucked into some kind of issue about the saloon if I went over, so I stayed where I was and waited for Bret to notice me. It took a minute, but I finally caught his eye and he came over.

"Problems?" he asked when he was close enough.

I shook my head. "No, but would you mind goin' over to Sawyer's and getting some kind of snack for the kid?"

"Sure. You need anything else?"

"Somethin' to tell my wife." I was only half joking. If Bret had any suggestions, I'd take them.

Bret smiled. "I can't help you with that, son. But I'll be here as long as you need me tonight. And Maude's at the house with Doralice."

"Did you have to tell her?"

Bret, bless him, had agreed to help me with my mother-in-law. I wanted Doralice to be the first person I told, but I thought I might have to tell Maude something. She would need some kind of explanation as to why I'd suddenly changed the plans we'd had tonight about who was working where.

Bret shook his head. "I just told her you had somethin' unexpected come up with your "package" and you needed to get it sorted out. I also told her it was nothin' serious, you just needed some time."

I guess that was as good as anything. It was sort of serious, but Bret's words would keep the ladies from worrying about anything. "Thanks, Bret. I appreciate it. And pass the word around I don't want to be disturbed will you? You're the man in charge tonight."

"Sure thing." Bret slapped me on the shoulder. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

Bret went back over to the bar and said something to George. Whatever it was, George responded with a nod. Trusting that my brother had things well in hand, I went back to my office where I found Jasper right where I'd left him. It didn't look liked he'd moved at all since I'd been gone.

"Bret's gone for the food. He'll be back soon."

"Okay."

I waited for something else, anything else. Nothing came. "You need anything?"

"No, sir. I'm fine."

"Okay." I went back to my desk wishing the kid would give me something to work with. He wasn't being any trouble, but him just sitting there silently didn't help me find out anything about him or what the best way to handle this was. If this was the way he was all the time he certainly wouldn't require much looking after.

Another couple of minutes passed in silence and finally, I decided to start the conversation. So far he'd answered everything I'd asked, so if he wouldn't volunteer any information, I'd just ask. "So, how old are you, Jasper?" I asked as I put away some of the papers and ledgers on my desk.

"Six."

"When's your birthday?"

"May."

I tried to think to when I was that age. It came as a jolt to realize I couldn't remember much about it. I'd been seven when I got Scarlet Fever, but most of that is nothing more than a blur to me. What I do remember I'd just as soon forget. I didn't think that would help me relate to the boy across the room from me anyway.

Jasper suddenly sighed. "I hate it."

"Sorry?" I asked facing him.

"Jasper. I don't like being called that."

Frankly, I've heard worse names, but to be fair, I've never cared for Bartley. I still cringe when Pappy starts using Bartley, so I figured Jasper had the right not to like his name either. "What do you like?"

For the first time since we'd met I saw a smile. "Mama always called me Jack."

"Is that what you want me to call you?"

Jasper seemed to consider that then nodded. "Yes."

"Alright, Jack it is. And I never cared for Mr. Maverick, so how about you just call me Bart?"

He nodded. There was another long pause then he sat up straighter. "Bart?"

I was glad to finally be getting something out of him. I was also pleased he had spoken first. "Yes?"

"Do you think women should vote?"

I wasn't sure I'd heard him right. "What?"

Jack hopped off the sofa and came over to the desk. "Do you think women should be able to vote?"

Yep; I'd heard him right. "Vote? Where did that come from?"

"Some men don't think they should. Do you?"

"Well, I've known a lot of women who have done a lot of things. So far as I can see they can do most anything a man can do, so I guess there's no reason why they shouldn't get to vote."

Jack grinned. "Good."

"Why did you want to know?"

"My mama thought women needed to vote and said any man that said different was a chauvinist pig. I just wanted to know if you were a chauvinist pig."

I chuckled. "I don't think I am. Your mother was a suffragette?" Jack nodded, and I smiled at him again. "Like I said, I've seen women play poker, run ranches, own businesses; Bret even had a run-in with a female deputy once. They've done all that just fine, so I reckon they could vote just fine too."

"That's what mama said." He blew out a breath. "Well, I'm glad you're not a chauvinist pig." With that, he turned around and went back to the sofa.

When he sat back down he once again fell silent and went back to looking around the office. It seemed he was done talking for now. I fought back a smile and pulled out one of the ledgers. If my new charge wasn't feeling chatty I wasn't going to push him, but I had a feeling dealing with Jack was going to be an experience like I'd never had before. On the heels of that thought came the one that had been nagging me since I'd signed Winters paper. How was I going to tell my wife about this?


	7. House Guest (Bart)

**House Guest**

It was almost six o'clock when I faced the inevitable; I couldn't hide any longer. My wife would at least be expecting me to come home for supper, and I couldn't expect Jack to spend the night in the saloon. "About ready to go home?" I asked Jack as I put my stuff away. After Bret brought the food back, Jack had settled in on the settee and started looking at a book. I didn't know how well he could read yet or what the book was, but it seemed to keep him occupied.

"You mean to your house?" he asked as he tucked the book back into the smaller of his two bags.

"Yes."

"I suppose." He didn't sound enthused, but then he hadn't sounded enthused about anything today. "Is your wife gonna be there?"

I nodded "She will." I'd already told him about Doralice and the girls and I was praying Doralice's day had gone well and she would be in a good mood when we got there. For both our sakes. I figured that would make Jack feel better, and I just needed all the help I could get.

I'd finally decided the only thing to do was tell Doralice the truth about everything. She might think I was an idiot for a while, but she's a good woman. She would understand the dilemma I was in with Jack for tonight, and I was hoping Winters and I could reach some kind of understanding tomorrow. I just needed tonight to go well.

I led Jack out the same way we'd come in and once again I think we managed to dodge everyone. It was a short walk to the house, and Jack didn't say a word the whole time. He seemed to be a little more relaxed with me now than he had been earlier today, he'd stopped just sitting and staring at me, but he was still about the quietest child I'd ever met. I assumed he was just reserved, but it seemed strange to me that a boy was so . . . withdrawn.

"You'll like Doralice," I told him as I opened the front door. "She's a pretty good cook too." Jack just nodded.

I didn't see anyone when we stepped inside but judging from the smell coming out of the kitchen Doralice was getting supper ready. I didn't hear anyone either. I didn't know if that was good or bad. I nudged Jack forward and set his bag down. "Doralice?"

"Back here," I heard her call from the twins bedroom.

Blessedly she didn't sound frazzled or like she was about to cry. "Need any help?"

A moment later Doralice appeared, a smile on her face. "No. Would you believe they're both quiet for now?"

I couldn't describe the relief I felt at hearing that and seeing Doralice looking more like herself. "Where's Maude?"

"I sent her home about an hour ago." She came over and kissed me. "She's had to help out so much lately, and we're going to have to start doing this on our own sooner or later. Besides, they were both really good today. Even Maudie . . . ." Doralice stopped short when she saw Jack and gave me a questioning look. The look was replaced with a smile as she turned back to Jack. "Who's your friend, Bart? I didn't know you were bringing company home for supper." Having only met Buckley once, I was sure she wouldn't immediately notice Jack's strong resemblance to his father. I could only hope the smile would remain when she found out he could be with us a while.

Before I could answer, the kid who'd hardly spoken to me or anyone else unless it involved women's right to vote stepped forward. He took off his hat and looked up at Doralice with a grin. "I'm Jasper Roan Freemont-Buckley, ma'am. You must be Misses Maverick."

I think my mouth actually dropped open. Where had that charming little display come from? What happened to "I hate Jasper?" And where had that Freemont-Buckley come from? I saw Doralice's eyes cut back over to me and I knew the Buckley part of the name hadn't been lost on her.

"I am," she replied that smile still on her face.

"Jack's gonna be staying with us a few days," I interjected before Jack could start with anything. I was no longer certain he was as quiet and reserved as I first believed and I didn't want him going into any explanations.

The confusion that came to Doralice's face was probably identical to mine when Winters told me the same thing. I gave her a look that begged her not to say anything just yet. She nodded once, but that was followed by a look of her own; one that told me I'd better have a really good explanation for all this. Still, that smile never left and when she talked to Jack she was nothing but friendly and welcoming.

"Well, Jasper, why don't you come with me and you can get settled into your room before supper."

Jack didn't say anything about her calling him Jasper and just nodded. "Yes, ma'am. That would be nice."

Doralice held out her hand which Jack readily took. "Bart, will you bring Jasper's bag?" Doralice asked before they went down the hall together.

For a minute I just stared after them, not sure what to make of what I'd seen. The little boy that had been smiling at Doralice like there was no tomorrow was not the same kid that had been staring at me for the last couple of hours. Shaking my head in disbelief, I picked up Jack's things and took them into the spare room. On my way, I heard Doralice telling Jack about his room and I stopped short when I heard Jack speak. "Misses Maverick, ma'am?"

"Yes, Jasper."

"I know Jasper is my given name, but . . . well, I never really liked it. Do you think you could just call me Jack instead? Like my mama did."

Again, I was struck by the differences Jack was showing with Doralice. I got 'I hate it,' and she got "Misses Maverick, ma'am." Even though I couldn't see either one of them I could imagine the look on Doralice's face when she answered. "Of course, Jack, if that's what you want."

"Thank you, ma'am."

I rolled my eyes; this was getting more interesting by the minute. I walked into the room and sure enough, Doralice had that look on her face. The one that had always told me she would be a great mother. Again, I hoped she stayed in this good of a mood when she found out what was really going on.

"Here's your things, Jack," I said setting his bag down.

"Thank you."

"Why don't you put your things away and wash up some before supper," Doralice suggested.

Jack gave her that grin again. "Yes, ma'am."

My wife then turned to me. "Bart, will you help me finish up with supper?" With that, she started back to the kitchen.

I knew "help me" was really code for "we need to talk." I shut the door to Jack's room and hurried after her; by the time I caught up with her the smile was gone and there was the slightest bit of panic in her eyes.

"Bart, what is going on?"

I sighed "That." I said inclining my head towards the hallway. "Is Jim's . . . package."

"That's a child, Bart, not a package."

"I know." That probably came out a little snappier than I'd intended.

Doralice took a breath. "He said his name was Buckley, how is he tied to James?"

I managed not to roll my eyes at Doralice using Jim's given name. To my knowledge, only two other people call him that; his mother, and Jim himself when he's feeling particularly full of himself. "It's his son."

"I didn't know he had a son."

I snorted. "I don't think he did either. Until recently that is."

Doralice sat down at the table and sighed heavily. "Why is he here?"

That question alone was enough to tell me that my wife still wasn't back to her normal self. Surely she had some idea of what was going on. I sat down across from her. I was still clueless as to how to explain this. "It's like I told you, honey, he's gonna be staying with us a while. Until Jim gets back."

"You agreed to keep his child?"

I winced. "No. Well, yeah. But I didn't know I was agreeing to keep his child, I didn't know he had a child."

"Where did he come from?"

"His mother recently died. She was a woman Jim apparently knew several years ago. She told her lawyer that if anything happened to her, Jack was to be sent to his father. That's Jim."

"Where is James now?"

"He said St. Louis."

Doralice nodded. "Alright. How long will he be gone?"

I winced again. "I don't know."

"Can you get in touch with him?" I shook my head, feeling like an idiot. Doralice glanced down the hallway then back to me. "So we don't know where he is or how to get in touch with him and that little boy is supposed to stay here until James comes back? And we don't know when that might be?"

Doralice had figured this all out pretty quickly after all. I tried to give her a grin. "Yes, ma'am." My smile didn't have my desired effect, instead of looking relaxed, Doralice looked close to tears. "I'm not workin' tonight," I rushed to explain. "Bret's at the saloon and . . . ."

"Well, that's fine for tonight but what about afterward? Bart, Maudie cries almost all night and when she's finally asleep Belle wakes up. How am I supposed to . . . ."

I shushed her softly and reached across the table and took her hand. "Bret'll be around a while. He's already said he'll help with whatever he can. With him here I can be home more if I need to be, and I'm meeting with the lawyer tomorrow morning to find out if there's anything we can do about this. Maybe he's knows something about Jim I don't. We just thought it would be best if we could talk away from Jack."

Doralice seemed to get ahold of herself and nodded. "Okay."

I leaned over and kissed her forehead. "I'll take care of this. Trust me." All I got was another nod. "Come on, let's eat and maybe we can all get some sleep. We could all use it."

"She probably won't stay quiet long."

"Even if she doesn't I'll be here. We'll sleep in shifts if we have to." I smiled again, and this time got a weak one in return. I pushed up from the table and reached out a hand to her. She let me pull her to her feet and I wrapped her in a hug. "I'll take care of this. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Everything will be fine. Trust me?"

Doralice sighed, and I felt her relax into me as she nodded. "I do."

"Good." I kissed her head again. "Now let's get ready to eat before Jack gets out here."

Doralice nodded again and pulled away from me. As she started setting the table I sent up a silent prayer that I hadn't just lied to her.


	8. Now What? (Bart)

**Now What?**

I wasn't happy as I walked home after breakfast the next day. I had just spent my morning meal finding out there wasn't really anything I could do about Jack and his being at my house. I had options, just as the lawyer had said, but none I was willing to live with. I basically had two choices. One was to keep Jack and hope that Jim was actually going to do what he said he was. The other was simply refuse to keep him. If I decided to do the latter, Jack would be turned over to the proper authorities and they would try to find Jim. I'd already decided I couldn't bring myself to tell Jack he was going to be sent to a home; no kid deserves that. So I was going home to tell my wife that for all intents and purposes, we had another child. At least until I could find Jim, and I had to find him.

When I got back to the house, Doralice was cleaning up from breakfast. Bret was there, doubtless getting breakfast before heading home for some sleep, and holding one of the girls. Jack was at the table taking in the all the action around him with wide eyes. I felt sort of sorry for him; this was probably much more than he was used to, and last night certainly had been. Maudie had once again screamed all night and kept most of us from getting any sleep. Jack had gotten up during one of my shifts and asked if she was going to cry all night. When I'd told him yes, he'd just sighed and gone back to his room. He didn't look anymore at ease now than he had then.

"Morning," I greeted as I walked in. Bret and Doralice returned the greeting, Jack stared at me. I went over and kissed my wife. When I pulled back Doralice gave me a questioning look and I shook my head slightly. I needed to talk to her but, I thought it would be best if Jack wasn't around.

"Do we need to talk?" she asked softly.

I nodded. "Later."

She nodded and continued washing dishes. Meanwhile, I took my daughter away from my brother. "She's an angel," he said with a grin as he passed her over. "I just can't believe the things Y'all say about her."

"If only she was always this quiet," I said after confirming I had Maudie.

"Wasn't quiet last night," Jack muttered.

"No, she wasn't. They're still learning when its time to sleep and time to be awake."

"I tried explaining to Jack about colic this morning," Doralice added giving the boy a smile. "I'm afraid I didn't do very well."

I was surprised when Jack smiled back at my wife. "It don't make much sense."

"No, it doesn't," Doralice agreed.

Jack gave the baby I was holding a wary look before sighing again. He got up from his seat and went over to Doralice. He said something to her quietly and she nodded before he started drying the dishes she'd washed. There was a smile on his face again and I couldn't help but wonder at the difference between the boy when he was around me and when he was around Doralice.

"How were things at the saloon last night?" I questioned Bret as Jack and Doralice continued with the dishes.

He grinned. "More peaceful than things were here, from what Doralice says, but I didn't sleep last night either. So, if you don't need me for anything, I'm going to get some sleep too."

I looked down at my daughter who was sleeping so soundlessly and peacefully and envied Bret his night at Maude's and the sleep he was about to get. I wouldn't mind a nap myself. I shook my head. "No, go on home. And thanks for covering for me last night."

"No problem. I'll be there tonight too if you need me."

"I may have to call on you."

"Just let me know; I'll be there either way. See you later." He stood and kissed Doralice on the cheek. "See ya, Jack."

Jack jumped slightly when Bret spoke to him and offered a quiet goodbye. The smile was again gone, and I noticed he looked about as ill at ease with Bret as he did me. "Can I go to my room?" he asked Doralice when he finished what he was doing.

"Of course," Doralice told him. He gave me another look before heading off down the hall. "Poor boy," she said as she watched him go.

"What makes you say that?" I asked her.

She looked at me incredulously. "How can you not say that, Bart? He's been thrown into a strange house with strange people, and crying babies."

I looked down at my daughter and smiled. "He has my sympathy there. He seems to be dealing with it alright though."

"He doesn't have much choice, does he? It's just a pity he has to deal with it at all." I couldn't argue with that. "Come on," she said reaching for my hand. "Let's put Maudie in her cradle and then you can tell me what the lawyer said."

That was the last thing I wanted to do, but I let her lead me into the girl's room where Belle was already sleeping. I kissed Maudie before passing her over to Doralice and giving Belle a kiss.

"Should I talk fast?" I asked when we were in our own room.

Doralice laughed, but I could tell by looking at her she was worn out. She reached out to me as she sat on the bed. "You don't have to do that. She was up most of the night so I'm sure she'll sleep a couple hours at least. Long enough for us to get a nap in any way."

At the moment, nothing sounded as good as curling up with my wife for a while, even if it was only a little while. I took the hand she offered and let her pull me onto the bed. "How long has she been asleep?" I didn't really want to get comfortable only to have to jump up in ten minutes to tend to a screaming baby. She'd been fussy when I'd left earlier this morning but not screaming.

Doralice moved close to me and settled in with a sigh. "Not until Bret came in this morning."

I felt an unexpected pang at those words. What was it about my brother that could lull my daughter to sleep when nothing else could? Of course, she had been up all night, but it wasn't the first time Bret had managed to quiet her when nothing else could. I sighed both in contentment for just having my wife close to me, and general weariness.

"What's wrong?"

I shook my head. "Just . . . tired."

I felt her hand intertwine with mine. "Too tired to talk about the lawyer?"

"Physically? No. Mentally? Well . . . "

"It didn't go well, then."

"Not as well as I'd hoped. According to Winters, there isn't much we can do. Actually, there's nothing we can do."

"What do you mean nothing?"

I grimaced at the tone of her voice. I could tell she'd been hoping for more than that too. I rolled over on my back and stared at the ceiling. "I mean nothing. Winters gave me two options. We can keep him and wait for Jim to show back up, or we can turn him over to the state and let them deal with it."

"The state? You mean like a home?"

"According to Winters, he doesn't have the authority to keep Jack. Jim said he was to be turned over to me and unless Jim says otherwise me and the state are the only options."

Doralice rolled over so she was facing me again. "Does he know anything about James?"

I shook my head. "No. Jim told him what he told me. He had to be out of town and he'd be back."

"But no details?"

I shook my head feeling like an idiot. Why had I let Jim con me into this? Why hadn't I asked more questions or gotten more information? I was already having trouble trying to find a way to balance out my home, my family, and my job and now I had another child to consider. And what about my wife? Doralice was even more stretched out than I was, and now I was asking her to take this on too.

Doralice started fingering the buttons on my shirt. "Bart, are you thinking James isn't coming back?"

"No," I lied. Actually, it wasn't a lie. There may have been a lingering fear he wouldn't, but I wasn't totally convinced of it, not yet anyway. "Are you?" Doralice didn't answer. I sighed. "Alright, what did Bret say today?" Bret was the only one who could have put those thoughts in her head.

Doralice sort of smiled. "You know how Bret feels about him. I can't take anything he says about James too seriously."

"But?" I asked. Jim's always been charming to my wife. Roguish but charming, and I wanted to keep it that way.

"It does seem odd that he wouldn't tell anyone anything. This is his child, wouldn't he want to make sure he was taken care of?"

I sighed. "He did. He sent him here."

"Why do you think he did it?"

I sighed. That's what I had been asking myself all night. This was Jim's child, I had no doubt about that, but if he no intention of claiming him, why would he send for him? I couldn't see any benefit in having the kid sent to me. If Jim didn't want him, why not just refuse him. One look was enough to tell most anyone the boy was Jim's but was there any way someone could actually prove it? I didn't think so. Even if there was, was there a way a man could be forced to care for his child? The answer I came up with for that question was also no. "I don't know. I've been asking myself that all night."

"So what are you thinking we're gonna do?" she asked.

"I don't know that either. I'm not sure I can get in touch with Jim. I can try but . . . or I can tell Winters we can't . . . ."

"No," Doralice broke in. "We can't do that."

I faced her again. "I'm glad you said that. I don't really like this, but I couldn't tell that boy he had to go to a home. No kid deserves that."

"No, they don't. So what do we do?"

"First I have to find Jim. I'm not sure how I'm going to do that yet, but I have to find him. Until then, well . . . how do you feel about just doing the best we can?"

Doralice smiled. "I think we can do that."

"So we keep him until . . . ."

"Until we can think of something else, yes. But how about some sleep first?"

"Sounds good." I opened my arms to her and she willingly curled up in them.

"You know, he really is a sweet kid."

"Is he? He just stares at me."

Doralice laughed. "You just haven't spent enough time around him. He's actually a little charmer." She sighed and laid her head against my chest. "He reminds me a lot of James," she muttered sleepily.

That thought alone was almost enough to keep me from sleeping. Being exactly like Jim was what I was afraid of.


	9. Nobody's Perfect (Bart)

**Nobody's Perfect**

A crash pulled me out of my sleep. I sat up with a jolt, heart pounding and then the crying started. That I understood and stumbled out of bed trying to get my bearings. "What was . . . ."

"Maudie," Doralice broke in. "I'll see to her you go see what's going on in the kitchen."

It took me a few seconds, but as she ran past me my brain finally started working again and I rushed into the kitchen to see what had happened. I slid to a stop as I entered the room and found Jack standing by the table, broken glass all around him. He looked up as I entered, his eyes wide.

"What happened?" My tone was sharp and I knew it, but I was still trying to get over my rude awakening. My heart was only now starting to settle back into a normal rhythm and I wasn't in the mood to be cheery.

"Ummm, I . . . it broke."

"Spontaneously I suppose," I muttered as I walked around the table. The flowers strewn about told me the glass was from the vase Doralice normally kept on the table. I sighed. "What are you doing up anyway?"

Jack opened his mouth and shut it again quickly. He looked at me for a long moment before he finally answered. "It's daytime."

"I know it's daytime but weren't you . . . never mind. What happened?"

"It was an accident."

I nodded irritably. "But what happened?"

"I just wanted somethin' to drink."

"Fine, Jack, would you just tell me what happened?" Once again the words came out far more gruffly than they should have and if I hadn't realized that myself the look on Jack's face would have told me.

"I didn't mean to," he said softly.

I sighed again and told myself to be a little more gentle. It wasn't that big a deal the vase was broken, I just wanted to know why it was broken. "It's fine, just, please, tell me how it happened."

"I wanted a drink. Doralice told me where the glasses were but I couldn't reach them."

"And?"

"I climbed on the cabinet to get one."

I looked at the table and back to the glass. "But how did the vase break?"

Jack bit his lip. "I knocked it over. I didn't mean to."

"How did you knock it over?"

"When I climbed up on the hutch."

"The vase sits on the table, Jack."

"It wasn't."

I rubbed my eyes. Between Dandy's surprise, Maudie's colic, and Winters' news this morning, I'd just about reached the limit of my patience. "The vase wasn't that important, Jack, but I'd rather you not lie about it."

Jack's eyes flashed. "I'm not lyin'."

"If you were on the hutch how did you knock over the vase that was on the table?"

"It wasn't on the table."

"Alright, it wasn't on the table." That vase had sat on the table for almost as long as Doralice and I had been married, but I wasn't going to get sucked into a back and forth exchange with a six-year-old. "You can ask for help if you can't reach something."

"You were asleep," Jack protested an edge creeping into his voice as he shot me a less than friendly look.

"It's fine," I said. "We just . . . ." Before I could finish my thought, Jack took a step back and I heard glass crunch underneath his foot. "Watch it," I cried grabbing his arm and pulling him back towards me, and away from the broken glass.

Jack yanked his arm out of my grasp and jumped back. Not wanting him to get back in the middle of the glass I reached for him again only to stop short when I saw wide brown eyes staring up at me in fear. Guilt sliced through me as I jerked my hand back, horrified that I'd done something to scare him. "I don't want you getting hurt on the glass," I explained making every effort to soften my tone and sound as non-threatening as possible.

Jack bit his lip and finally nodded, but he still moved a few steps away from me. Thankfully it was away from the glass as well. "We need to clean it up," he said quietly.

I nodded. "Yes, we do. Can you get the broom? It's in the corner over there."

"That's what I was trying to get before," Jack said.

"Well, why don't you come around the table this way. I don't want you gettin' cut." Jack went to get the broom and I felt another little stab of guilt when I noticed he seemed to keep a close eye on me as he walked passed.

I was just starting to sweep up the glass when Doralice came in with one of the girls. "What happened in here?"

"I broke the vase," Jack said softly stepping over to Doralice's side. "I'm sorry, it was an accident."

"I'm sure it was," she replied. "Are you hurt?"

Jack silently shook his head.

"How did it happen?" she asked next.

I stopped sweeping and listened, eager to see what he told Doralice about the incident.

"I wanted a drink and was trying to get a cup. I knocked it over."

I waited for Doralice to ask the same question I had, only she didn't. She glanced at the table and then at the cabinet before she smiled at Jack. "It's nothing that can't be replaced."

I was surprised she hadn't pushed harder to find out the truth. I'd seen her looking back and forth between the table and hutch, she must have noticed something about his story wasn't adding up too, but if she was willing to accept what he said I wasn't going to kick up a fuss. I started sweeping again.

"He's mad at me," Jack stated flatly glancing over at me.

I paused again. "I'm not mad. I told you it wasn't anything special."

"He thinks I'm lying about what happened." Jack's tone was so pitiful that guilty feeling started to creep back in. A quick look at my wife only made that feeling intensify.

"I just said that I didn't understand how a vase that was on the table got broke if you were on the cabinet."

Jack gave Doralice a triumphant look as though I had just proven everything he claimed.

"The vase wasn't on the table, Bart," Doralice said softly. "I didn't put it back after breakfast this morning." She turned back to Jack. "I'm sure Bart didn't realize the vase wasn't where it belonged."

"Jack did mention that," I mumbled choosing not to push the issue any further.

"He grabbed me too," Jack added.

That I really did feel bad about. I hadn't meant to frighten him and I didn't want him thinking he needed to be afraid of me. "I'm sorry if I scared you, Jack. You stepped in the glass; I didn't want you to hurt yourself."

Doralice brushed his hair back. "Bart, wouldn't hurt you, sweetie." Jack didn't respond, but he did stop glaring at me in that accusatory way. "Did you ever get something to drink?" she asked.

Jack's reply was a shake of his head so Doralice poured him a cup of milk and sent him back to his room. Once we were alone she looked over to me. "You were a little hard on him, don't you think?"

I sighed. "I didn't mean to snap at him."

"I know you didn't, but I'm not sure Jack knows."

"He could have asked for help."

Doralice gave me a look. "You would have preferred for him to come in the room and wake you up. I don't believe that. And he doesn't have to ask for permission to have a drink."

"I didn't say that he did."

Doralice sighed. "I know." She gave me a weak smile. "I suppose we're both a little tense. I'm sorry."

I shrugged. "I suppose we are."

"Here," she said handing me my daughter. "You take her, and I'll finish cleaning this up."

I took my little girl, who was still fussing a bit and was surprised to see it was Isabelle. "Belle?"

Doralice smiled. "Can you believe Maudie actually slept through all that?"

I wearily sank into a chair and bounced Belle trying to get her to quiet down. It worked at first, but she soon started squirming and whining again. I lifted her up to my shoulder. "Come on, Belle, honey. What's wrong?" Naturally, she didn't answer and I was left to try and guess what she wanted.

I sat rocking and crooning to her and couldn't help but wonder if I was really cut out to be a father. I loved my girls more than I could say, but I was starting to think I was completely inept when it came to caring for infants. Having gotten some experience with Jack now, it seemed I wasn't much better at taking care of children. Did this ever get any easier? Maybe some people just aren't any good with kids.

"What was that?"

I jerked my head up, startled by Doralice's question. "What?"

Doralice was finishing up with the sweeping. "Did you say something?"

I wondered if my thoughts had come out audibly. I hoped not; I didn't want to get into all my doubts about fatherhood with Doralice right now. "Nothin'," I mumbled. "Just talkin' with Belle."

Doralice finished picking up the glass and put away the broom. She walked over behind me and slipped her arms around me. "Are you sure that's all you're doing?"

"Sure. What else would I be doing?"

Doralice straightened. She moved to sit beside me but kept her hand on my arm. "Bart, I know Jack is . . . unexpected but I don't think it's going to be an unbearable situation."

"I didn't say it was."

"No, but you've been very on edge since he came."

"I'm not on edge. I'm tired and I wasn't expecting to wake up to . . . ."

"I know, I know and I'm not fussing, Bart. I just want you to consider that this is just as new and unfamiliar to Jack as it is to us. I'm sure there will be some difficult times over the next few days, but it seems like his mother did a fine job of raising him. There's no reason we can't make this a pleasant time. After all, it's just temporary."

I looked at my wife and tried to match her smile. Temporary. We could only hope that was the case. Doralice might have some doubts concerning Dandy, but I knew overall she still thought him to be a charming rogue. As of yet, she didn't really believe there was a chance Jim wouldn't return for his son, and at the moment I couldn't bring myself to say any differently. "Sure."

Doralice leaned over and kissed me and Belle started crying in earnest again. "Why don't you let me have Belle and you go try to get some more sleep," Doralice said reaching for our daughter.

"What about your sleep?" I asked passing her over. As good as sleep sounded I felt like a heel leaving Doralice to take care of everything while I slept.

"Well, I've decided to take some of Maude's advice and sleep when they sleep. No matter when that is. And as good a daddy as you are, there are some things daddies just can't take care of. I think Belle's immediate need happens to be one of those."

"I'm sorry I can't help," I told her as she unbuttoned her top.

"I doubt you're too broken hearted about not helping with this," she replied with a smirk as she lifted Belle to her breast.

I was finally able to smile genuinely. "You know what I mean."

"Yes, I do. But there's nothing you can do now, so why don't you go back to bed?"

"Join me later?" It was probably wishful thinking but a man can dream.

She nodded. "If I can."

I kissed her then kissed the top of Belle's head before heading back to the bedroom. I paused at Jack's door and started to knock, but pulled my hand back at the last second. Instead, I leaned my ear against the door and tried to hear what was going on inside the room. I didn't hear a sound and wondered if Jack was sleeping or maybe reading again. I finally decided not to disturb him. Everything was quiet so why not leave it that way? Blowing out a breath I went back to my own room and hoped my wife would be along shortly.

It was almost fifteen minutes later that Doralice did join me and I was still awake. "Can you stay?" I asked.

She smiled as she laid down beside me. "For now. Maudie is still sleeping like a rock and Belle has joined her again."

"Why can't she sleep like a rock at night?"

"Too much like her daddy I suppose."

"If I ever screamed like that, Pappy never told me about it."

"It's temporary."

There was that word again. I hoped and prayed Doralice was right about Jack and colic. And speaking of Jack, I needed some advice from my wife. Ever since I came back to bed, my thoughts had been filled with the boy. The look of fear that had been on his face when I grabbed him, him telling Doralice I thought he'd lied to me, Doralice saying I'd been too hard on him. I was afraid she was right and I had been too hard on him; I hadn't meant to be, but I couldn't forget the look he'd given me when I'd grabbed him. Had he really thought I would hurt him?

"Doralice," I said sighing heavily. "I want to ask you something."

"What?" she asked moving up against me.

"Was I really too hard on Jack?"

Doralice seemed to think about her words before she spoke. "I think you were too sharp with him. I didn't hear everything that was said, but I did hear your tone. I know it was just surprise, and you were frustrated, but yes, I think you could have handled it better."

"I can't do anything right with him. In my office yesterday he spoke to me one time like a normal kid, all the rest of the time he just stares and looks at me like I'm about to attack him. When I grabbed him, it didn't enter my mind to hurt him."

"Bart." Doralice rolled over so she was facing me. "You don't have to explain that to me. I know you would never hurt a child like that."

"And I didn't call him a liar," I told her feeling the sudden need to defend myself. "Well, not really."

"What was that about?"

"Something stupid," I huffed. "I just wanted him to tell me how the vase got broken if it was on the table. I didn't . . . ."

"You didn't think he was being honest about where the vase was?" Doralice was sort of giving me a look, and I'll admit, she was doing a good job of making me feel bad about what had happened.

"Okay, maybe I didn't think he was being honest."

"Did he give you a reason to make you think he was lying?"

"He just stares at me; if he would just give me a straight answer about something . . . ." I groaned and dropped my head on Doralice's shoulder. I'd messed up and I knew it. "Alright," I said lifting my head back up. "I was a jackass. I'm sorry."

Doralice stroked my cheek with her finger. "I don't know if I'd go so far as to say that, but I think he's the one you need to apologize to."

I nodded. "I know."

"I told you, Bart, I don't want you to feel like I'm fussing at you because I'm not, but just try to remember that the last couple of weeks have probably been as strange and hard for him as they have for us. He's just a little boy, and I'm sure he's scared."

"And I'm not helping to make him any less afraid."

"I didn't say that," Doralice said giving me a quick kiss. "You're a good man, and a good father, but you do make mistakes like any other person. Just apologize to Jack later, and I think it'll help a lot."

I nodded again and pulled her in close to me. "I just want to do this right," I told her although I wasn't sure if I meant Jack or just dealing with children in general. At the moment I didn't feel like I was capable of either one.

Doralice snuggled into me. "You're doing just fine."

I wrapped my arms around my wife as I closed my eyes. So many times I'd thought this woman was far more than I deserved, and I couldn't help but feel that again. The last few weeks had been hard on her I knew, but even on those days she'd almost had all she could take, she was still such an amazing mother to our girls, and now she seemed to handle Jack with an ease that was so far beyond me I didn't even know how to begin trying to reach the boy. When it came to being a parent, I just prayed that one day I could do half as well as Doralice. Until then, I'd take one day at a time and hope it was enough.


	10. Questions and Peas (Bart)

**Questions and Peas**

I was alone when I woke again, and it was sometime in the afternoon. I got out of bed and cleaned up some with the intention of going to Maude's for a while and getting some work done. My mother-in-law has been very understanding of my rather erratic schedule lately, but I still felt like I needed to do something to pull my weight at the business I was part owner of. Even if I took some time off from working the floor, there was plenty of paperwork to keep me busy for a few hours.

After I shaved and dressed, I went into the kitchen where I found Doralice shelling peas. Jack was helping her, and the twins were playing on a pallet on the floor. Well, they were playing as much as infants their age could play. One was chewing on the edge of a blanket, and the other was watching Doralice. Doralice was talking to both of them as she worked, explaining the whole process of growing and shelling peas in a cheery tone. I smiled taking in the scene before me. It was the times like this that made all the sleepless nights and all the struggles worth it; I would need to remember this tonight when Maudie started screaming.

"Afternoon," I called stepping into the room.

Doralice looked up from her work. "Well, look who decided to join the land of the living," she said with a smile.

"What are y'all up to?" I asked after I gave her a kiss.

"Getting peas ready for supper. Jack's been a great help this afternoon."

"Really?"

"I've never got to shell peas before," Jack said quietly.

I sat down across from him and picked one of the peas. "I used to have to do this every summer."

I remembered all too well the days me, Bret, and Beau were conscripted into shelling what seemed to be an endless supply of peas by Uncle Ben's housekeeper. It was always fun for about thirty minutes, then we would spend the rest of the season trying to dodge the dreaded task. We usually weren't too successful.

"I'm sure Doralice appreciates your help," I told him deciding not to tell him it would lose its appeal rather quickly. He'd figure it out soon enough. Jack sort of shrugged in reply.

I was trying to do as Doralice had suggested and be gentle and welcoming, hoping to convince him I wasn't a complete ogre. Well, after the shrug I almost got a smile out of him, but as soon as his eyes met mine all traces of it vanished, and the bowl of peas in front of him got his full attention again. I shot Doralice an I-told-you-so look and went to get a cup of coffee. My wife gave me an encouraging nod just the same. Maybe she thought that was progress, but to me, it didn't seem any different than what I had been getting.

"Going to Maude's?" Doralice asked noticing I was dressed to go out.

"As soon as I finish this," I replied holding up my coffee. "I want to get some paperwork done. I'll be back home for supper."

"Are you going in tonight?"

Unless I was mistaken, I heard a note of distress in Doralice's voice. I couldn't blame her; despite her positive attitude when we'd talked earlier she was still worn out, and I could imagine the idea of being left with three children, two who were still very needy, was overwhelming. "No. Bret offered to cover for me if I needed him and I plan on taking him up on it, so I'll be around to help with Maudie if you need me."

I saw some of the stress leave Doralice's eyes. "I'll need you."

I meant to leave when I finished up with my coffee but before I did Belle got fussy and it didn't take Doralice long to surmise that she was in need of a fresh diaper. "Can you keep an eye on Maudie while I get her changed?" Doralice asked picking up our youngest.

I was only too happy to take up what I considered to be the easier of the two tasks and sat on the floor by Maudie as Doralice took Belle back into the nursery. I picked our other daughter up, the blanket she'd been sucking on coming up with her. "Hey, sweetie." Her answer was a grunt, and she blew out a few spit bubbles before she discovered the blanket was still in her fist. She seemed to study it a moment before both the blanket and the fist were shoved into her mouth again. "Is that good?" I asked smiling as she seemed to focus all her energy on to gnawing that blanket.

I continued to talk to Maude but watched Jack out of the corner of my eye. He looked a little lost now that Doralice was gone and I was guessing that after this morning he probably wasn't too keen on being left alone with me. I hated that. I didn't want him feeling like he couldn't move or speak in my presence. He'd been withdrawn before, but I'd seen enough of his interaction with Doralice to know he wasn't just shy. Doralice was right; I did need to square things with him. Maybe an apology would at least keep him from looking like I was about to beat him, anyway.

I took a breath and once again reminded myself to keep things nice and easy, he was just a kid. "Hey, Jack."

He jumped at my voice then turned to me warily. "Yes, sir."

I smiled. "I think I owe you a proper apology."

He suddenly went from wary to curious. "You do?"

"I scared you today; I'm sorry. I'm also sorry I didn't believe you about the vase the first time you told me about it."

Another one of those half shrugs. "I'm sorry I broke it."

I nodded. "I know. I was tired and cranky before and I made a mistake because of it, but I believe you. We can replace the vase easily enough."

"I was tryin' to be quiet. I didn't mean to wake you or the baby up."

"It's alright, even if I didn't act like it before, accidents happen. I just want you to know you don't have to be afraid of anything bad happening to you while you're here. Okay?"

Jack seemed to consider that and regarded me for a long while with those dark eyes of his. He finally nodded. "Okay."

I got to my feet and went over to the table hoping he would be comfortable enough to have me that close. I saw him go on the alert, but it wasn't as bad as before. I felt like I was approaching a skittish colt as I sat down across from him. "Jack, I don't want you to feel like you have to have permission to do something like getting a drink, but I do want you to know that if you need help with anything you can ask. Me and Doralice will be happy to help you."

Jack nodded again. "Okay."

"I want you to feel like this is your home as long as you're here."

Jack looked like he was about to say something but stopped short. Instead, he stared at me for a while before he went back to shelling his peas. I couldn't think of anything else to say, so I turned my attention back to Maudie. She was still engrossed in her blanket so I tried to help with the peas. I soon discovered shelling peas one-handed was no easy task. I could have put Maudie back down, of course, but I didn't get much time with her when she was happy like this and I knew I'd be leaving soon, so I decided to give up on peas and enjoy her.

A minute or so went by, and then I heard Jack quietly say my name. I would say I was surprised but actually stunned would be a better word, and it took a second for me to answer. "Yes?"

Jack pushed the bowl that had been in front of him away and looked up at me. "When's my daddy comin' to get me?"

I wasn't expecting that and didn't know how to answer. "Umm, I'm – I'm not sure, Jack. Mister Winters didn't tell me that. He's taking care of some business in another town."

"And he's coming to get me when he's done?"

"Yes." I desperately hoped I wasn't lying to him even as I said it.

"What town?"

"He told me St. Louis."

"Is St. Louis very far?"

"It takes a few days to get there."

Jack dropped his eyes to the tabletop and he started tracing the wood grain patterns with his finger just like he had with my desk yesterday. "What kind of business?"

"I don't know, Jack. He – he didn't tell me."

He looked up again. "You're friends with him, right?"

That question threw me off just a bit. Jim had come to me for help, and Jack's presence here was a testament to the fact I'd been willing to give it. Even if there was some remaining tension between us due to that saloon business a couple of years ago, I guess Dandy was still a friend. I still thought of him as one anyway, I hoped he still thought of me as one. "Yeah, I am."

"So what does . . . . " Jack stopped talking when Doralice came back into the room, and I've never been so happy to see someone. I felt like I was being backed into a corner with all of Jack's questions. I had no way of telling him the things he wanted to know, or the ability to explain why I couldn't give him answers. Like the cowered I've always claimed to be, I decided to get out while I was still ahead and jumped up to meet Doralice.

"Well, my girl looks much happier now," I said.

"She ought to be," Doralice told me. "She's clean, dry, and full."

"Good. You'll be all right for a while?" I wanted to make sure I wasn't running off when Doralice needed me.

She nodded. "Yes, go on. I'll see you at supper."

I kissed both her and Belle, then Maudie as I put her back on the pallet. "'I'll see y'all in a bit." Before I walked out the door I patted Jack on the shoulder. "Bye, Jack."

The reply I got was still mumbled and barely loud enough to hear but he didn't flinch back when I touched him, so maybe I was making progress after all.

I took my time walking to the saloon enjoying being outside. I wouldn't take anything for the changes that had come to the Maverick house this summer, but there had been no small amount of stress since the girls were born, especially the last twenty-four hours. It was nice just to have a few minutes outside to myself. Of course, the walk from the house to Maude's isn't that long, and I was at my destination almost before I knew it. Truth be told, when I did arrive at Maude's I didn't really want to go inside, but I reminded myself I had responsibilities to the saloon and to my mother-in-law. Like it or not, there was work I needed to do. Sighing, I pushed through the batwing doors into my home away from home.

Afternoon's at Maude's are never really busy, and today was no exception, but there is always someone around. A handful of men were scattered around the barroom and Little Bend being the town it is I knew most of them. A few said hello and a couple asked about Doralice and the girls and I exchanged the obligatory pleasantries with them before going over to the bar. Willie was tending and I let it be known that I was there and would be around if I was needed, but I would be in my office and would rather not be disturbed if it wasn't absolutely necessary.

"Sure thing, boss," he answered with a smile. "Want a pot of coffee?"

I thought about the paperwork that was waiting for me and decided that wasn't a bad idea. Not that I ever think coffee is a bad idea. "Sound great, Willie, thanks."

Willie said he'd bring it back as soon as it was ready and I went to get started on the mundane task of bookkeeping. Despite my best intentions, however, I'd no sooner sat down than my mind started to wonder. I caught sight of the settee out of the corner of my eye, and I couldn't help but think about the boy that had sat there yesterday, more specifically the questions he'd been peppering me with earlier. He'd been here a day and the questions were already coming; I could only assume more would follow, especially when his father didn't show up in a timely manner. Granted, I wasn't sure that would be the case but given this was Jim, and given that he'd snookered me into this whole thing to begin with, I wasn't hopeful he would be turning up in the next couple of days. But how was I supposed to explain that to Jack?

It was obvious from Jack's questions that Winters had told him his father was coming for him, but beyond that what did Jack knew about Jim? Did he know anything? I couldn't see myself telling the boy his father had a tendency to be selfish and had a real penchant for lying. I certainly couldn't tell him that Jim Buckley was one of the last people on earth I could imagine rising a child. However, I couldn't lie to him either. But what if Jim really didn't have any intention of coming back? That thought alone was enough to nearly send me into a panic, but I kept reminding myself that I had no reason to think that would be the case. No reason except the fact I was dealing with Dandy Jim that is.

I sighed and dropped my head onto my desk with a groan. Why hadn't I tried to get more information out of Jim? Why had I not noticed Jim was being vague with the answers he was giving? Well, I probably knew the answer to that. I'd been so concerned with whether or not what Jim was asking me to do was legal I hadn't given much thought to anything else, and honestly who would have ever thought Jim's package would be a child? One thing I guess I could take comfort in was the fact that this was all legal. I guess one could say him telling the truth about that was proof that he was telling the truth about coming back too. Or not; Jim's pretty sneaky. None of that was helping me figure out how to address the questions I knew would, sooner or later, come my way again.

I was brought back to the present by the knock on my door and Willie bringing in my coffee. I thanked him as he put the tray down and then sighed as he walked back out. Forcing all thoughts of Jack, the girls, and Dandy Jim from my mind I turned to my books determined I would get something done, and surprisingly, I did. By the time I was ready to head home I was actually pleased with what I'd managed to get done and knew I wouldn't feel any guilt about not being here tonight. Putting on my jacket and hat, I got ready to go home and enjoy a meal with my family, and face whatever the two youngest Mavericks would throw at us tonight.


	11. Reflections (Jim)

**Reflections**

That letter, that blasted letter was still burning a hole in my pocket, and I wished more than anything I could just throw it in a fire and forget all the information I'd read in it. On more than one occasion I'd started to do just that, but something always stopped me and I'd just end up reading it again. I finally learned to stop pulling it out altogether; out of sight, out of mind and all that. I wasn't successful in driving all the thoughts of it from my mind, but not looking at it did help me not to think about it every waking moment. Only every other moment.

Even after all this time I was still stunned by what I'd learned in that letter. Lenora had a child, a child fathered by me. The revelation hadn't been expected or welcome and I still had trouble believing it had happened. Not that I'm so dense I don't realize how it happened, I'm merely stunned that it did. After all, Lenora wasn't the only woman I've shared a bed with, but none of my other dalliances have resulted in a child. Not to my knowledge anyway and I'm certainly not making plans to explore the issue. The boy in question was causing me enough turmoil as it was.

Ah, the boy. Lenora called him Jasper in her letter, but in my mind, I was finding it easier to simply think of him as the boy. Lenora claimed she conceived him during our time together and after reading through her letter just once I found it was a claim I was unable to deny. That fact alone was enough to disturb me. When have I ever had an issue with denying anything? I vividly recall standing in front of many professors and headmasters and looking them square in the eye while I lied through my teeth. And I'm no stranger to shady dealings either. So why, when faced with the choice of admitting to something that would alter my entire life or simply denying everything, had I admitted I was the boy's father? That was the question I had asked myself countless times since that fateful letter arrived, and I still had no answer for it.

Another question kept running through my head as well, but that was easy for me to answer. Why had I gone to Bart Maverick for help? Well, I may not yet know what had prompted me to tell Winters the boy was mine, but the fact was, I had claimed him. Another inescapable fact that went hand in hand with that one was I am in no way prepared or qualified to take care of a child of any age, much less one as young as Lenora's boy. However, Winters had needed a quick reply to his letter so when I'd made the rather irrational decision to tell Winters to go ahead and send the boy to me, I'd done the only thing that made any sense. I informed Winters I accepted the boy and then had him sent to the only man I knew I could trust; Bart Maverick.

By this time I was sure Bart was aware I hadn't been totally honest about what I'd asked him to do for me, but I knew he wouldn't be too taken aback by that. I was just as certain that even if the situation was more complex than he'd guessed, he would do precisely what he said he would. Doubtless, he'll have something to say about all this when we finally meet again, and this might very well be the thing that will erase any feelings of forgiveness he has for that whole saloon debacle, but what other choice did I have? I needed time to sort things out, to think the situation through and decide just what I was going to do about this bizarre inheritance I'd been given.

Knowing the boy was at least safe allowed me to turn my mind to other matters, namely where I went from here. Never before had I once imagined I would find myself in a position like this, and yet here I was. It was hard enough to come to terms with the fact I'd fathered a child to begin with, much less that I'd agreed to take over guardianship of him. Had I simply received word from Winters about the matter, perhaps I could have forgotten the whole thing, denied I had anything to do with the boy's birth, and tossed the letter out without a thought. In fact, I was sure I could have done that, and Lenora probably knew that too. I'm sure that's why she hadn't left the matter solely to Winters but instead, penned her own letter. It wasn't Winters I couldn't resist, it was Lenora.

I know most people would say I loved Lenora or some such nonsense, but that wasn't true. Oh, I certainly had a fondness for her, perhaps even more than I normally possess for a lady, but there was nothing as dramatic as love in our relationship. Lenora and I were two consenting adults, and we'd both received a great deal of enjoyment from our time together. When the time came to part ways, it was a mutual agreement, and we'd gone our separate ways with no regrets and fond memories. By saying all that I don't mean to imply Lenora was just another woman, she certainly wasn't; she was exciting and passionate and unlike any woman I've known before or since. As I said, I enjoyed my time with her, but I refuse to say I loved her. Still, when she'd written a personal letter to me specifically asking that I claim guardianship of her son, I'd been unable to refuse. She always was a compelling woman.

Whatever the reason was, the fact remained that I'd agreed to do it, and now I was left wondering what to do with the boy. Why Lenora made such an outlandish request, I'll never know. She'd said she didn't want the boy in a home, and I could understand that, but had there been no one more capable, more responsible, than me to send him to? Maybe I'd fathered the boy, but I'd never once laid eyes on him, I hadn't even known of his existence until that letter arrived. Was there no one in Lenora's life willing or able to see after him? Lenora knew me, the way I lived, the way I moved around; the way I did business. Truth be told I do well to see after myself, how on earth am I supposed to see after a child? Funny, I've always thought of Lenora as being a particularly intelligent woman, but father or not, what woman would want her child left with me?

There were too many questions I couldn't answer and didn't know if I ever would, but still, the most important one was, what did I do next? The boy was safely with Bart and his lovely wife by now, and it was tempting to leave him there. More than once I'd thought of just sending Bart a healthy amount of money and a letter of apology, and then running as far away as I could with no intention of ever looking back, ever meeting the boy, or ever seeing Bart again for any reason at all. It was a good plan but I was unable, much to my dismay, to follow through with it. Even the best of us can fall prey to a bout of decency every now and again, and Bart always seems to be involved when mine come upon me. Maybe it was because of that saloon business before. Maybe it was because even I couldn't justify Bart being responsible for the lad for the next fifteen years. Maybe I just didn't want to burn my very last bridge with Bart. Maybe it was . . . no. There were many reasons I could think of for running being a terrible idea, but me not being able to leave without the boy wasn't one of them. Even if he'd come from my loins, he meant nothing to me outside of the fact he was so important to Lenora.

I sighed as I aimlessly rode down the road. The situation was no clearer to me now than it had been before. For literally days now I'd been on the road going through all this and no matter how many times I went over the same problems I couldn't find a solution. And I had to come up with some kind of solution. Bart's a generous man, but even he would only keep the boy for so long before he started looking for an out too, or rather looking for me. He's a good enough man that he might give me the benefit of the doubt and let things lie for a few days, but if he doesn't hear from me soon, the search will start and I won't fault him when he does come looking for me. I certainly wouldn't keep another man's child and family is far too important to Bart for him not to be filled with ideas about needing to take responsibility for the boy and all that. I'm afraid he is going to be out of luck if he looks in Saint Louis, however. I still haven't made it there, and frankly, I wasn't sure I would.

I hadn't intentionally misled Bart when I told him Saint Louis; when I left Little Bend, that's exactly where I'd planned to go. Saint Louis is a wonderful town and a good place to get lost in, I figured I could spend time there unencumbered and sort out just what I was going to do with the changes I'd accepted into my life. However, the further north I went the more unsettled I became and the more Saint Louis begin to lose its appeal. I was now just outside of a town called Henderson in Arkansas, and for some unexplainable reason, I found myself unwilling to continue on to my chosen destination. I'd been dragging my feet about getting there as it was and now I was thinking I needed to abandon the idea altogether.

"How would you like a rest, my friend?" I asked my horse patting his neck. "Surely this place has a livery for you and a hotel for me."

Our pace had been so leisurely that I didn't think either one of us was in that much need of rest, but it was as good an excuse as any to stop for a few days. I was hoping the town would have some decent accommodations for me, but regardless of what I found there, I planned on finding myself a room and a bottle of whiskey. I would either find a solution to this mess or forget about it completely.


	12. Poker Lesson (Bart)

**Poker Lessons**

"I told you didn't have anything to worry about." The admonishment came from Doralice and was accompanied with a knowing look.

"The day's not over yet," I said pulling several cups out of the cupboard for coffee.

The last few days had gone smoothly, suspiciously so. Jack was still a little distant, but he wasn't as jumpy as he'd been before. He still seemed to prefer Doralice's company to anyone else's, but he'd stopped staring at me like I was about to do something to him. Maudie seemed to improve too. She still cried, but the bouts only lasted three or four hours instead of the majority of the night. It was a testament to how crazy my life had become that I considered a child speaking to me in mumbled words and listening to the screams of an infant for a mere three hours a night as a suspiciously good improvement. That's the way it was though, and frankly, I was waiting for the other shoe to fall. Things just seemed to have gotten too easy over the last few days.

"What are you so worried about?"

"Pappy. And Jack." I was edgy, I'll admit it, and I was hoping those two names would clarify the reason for my nerves to my wife. If the look she gave me was any indication, it didn't.

"I know that," she said as she worked on getting a pot of coffee brewed. "But I don't understand what that has to do with anything."

We'd made it to another Sunday and me and Doralice were in the kitchen getting coffee and cake ready for the family that had poured into the house not long ago for their weekly visit. The Sunday visits had been an almost weekly occurrence since we'd gotten married. Sometimes we'd go out to Uncle Ben's and sometimes everyone came into town; since the girls were born it's been easier for our house to become the meeting place. I've always enjoyed these Sunday visits, but I particularly appreciated them now that the girls were here. Having grandparents and uncles around most of the day gave mama and daddy a nice break. For a few hours, Doralice and I didn't have to see to the girls' every little need, and it was a break we took full advantage of.

By now the whole family knew about Jack and the circumstances that had brought him to Little Bend. Of course, Maude had met Jack days ago and she'd immediately responded to him much the same way Doralice had. It was a maternal thing I guess. As for Jack, he'd taken to her almost as quickly as he had my wife. Today was his first meeting with Pappy, however and, yes, I had been and still was a little nervous about it. I wasn't concerned that Pappy would do anything specifically, but Pappy doesn't have a reputation for being the most gentle or tactful of men. As edgy as Jack still was around me, I was afraid Pappy would be overwhelming for him. So far things had gone alright, but as I'd told Doralice the day wasn't over.

I was concerned for me too. I knew that over the last few days Pappy and Uncle Ben would have pried the whole story out of Bret, and Bret would have doubtless told it complete with his bias against Dandy. Pappy's only met Jim a few times and his opinion of him isn't the best. I've tried, over the years, to tell him about all the times I've ended up owing Jim, but I think Bret has more stories to tell than I do. As a result, Pappy tends to lean to Bret's way of thinking. I figured before the day was over Pappy would have an earful for me as to how I'd gotten in this mess to begin with. Even if I was over thirty, the idea of having to endure a lecture from Pappy made me antsy.

"You don't think he's gonna have something to say about this?" I said in response to her earlier question. Things had gone so smoothly I couldn't help but feel something was about to blow up in my face, and Pappy seemed to be the perfect explosive.

Doralice gave me a funny look. "Why would he? And what can he say? It's not Jack's fault he's here."

"I know that but . . . ." I stopped.

"But what?"

I shrugged. "Don't you think I should have found out a little more about this 'package' of Jim's before I agreed to this?"

Doralice walked over and put her arms around me. "Maybe. But who would have thought that the 'package' was a child? I think you're being too hard on yourself."

"Maybe so."

"Definitely so. Now relax. Your father doesn't actually have claws, and he loves children. You've seen him with the girls."

"Yes, but I also know how he feels about Jim. I don't think he's gonna be too happy about this particular con."

Doralice shook her head. "You're worrying too much. He seems to be getting on just fine with Jack. Besides, this isn't a con."

She had a point. Whatever Jim's intentions were with sending Jack here and dropping out of sight, it seemed too far-fetched to be a con. I could think of no reason for a con like this, or any reason for Jim to con me at all. Plus I didn't think even Dandy would stoop so low as to use a child like that. It would be nice to know what was going on in his mind though.

"You know, sometimes I think you're too good to me."

"You're right," she replied with a giggle. "But I don't mind."

I dropped my head to her shoulder with a groan. "You know I really didn't mean to get us another kid."

"You didn't get us another kid." She pushed my head back up and gave me a quick kiss. "This is only temporary. Remember?"

I gave the best smile I could. "Sure." I was still hoping she was right, but I was starting to wonder. I hadn't said anything to Doralice, but I was getting a little nervous about the silence Jim had maintained since taking off a few weeks ago. I'd sent telegrams, complete with Jim's description, to a few of the nicer hotels in St. Louis trying to find out where he was staying. So far I hadn't received any positive news. No one with Jim's name or matching his description had been seen. It was hardly an exhaustive search, but it wasn't very promising either.

Doralice stepped out of my embrace. "Come on. They'll be wondering where we are." Picking up the tray with the cake and plates on it she started back to the sitting room and I followed with the coffee. Everyone was exactly as we'd left them a few moments ago. Maude and Bret had the girls, and for once they didn't have to fight Pappy or Ben off of either one of them. Pappy had properly carried on when he'd first arrived, but he and Ben had since taken up playing poker . . . with Jack.

The boy might have been withdrawn with me and Bret, but he didn't seem to have that problem with Pappy or Ben. He'd been as hesitant as ever when he'd been first introduced to the elder Mavericks, but the smiles had started when Pappy and Ben began calling him Master Buckley and things had only improved from there on out. When the offer of poker came up, Jack had jumped on it. He was now engaged in a game, him and Pappy against Ben, and he seemed to be doing pretty good at it. He was learning from the best of course.

"Y'all gonna stop for cake?" I asked when none of them looked up from their game.

"As soon as we beat Bentley," Pappy said casually making Jack laugh.

I wasn't sure whose behavior I was more surprised by, Pappy's or Jack's. Pappy was acting like a big kid himself and I'd never seen Jack as relaxed as he was now. I should have been grateful Pappy was behaving himself so well, and I guess I should have been thankful Jack was enjoying himself, but honestly, I was a little jealous over the whole thing. I couldn't help but envy Pappy his interaction with Jack. I could barely get the boy to string two sentences together when he talked to me, but someone who didn't know better would think Jack was one of Pappy's own. I wondered how he did it.

Doralice passed out the cake and just like Pappy said, as soon as he and Jack did beat Uncle Ben, the three of them joined us, and Pappy made sure Jack was settled in with a huge piece of cake and a glass of milk. Jack's eyes widened slightly as Pappy passed the cake over and proceeded to dig into it as though he hadn't eaten all day.

"I'd forgotten how boys could eat," Ben commented watching Jack with a smile.

"You haven't watched Bret eat lately, have you?" I asked.

Bret shot me a look before he balled up his napkin and threw it at me.

"Now, boys, behave," Doralice said in mock seriousness. "I'll not have my girls thinking it's acceptable to play ball in the house."

Bret and I looked at each other before we both turned to Doralice. "Yes, ma'am," Bret said as serious as he could be.

"We're very sorry," I added.

Doralice rolled her eyes. "Have they always been like this?" she asked Pappy.

"I'm afraid so," he told her. He looked back over at Jack who had just put his last bit of cake in his mouth. "You polished that off pretty quick."

Jack smiled sort of sheepishly. "It was really good," he told Doralice.

"I'm glad you liked it."

"How 'bout another piece?" Pappy asked.

Jack grinned. "Yes, sir."

"Is that really necessary?" I asked as Pappy started cutting Jack another piece.

Pappy shot me a look. "He's a growing boy, Bartley."

"Of course he is," I mumbled knowing that was a fight I had no hope of winning.

Jack ate his second piece of cake a little slower, and after he finished he, Pappy, and Ben went back to poker while the rest of us moved the conversation on to other topics including the girls, Maude's, and some of the local gossip. After about half-an-hour or so, Maudie started fussing. Doralice thought our girl was getting hungry and took her back to the nursery to feed her. Maude followed with Belle thinking the odds of our other daughter deciding she also needed to eat were high.

With the women gone and Pappy and Ben engaged with their newest poker buddy, I decided now would be a good time to talk to Bret alone. "Want to go out for a smoke?" I asked him as I stood.

Whether Bret really wanted a smoke or he just sensed I wanted to talk I didn't know, but he followed me out to the porch. "What's going on?" Bret asked once we were seated in the rockers with cigars.

"Dandy," I commented dryly.

"Dandy?"

"Yeah."

Bret sighed. "What's he done now?"

"Oh, nothin' new but . . . ." I sighed and tried to figure out how to voice my concerns without getting Bret worked up. "Honestly, Bret, I'm startin' to get a little nervous about this situation with Jack."

"Jack? What do you mean nervous?"

"I've sent some telegrams out to St. Louis; you know to see if I could find out where Dandy's stayin'. I haven't heard anything positive from any of them. I'm startin' to think he's not there."

"Does that surprise you?"

I wanted to be upset by the question, but in all fairness, I couldn't. Bret had a point. Was I really surprised? The answer was no. As much as I didn't want to think that, if I was honest that would be my answer.

"I figure if he wanted you to know where he was he would have told you," Bret continued. "I guess this means you have no idea when's he's comin' back?"

"Do you think he is comin' back?"

Bret looked over at me, clearly surprised. "You don't?"

"Does that surprise you?"

"Comin' from you, yeah. I mean, that sounds like me, but you were so sure this was all above board. You've changed your mind?"

I got up from my rocker and leaned against the porch rail. "I don't know."

"You're afraid he means to leave Jack here. Permanently, I mean."

"Yeah," I said softly finally admitting out loud what I'd been thinking for days. "But what would be his reason? Why send him to me if he didn't want him?"

Bret scoffed. "It's Dandy, Bart. He wouldn't need much of a reason."

"This is a child we're talkin' about, not some scheme."

"Exactly. Can you imagine him with a child?" I think he actually shuddered a bit.

I smiled ruefully. "No, I can't, and this whole situation is bizarre, but I can't see him stooping so low as to abandon a child like this. There's no reason for him to." Bret looked confused so I did my best to explain the jumble of thought that had been running endlessly through my head the last few days. "The lawyer said Jim never questioned the claim he was Jack's father. If he didn't want him, wouldn't it have been easier just to deny him and forget about it? Could it really be proven Jack belongs to Jim?"

Bret shrugged. "He looks just like him. Poor kid."

"But is that enough? Is there really a way anyone can make a man take care of a child?"

Bret seemed to think about that. "I guess you have a point," he finally said. "But this is Dandy. He's never cared about anybody but himself, and I've never known him to do anything that didn't benefit Dandy first and foremost. You ever wondered how he might use Jack to his advantage?"

"Yes, but I haven't come up with anything. And maybe it's not about that at all. Maybe Jim wanted him because . . . because he belongs to him."

Bret looked at me like I'd just grown another head. I couldn't really blame him. Given Bret and Jim's past, suggesting Jim had agreed to take Jack simply because he wanted him was ludicrous. But having a child changes a person; I'd learned that the first time I'd seen my girls. It was a love like I'd never felt before, a love Bret didn't understand yet, couldn't understand. Even if we were talking about Dandy Jim Buckley, he was a man, and he had as much right to experience that change as any other father.

I shook my head. "You don't understand, Bret. You don't know how they change a person. Even Jim has the right to love his child."

Bret slowly nodded. "I'll buy that. True it's hard to imagine Buckley caring about anyone but Buckley, but I'll buy it."

I could hardly believe it. Bret Maverick was giving Jim Buckley the benefit of the doubt. I was thinking I needed to write the occasion down somewhere, record it for posterity, but Bret's next words stopped me cold.

"But if that's the case, where is he?"

That's what was eating at me now. Honestly, everything that Bret and I just said had gone through my mind at least once since Jack had arrived. It made no more sense now than it did then. "I don't know." I turned back to look out into the yard, wishing I had an answer to even one of my questions. Was this a scheme? How could I find Jim? Had he abandoned his son? Did he love his son? Too many questions and no answers.

Bret stood and walked over to the edge of the porch and leaned against one of the posts. "Bart, have you . . . considered what you're gonna do if he doesn't turn up?"

I looked at Bret and offered a weak smile. "I'm tryin' really hard not to." As stressful as things had been the last several weeks that was something I didn't want to consider, much less discuss with Doralice. On the occasions the thought did come to mind, I just brooded over it silently for a minute before I turned my thoughts in another direction.

Bret smiled. "Fair enough. Think of it this way; Dandy's like a bad penny, he always shows back up."

"I hope so," I told him. "I certainly hope so."


	13. Storm Clouds Gathering (Bart)

**Storm Clouds Gathering**

I was waiting for the other shoe to fall and it did, three days later. I'd been hoping Sunday was the start of something new and easier but as it turned out it was just the calm before the storm. It started Wednesday afternoon at the saloon when Maude came down with a cold. It was nothing serious, but she didn't want to be around the girls until she was feeling better. That meant she couldn't offer any help with them, and Doralice and I were going to have to figure out how to handle things on our own. Taking care of our children shouldn't seem like such a daunting task, but I was a little nervous about how we'd handle it. I couldn't tell Maude that of course, so instead I promised her neither the Maverick household nor the saloon would fall apart during her absence, wished her the best, and sent her home to rest.

I made sure things were running smoothly at the saloon and then I went home to tell Doralice about her mother. After assuring her Maude had nothing more than a cold we tried to get some idea of how we would handle the next few days. Doralice was confident there would be no problem as she was becoming quite adept at handling two babies. After all, it was only Maudie's lack of night time sleep that kept her from being an expert at it by now. As for Jack, he didn't require much looking after; he was well behaved and pretty self-sufficient.

"So it's okay if I'm not here tonight?" I asked.

Doralice turned away from the potatoes she was preparing for supper and rolled her eyes. "Yes; for the third time."

"I don't want you to feel like I'm abandoning you."

"I don't, Bart. Not that I wouldn't love to have you here but you're going to your job. That's hardly abandoning us."

Maybe not, but i still hadn't forgotten about the days I'd come home and found Doralice nearly in tears because she'd been up most of the night. "What about Maudie?"

She shrugged. "As long as Belle sleeps well, and she has been, I'll make do."

"And if she doesn't?"

"I'll still make do. We don't have a choice. Someone has to be at the saloon, and we can't push everything off on Bret."

I sighed. "That's true."

"We're not the first parents to have to deal with this and we won't be the last. We'll be fine."

She was right of course, but there were still plenty of times I wondered how anyone survived the first few months. I guess it's different when there's only one and no colic. "I guess this is all a lot easier when you only have one at a time."

Doralice looked at the pallet where the girls were lying. "No doubt. In that case, Mister Maverick, it appears we have a choice to make."

"We do?"

"Yes, sir." She looked me straight in the eye, her tone deadly serious. "Which one should we send back?"

I sighed and eased down on the floor with the girls. "Well, Belle sleeps better and she'd got that inquisitive gaze that seems to take everything in. I'm sure she'll be sharp as a tack when she gets older."

"A nice addition to the family," Doralice commented with a smile.

"Indeed. But Maudie seems pretty bright too."

"And very loving."

"Right. So which one can we do without?"

Doralice and I looked at each other a minute before we both started to laugh. "That settles it," Doralice said. "I guess we're stuck with both of them."

"So it seems."

Doralice shook her head as she went back to the potatoes. "We'll be fine. It may get a little stressful, but we'll make it. Maudie has been doing better anyway."

"Where's Jack?" I asked leaning down and letting Maudie wrap her hand around my finger. "I haven't seen him today."

"Out playing with the cat." Jack was often with Lucy.

"He sure seems to like her."

Doralice nodded. "I wish he had something else to play with."

"What do you mean?"

"Children," she clarified. "He spends so much time alone. He doesn't have anyone close to his own age."

"Oh. I guess that would be nice for him." I hadn't thought about it, but she was right. The only people he'd been around since arriving here were adults and infants. Some time with another boy his age would probably do wonders for him.

Doralice said nothing for a minute, but then she sighed. "Have you heard anything from James?"

I shook my head. "No. Why?"

"I've been thinking about school. Jack needs it, and if he's going to be with us a while, it would help him to be around more children."

That was the first I'd heard Doralice say anything about Jack being with us for an extended amount of time and I wondered if she was having doubts about Jim, too. She made a valid point, though. Jack did need interaction with children his own age, and he needed school. But putting him in school seemed like admitting he wasn't going anywhere and I wasn't ready for that. Besides, it seemed a little cruel to get Jack settled in only to uproot him soon. I was still hoping it would be soon.

"I don't think he'll be here that long. It seems a shame to get him too used to things here if he's going to be leaving soon."

"I suppose."

"I think we should hold off on school, at least for the time being."

"You're sure?"

"I am. We're bound to hear something from Jim soon, and we'll make a decision about school then."

Doralice nodded. "If that's what you think."

Eager to get away from the topic of Jim, I moved the conversation elsewhere. Doralice and I started talking about tonight again and had almost come up with a plan when Lucy ran into the room, followed closely by Jack.

"Hey, Jack," I said as he walked past.

Jack froze for a moment then looked at me shyly. "Hi," he mumbled.

"Having fun with Lucy?" I asked scratching the little tabby's neck.

Jack nodded. "Yeah. I've never had a cat before." He looked at me a moment longer before darting over to Doralice like he was afraid I was going to bite him. I sighed and shook my head. What had I ever done to the boy that made him so jumpy around me? I could no more answer that now than I could before. At least he was happy with Doralice.

"Can I help?" he asked her.

Doralice looked down and smiled. "Of course you can."

Doralice soon had him busy, and we finished discussing how the next few days would go. After supper, I bid my girls and Jack a good night and headed back to work. A pattern I planned to repeat for the next few days.

Doralice and I had decided on what seemed to be a workable plan. I would go in after lunch and take care of office business, then head home for supper, and return to the saloon at night. That would give me a little time at home in the afternoons, but allow me to be at the saloon during the busiest time as well. Then I could go home at closing, or maybe sooner depending on how the night went, and help Doralice with the girls, if needed, before falling into bed myself. That wasn't much different than my schedule was supposed to be, but with Maude out, I would need to put in some early afternoon hours as well. That might cut in on some regular sleeping time for me, but it would only be for a few days. Surely I could get through that.

When we'd worked the plan out, I was afraid it wouldn't go off as smoothly as it did in my head, and I was right. There were a few hiccups at the saloon that night; a man at one of the poker tables was caught cheating, one of my dealers was accused of cheating, and Henry Turner had just a bit too much to drink. By the time I walked in the front door the next morning, I was ready to find my bed and sleep for a few hours. What I found instead was Doralice walking the front room with Maudie who was screaming her little lungs out.

Dorlaice gave me a tired smile when she saw me, and I grimaced in return. "Bad night?" I asked needlessly, I could tell Doralice had been up a while.

Doralice nodded. "She started not long after you left. It went on for nearly three solid hours before I could quiet her down. She slept a couple of hours and has been at it almost ever since."

So much for thinking she was getting better. "Belle?"

"She did pretty well. I brought Maudie out to try and keep her from disturbing Belle or Jack any more than necessary. One crying is always better than two crying."

"Want me to take her so you can lay down?"

Doralice was about to hand Maudie over when she must have taken a good look at me. "It doesn't look like you had an easy night either."

I gave her a wan smile. "I didn't, but men aren't quite as bad as crying babies."

I reached for Maudie again and this time Doralice passed her over. "I know you're tired too. Just give me a couple of hours . . . ."

"Go," I told her. I still had plenty of time before I would head back to the saloon; I could handle being awake a little longer.

Doralice looked apologetic but didn't require much convincing. Passing Maudie over she hurried to the bedroom while I tried to calm our daughter down. Naturally, I didn't do very well, and no amount of walking, bouncing, or begging did any good. Maudie did finally start to quiet down about fifteen minutes after I got her but I was sure that had more to do with her simply wearing herself out than anything I did. I was so sure in fact that even after she drifted off, I continued to pace the floor gently rocking her, afraid putting her down would wake her again.

"I sure wish I knew how to help you, darlin'," I mumbled to her as I walked back and forth across the room wishing there was something I could do to take this dreaded and mysteries colic away from her.

"I thought she was better."

The voice startled me and I whirled around only to find Jack standing at the edge of the room, a scowl on his face. "Me too," I told him.

"She did that all night."

"So I heard."

"Is she gonna do it again tonight?"

"More than likely." I was pretty sure Jack rolled his eyes, and I couldn't say I blamed him. I didn't like saying it any more than he liked hearing it. "Do you need something?" I asked when he made no other comment or a move to do anything else.

"No."

"Oh. What are you doing up anyway?" It would be another hour or so before sunrise and Jack wasn't normally up this early.

"I couldn't sleep," He said simply.

I grimaced assuming Maudie had something to do with that. "Yeah, sorry about that."

Jack sort of shrugged. "Do you think I can go to bed now?"

I looked down at Maudie who looked so peaceful in sleep. "I think so. It's worth a try anyway."

Jack nodded and without another word headed back to his room. I watched him go, and I sent up a silent prayer I was right. Little did I know a storm was brewing over the Maverick house.


	14. And the Rain Came Down (Bart)

**And the Rain Came Down**

The next couple of days were hectic. With Maude out at the saloon, and me trying to help with the girls after work I didn't pay much attention to those figurative clouds I thought had started gathering earlier in the week. Maybe if I had I would have noticed they looked just about ready to turn loose on us. As it was, I was focused on only two things; keeping the saloon running smoothly in my mother-in-law's absence and helping Maudie and Doralice get some sleep. I really should have been paying attention to everyone in the house, one person in particular, but unfortunately, I didn't.

Whatever had caused Maudie's colic to return with such a vengeance stayed right with her Thursday night and Friday night, so that by the time Saturday rolled around, I was worn out, physically and mentally. I didn't think I could have handled our busiest night of the week by myself if I'd had to, but thankfully I didn't have to worry about it. Bret had already told me he was going to be there to give a hand whether I liked it or not, and Maude was once again ready to take over her regular duties.

Saturday night ended up being fairly quiet, for a Saturday night. We had a steady stream of business most of the night, but it was just busy. When Bret and I were growing up, Pappy rarely went out on Saturday nights, and walking the floor at Maude's always made me remember why that was. Pappy always said there were too many amateurs out that night, and he's right. Things can get pretty chaotic when those amateurs got a little inebriated too, but thankfully that wasn't an issue this week. Despite the crowds we had, we didn't have any cheaters or belligerent drunks. Even so, by the time I got home I was ready to find my bed for a few hours.

I'll be honest, by the time we got everything cleaned and locked up the last thing I wanted to do was go home and face the possibility Doralice and Maudie hadn't slept any. I actually considered going back to my office and trying to get an hour or two of sleep before heading home, but my sense of duty won out over my selfishness. If Doralice had been up most of the night, she would need me, so I did the honorable thing and went home to check on my girls.

I considered it a good sign that I couldn't hear any wailing from inside when I stepped onto the porch. Fervently hoping all would be silent when I went inside, I cautiously opened the door and tiptoed into the hallway. For a second I stood there almost afraid to breathe. When I heard nothing, I breathed a sigh of relief and went to investigate. What I found was Doralice in the parlor, asleep on the settee, a daughter in each arm. I'd never seen anything quite so beautiful, and I just stopped and stared a minute, overwhelmed by the fact that this was my family.

Finally coming back to myself I walked over and stroked Doralice's cheek with my finger. She stirred and I smiled when she opened her eyes. "Mornin'."

"Home already?"

"Mmm-hmm. How'd it go last night?"

She smiled tiredly. "Same as the night before, and the night before that, and the night before that."

I grimaced. "How long have they been asleep?"

"What time is it?"

"Almost sunrise."

"An hour or so maybe. I finally got Maudie asleep around midnight, then Belle got hungry a couple of hours later and woke her back up."

"I'm sorry. Think if we put them in their cradles they'll keep sleeping for a bit?"

"I'm willing to try."

I took one of the girls and helped Doralice to her feet. Both seemed to be sleeping like rocks and neither one stirred when we laid them down. Once we were both free of our tiny bundles, Doralice came over and gave me a kiss. "How long did Simon say this colic lasted?" I asked as I wrapped her in my arms.

"He said it should end around three months or so."

I looked over at Maudie. "She's gonna hold out till the bitter end isn't she?"

Doralice chuckled. "Seems that way." She pulled away and took my hand. "Come on, let's get some sleep." On our way to the bedroom she slipped her hand out of mine. "Go on; I'm gonna check on Jack."

I nodded and continued to our room where I started undressing. I'd gotten my boots, jacket, tie, and vest off and was unbuttoning my shirt when Doralice rushed into the room, eyes wide. "Jack's not in his room."

"What do you mean he's not in his room?" I asked my fingers already refastening my buttons.

Doralice shook her head. "He's not there."

"Maybe he . . . ."

Doralice continued to shake her head. "I've looked all over the house and checked the outhouse. He's not here, Bart." Tears filled her eyes. "What could have happened to him? I tucked him in last night and looked in on him after I fed Belle." She suddenly choked back a sob. "Do you think he ran away? Why would he do that?"

"Doralice," I said firmly as I put my hands to her shoulders. "Let's not jump to conclusions. I'm sure he's around here somewhere. I'll . . . ."

"I've already looked," Doralice said her panic evident in the tone of her voice. "I told you he's not here."

Suddenly, I wasn't feeling good about this. Feeling a sense of urgency, I pushed past Doralice and hurried into Jack's room, my wife on my heels. When I arrived it was just as Doralice had said; there was no sign of him. "You looked outside?" I asked. I didn't want to start a manhunt when the boy had just slipped outside to relieve himself.

Doralice nodded irritably. "Yes."

That wasn't the answer I'd been hoping for. I took a breath and looked around the room trying to gather my wits. "Alright, there has to be something that can tell us where he went." I opened up the small wardrobe and was relieved to see Jack's clothes still there. Obviously, he hadn't thought he would need his clothes.

"Bart." Doralice's voice was thick with tears when she said my name.

I turned and found her holding Jack's nightshirt. Mumbling a curse as I took it from her and found all my rational thoughts from just a few moments ago disappearing. I'd been thinking it was a good sign Jack hadn't packed anything up and that meant he probably hadn't wandered too far, but now I wasn't so sure. He'd felt the need to change to clothes which meant he certainly hadn't gone to the outhouse.

"Where would he go?" Doralice asked, the tears now freely falling. "Why would he go? What if something's happened to him? Bart, we have to find him."

"We will," I told her. "We will. First, we need to . . . . " What did we need to do? My head was now spinning with all the places he might have gone and, as Doralice pointed out, all the things that could have happened to him. A hard knot settled in my stomach as I looked around the room as though I would find some kind of answer.

"Why?" Doralice asked again. "Why would he leave? He doesn't know anyone outside the family. Do you think someone took him?"

"No," I said certain about that. The idea that Jack might have been taken hadn't even crossed my mind, and it didn't seem likely even now. "No one took him."

"Then where . . . ."

I wrapped her in a hug. "Shhhhh. I'll find him." Doralice quietly cried into my shoulder for a minute and then took a deep breath and pulled back.

"He's just a little boy."

"I know, and I'll find him, but I need to know you'll be alright."

She stepped back and wiped her eyes. "I'm fine. Go on."

"You want me to see if Maude can come over?"

"No. Just find him. I'm fine."

I wasn't convinced she was fine, but she was far more composed than she'd been a few minutes ago so I figured she'd be alright alone. At least the girls were asleep. "Any ideas about where to look?" I asked her as we walked back through the house.

"No. We haven't gone many places besides some of the stores and he can't be there. Why would he leave?"

"I don't know," I replied tugging my boots back on. "But we'll find out. I'll be back soon."

Doralice followed me to the door and gave me a hug. "Please find him, Bart. He's so little and he doesn't know anyone."

I kissed her forehead before turning her loose. "I will. Just stay here in case he comes back."

Stepping outside I tried to get my thoughts in order. I decided to look around the yard first, just to make sure he hadn't found a hiding place. I wasn't expecting to find anything, but I had to start eliminating some possibilities.

It didn't take me long to cover the area around the house and, as expected, I found no trace of Jack, so it was on to somewhere else. The problem was I had no idea what was going on in Jack's head or where to start looking for him. As Doralice said, Jack really didn't know anyone outside of the family. He'd been to the doctor's office and a couple of the stores with her, but that was it. None of those places were open now anyway. I thought about what I did know. Jack hadn't been gone more than a couple of hours so he couldn't have gotten too far. He also hadn't packed anything as far as I could tell. Either he hadn't planned on running away for long, or he wasn't thinking and just hadn't taken anything. How logically did six-year-old boys think?

I sighed and looked around wondering what I needed to do. Little Bend isn't a huge town, but when you're looking for a little boy, it's big enough. Did I just start looking in random places and hope I got lucky? Did I tell the sheriff? I hated to get him involved if Jack was just hiding somewhere but was looking by myself reasonable? It was then I remembered big brother. It had been less than an hour since he'd started home, if I hurried, I could probably catch him before he got there.

I ran to the barn and got Blue saddled as fast as I could. I then pointed her in the direction of Uncle Ben's and urged her into a lope, praying Bret had decided to take the ride home nice and easy today. For several minutes I rode Blue at the ground eating lope and about a half a mile from Ben's place I saw my brother. "Bret!" I called.

Bret stopped and turned his horse. I could see the worry on his face when I slid Blue to a stop beside him.

"Jack's gone," I explained before he could ask.

"What do you mean gone?"

"I mean gone. He was in bed a couple of hours ago and now he's not. We've looked around the house and he's not there."

Bret nodded and started his horse back in the direction of town. "Where's Doralice?"  
"At home. And she's havin' a fit."

"I bet. Any idea of where to start lookin'?"

"I was hoping you might be able to help with that," I told him. "Cooler heads and all that."

Bret sort of chuckled. "All right, let's see what we can do."

XXXXXXX

It was nearly two hours later when I started thinking I might not find Jack. We still hadn't seen any sign of him, and the anxiety I'd felt earlier was worse than ever. Bret and I had talked things over and decided if Jack had intended to run away, and it seemed he had, he probably wasn't in town. Somewhere on the outskirts was more likely and Bret suggested we work our way back towards town searching as we went. If we didn't find him by the time we made it back, we could go see Dave about getting more people involved. That was better than anything my weary brain had come up with so that's what we did, and we'd gotten nowhere.

"I'm open to any more ideas," I told Bret after searching through another section of trees and brush yielded us no results.

"I guess we need to go talk to Dave."

I nodded wondering why that felt like a defeat. It wasn't a reasonable way to feel; Dave's a friend and that is his job, but for some reason, going to tell him I had a missing child was like telling him I was incompetent. "Yeah, guess we better get it over with," I mumbled turning Blue back towards town.

"Get it over with?" Bret gave me a smirk. "You're not confessing to a crime."

I gave him a halfhearted smile in return. Maybe not, but that's sort of what it felt like. I'd told Doralice I would find Jack, I hadn't. I told Jim I would look after his son, I'd lost him. I told Jack he'd be safe with us, for all I knew he wasn't. In addition to that, he hadn't felt comfortable enough to stay there to begin with. Maybe I hadn't committed a crime, but I was feeling like I'd failed an awful lot of people lately and that's never a pleasant thing to face up to.

Bret reached out and grabbed my arm. "We're gonna find him, Bart."

"Before or after he gets hurt?" I snapped. "Or worse." Bret's expression immediately became one of concern. "I'm sorry," I added before he could say anything. "That wasn't called for."

"It just wasn't quite like you. I understand you being worried but you don't usually get this worked up."

"I'm supposed to be watching someone's child, Bret, and I lost him."

"You didn't lose him; he ran away."

"Which is even worse because for some reason he no longer wanted to be there. I'm pretty sure when Jim turns back up he's expecting his son to be here. If he turns back up."

"You really think he won't, don't you?"

"I don't know. I don't want to, but he doesn't seem to be in a hurry to get back. Doesn't really seem like he cares at all."

Bret started to say something then stopped. After a minute he finally spoke. "Let's find Jack, then we can worry about Dandy."

We rode on for another four or five minutes when Bret suddenly stopped and looked back behind him. "What?" I asked.

"I just had a thought," he said a slow grin coming to his face. "Come on." Turning his gelding, he started off to the west.

"Where are you going?" I asked once I caught up.

"The river."

"The river? Why?"

"Because I just thought of something I should've thought of earlier. Where did you like to go to think?"

"But Jack's never been to the river. I don't think. He's hardly been out of town."

"Maybe not, but it runs close to town in a couple of spots; it wouldn't be hard for a boy to find. I just got a feeling."

I wasn't sure that reasoning made a lick of sense but I guess it was as good as anything.

It didn't take us long to run into the river then we started following it back to town. "I don't know why we didn't think of this before," Bret said as we rode along carefully scanning the area around him.

"Could it be lack of sleep?" I suggested.

"Maybe so." Bret stopped and lightly hit my arm before pointing off ahead of him. "Does that young man look familiar?"

I followed Bret's finger and saw Jack sitting on the river bank, arms wrapped around his knees. The horrible knot that had settled in my gut earlier this morning loosened some and I urged Blue into a trot. Jack looked up as we approached and stood up when I dismounted.

When I reached him I dropped to one knee and put my hands on his shoulders. "Are you all right? You're not hurt are you?"

Jack shook his head. "No."

It was amazing how much relief that simple word brought. Being able to see Jack, to hear him, proved he really was all right; I hadn't lost a child after all. Right on the heels of that relief came anger that Jack had just slipped off without so much as a word.

"What were you doing?" I demanded. "Do you have any idea how we've been running around looking for you? You nearly gave Doralice a heart attack when she found you missing. You don't just run off without telling someone where you're going. Especially not at night."

"Bart, let him go," Bret cut in.

My tirade interrupted, I really looked at Jack and found him staring at me, wide eyes filling with tears. I realized I was holding him tighter than I meant to as well. Feeling guilty I turned him loose but kept one hand on his shoulder. He took a step away from me, and that was a punch in the gut. If I thought the incident in the kitchen had been bad it was nothing compared to this. "You just can't do that, Jack," I told him softening my voice. "You scared a lot of people and put yourself in danger. What were you thinking?"

Jack's lip started to tremble as he jerked away from me. "Stop," he yelled, the tears that had been standing in his eyes finally falling. "You're not my daddy."

For some reason, that was even worse than the look he'd given me just a minute before. "I never said I was."

"Then stop tellin' me what to do."

"Jack."

"You don't even want me here," Jack broke in. "You don't care if I'm here or not."

"Jack, that's not true . . . . "

"Yes, it is. You only came to look for me because Doralice wanted you to. You don't care so just leave me alone." Jack whirled and ran down the riverbank.

"Jack." I jumped up to run after him, but Bret stopped me with a hand on the arm.

"I'll go," he said. "I don't think he'll listen to you right now."

I nodded stiffly acknowledging Bret was probably right. I watched my brother run after the boy I was supposed to be looking after, feeling a little sick. Wearily I sank down beside the river wondering if some time out here would offer answers the way it had when I was younger.


	15. The Light Comes On (Bart)

**The Light Comes On**

I wasn't sure how long I sat down by the river, but it was late morning by the time I got Blue back to the barn and settled in. I wasn't looking forward to going in but knew I had to face up to it sooner or later. Sighing deeply, I went inside and found a surprisingly quiet house. There were some soft noises coming from the kitchen so I went in there and found Doralice mixing something up.

"Hi," I said softly.

She looked up. "Hi."

She went back to what she was doing, and I knew she wasn't happy with me. Not that I blamed her, I wasn't happy with me at the moment either. "Where's Jack?"

"In his room. He was pretty upset when Bret brought him home."

"I'm sorry about what happened."

Doralice looked at me again. "I don't think I'm the one who needs to hear that."

"I know."

"Let him sleep for a while; he's tired. He doesn't need to be fussed at right now."

"I wasn't gonna fuss at him."

"Maybe not intentionally, but I wouldn't be surprised if it happened."

I grimaced. "I know I could have handled it differently. I know I should have but . . . I didn't think I just . . . reacted."

"You seem to be getting in the habit of that lately." There was an edge to Doralice's voice I didn't expect.

"What do you mean by that?"

Doralice stopped what she was doing, crossed her arms, and leveled me with a look. "You haven't been yourself since Jack arrived, Bart. You've been on edge, you've been snappy, you've . . . Bret told me about what happened. That's not like you, Bart."

"I didn't mean for it to happen like that."

"That's what you said about the incident with the vase."

"I explained that," I said. "I wasn't expecting . . . . "

"And I wasn't expecting this to make you crazy," Doralice shot back. "I know this whole thing was unexpected, and, yes, it's been inconvenient at times, but I thought you of all people would have more understanding for him." It wasn't often Doralice was truly upset with me, but she certainly was now.

"What do you mean?"

Doralice suddenly seemed to deflate, and she sank down on one of the kitchen chairs wearily. "He's just a little boy, Bart. He didn't come here to make your life hard."

"I know that."

"Do you?"

"Well, I don't think he plotted it out."

"That's not what I mean." She got to her feet and crossed the room wrapping her arms around me. "He's six years old, Bart. He just lost his mama, he doesn't know who his father is or where his father is, he was taken from the only thing he's ever known and sent to strangers, and he couldn't do anything about it. No one asked him what he wanted. His whole world fell apart around him and he couldn't do anything."

For the first time, I really thought about that. It was easy to say I knew all that, and I guess intellectually I did, but I had never stopped to really consider what that all meant for Jack. It's never easy to feel out of control, even as an adult, and Jack probably hadn't felt like he'd had control of anything for a very long time.

"He's not much older than you were when your mama died," she added.

That was a well-aimed shot, whether she'd meant for it to be or not. I winced and rested my chin on her head. That's what she'd meant by I should've had more understanding for him. It was so long ago, and I'd been so young that I don't remember a lot of details from those days, but I do remember the loneliness and the confusion, and Pappy not acting like Pappy for a very long time. I remember clinging to Bret because he'd been the only thing that still made any sense; the only thing that was normal. Jack didn't have that. Jack didn't have a home or a brother or any other family to hold on to. Life as he'd always known it was just over, and what he had now was a strange place full of strange people and a vague promise his father would show up one day.

"You're right," I said quietly. "I should have been more understanding."

Doralice pulled away enough to look up at me. "He's just scared, Bart, and he's looking for someone to love him."

"And I haven't even come close."

"It's not that. I just think you're scared too, although I don't know why."

I pulled her close to me again. "I don't know. I just feel like I can't reach him. It's like he'd rather be around anyone but me."

"Have you considered he's never had a man in his life before?"

This time I pushed her away so I could see her. "What?"

"He's never met his father, and there obviously wasn't anyone else to take care of him after he lost his mother. How many men do you think he's known?"

"I never thought of that."

"I think there's a lot you never thought about."

I sighed. "I guess he's due another apology from me."

"I'd say so, but he needs to sleep right now, and so do you. Go get some rest; he's not going anywhere."

XXXXXXX

I slept fitfully throughout the day, and the afternoon shadows were growing long when Doralice came and woke me. "Were you planning on sleeping all day?" she asked sitting down on the bed beside me.

I gave her a wan smile. "If I could get away with it. How'd everything go today?"

"Not bad actually. Feeling any better?"

"I'm feeling more rested," I told her. Better was relative, but I was hoping I was at least capable of having a rational conversation now. "How's Jack?" I knew I needed to make amends for what had happened earlier and figured that would be easier if he was feeling better himself.

"He seems better than he was this morning, but I think I need to warn you about something."

I didn't like the way that sounded. "What?"

"Your father's here."

I groaned. I was well aware of my failings of late; I didn't need Pappy to help point them out. Doubtless, he was aware of all the nitty-gritty details of the last few days, as well as what had happened down at the river this morning. Given how he'd taken to Jack last week I couldn't imagine he was too happy with me right now. "Maybe I'll just stay in bed after all."

Doralice leaned over and kissed me. "He came to see the girls like he does every Sunday. It has nothing to do with you."

I grunted in response; I wasn't so sure of that, but it wasn't something I was going to argue about. "Listen, I know I need to talk to Jack, but I'd like to take a walk first. Try to clear my head some. Do you mind?" I wasn't sure if I really needed to think things through or if I was just trying to avoid Pappy and Jack together, but either way, the idea seemed like a good one.

Doralice gave me a look like she suspected what I was up to, but she finally shook her head. "No, not if it helps you." She gave me another kiss and stood up. "I'll see you later."

After she left the room, I got up and got dressed. Once I was cleaned up I slipped out of the bedroom and went out the back door so I could avoid talking to anyone just yet. Once outside I started walking and ran the whole situation with Jack and Dandy through my head, starting from the time Jim had shown up until now.

The fact was, Doralice was right, I hadn't been myself since he'd been here and I wasn't sure why. I thought it was something I needed to figure out though, and the sooner the better. One way or the other, I had to find a way not only to apologize to Jack for the way I'd yelled at him but to actually make peace with him. Maybe Doralice was right; maybe all he needed a little more understanding.

It was almost dark by the time I made my way back home, and once I got there, I sat down on the back steps. I just wasn't ready to go in and face Jack yet, maybe because I still didn't know what to say to him. Sure I could just say sorry, but I felt like Jack deserved more than that. I wish I knew what Bret had said to him today, or even Doralice or Pappy. I didn't understand it. Why was it Jack seemed to get along with everyone but me? Why did I make him so nervous?

I sat outside, elbows on my knees, as I stared off into the darkness and tried to find answers to my questions. I knew I'd been acting oddly the last few weeks, but I'd been chalking that up to too many life changes at one time. I was now wondering if that was right. Maybe it wasn't too many changes; maybe it just wasn't the right kind of changes. Maybe I just wasn't cut out to be a father. That was a sobering thought and not one I liked, but one I couldn't help but think. I didn't seem to do all that well with Maudie during her hours of crying and how I'd handled Jack today proved I wasn't much better with older children. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be.

I sighed and dropped my head into my hands. Was that it? God knew mine and Doralice's journey to each other hadn't been easy. There had been a lot of wasted years and failed romances in my life before I'd found myself here. Even after I'd got here there had been delays that made me wonder if I'd ever get to marry Doralice. I'd always thought of it as bad luck or some crazy twist of fate, but maybe that had been the universe's way of trying to stop me from making a mistake. Maybe I wasn't supposed to be a family man.

That was truly sickening thought. I loved Doralice, more than anything, and I loved our girls. I couldn't imagine not having them or going back to the way my life used to be. But how else could I explain how completely inept I seemed to be at fatherhood. Sure I was new to it all, but so was Doralice, and she was getting along just fine. Even Bret who has never expressed much interest in having a family of his own was pulling this off better than me. I felt like I was in way over my head, and I didn't know what to do with it.

The door behind me opened, and I expected to hear Doralice's voice or to have her slip down beside me. It wasn't Doralice I heard though, it was a rather gruff sounding "Bartley."

I winced at Pappy's voice. If he was helping Jack, great, but I wasn't sure I had it in me to endure one of Pappy's lectures tonight.

"Mind if I join you?" he asked.

"No," I mumbled only because saying yes wasn't really an option.

Pappy walked across the porch and lowered himself down on the steps next to me. A grunt accompanied the movement, and I was reminded that Pappy while still spry for his age was about forty years my senior; he wasn't a young man anymore. I wasn't a child anymore either, so why was his mere presence getting me so anxious? I was a grown man and this was my house. Yes, he's my father but I do have some control over what goes on here. If he started to say something I didn't like I could speak up. But that would just start a fight and I wasn't feeling up to that either. It looked like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

"What are you doin' out here?" he asked once he'd settled in next to me.

"Thinkin'."

"About anything in particular?"

I didn't answer right away. Chin propped on my fist I looked out into the yard and thought about how best to answer that. It probably wouldn't take much for Pappy to accuse me of wallowing in self-pity. I didn't really think that's what I was doing, but whether I was or I wasn't, I didn't want to hear what he had to say on the topic. "How I could have done things differently," I finally told him.

"With Jack?"

I grimaced. Apparently Pappy was of the opinion I could have handled that differently too. I wasn't surprised, and he wasn't wrong, but I didn't need him to tell me about it. "Among other things," I told him. Like Dandy Jim Buckley.

"And what could you have done differently?"

I shook my head and stated the most obvious thing. "I shouldn't have yelled at him. Not like that."

Pappy nodded thoughtfully. "What else could you have done differently?"

For some reason, that got to me. I was reminded of being about fifteen and Pappy trying to extract a confession out of me for something or the other. Needing some space to breathe I pushed to my feet and walked out into the yard. Keeping my back to Pappy, I crossed my arms and took a deep breath. "Plenty I'm sure. You gotta have at least a couple of things in mind."

I didn't have to see Pappy to know the look he was giving me; I could feel it. "What's that mean?"

"I don't know." I don't even know why I said it. Maybe I was feeling too much like a kid.

"Why don't you just calm down a little, son?"

"I'm calm," I snapped. I winced as soon as the words left my mouth, knowing my tone was belying the words.

"Oh, I can see that," Pappy muttered sarcastically.

I sighed, recognizing me and Pappy were on the very path I'd been afraid of. If things kept on like this, I'd end up either a fight or a lecture on my hands for sure. Well, I wasn't a child, and there was no reason to act like one. I did need to calm down. "Pappy, can we not do this tonight?" I asked evening out my tone. "Please."

"Do what, Bartley?" Once again, I didn't need to see Pappy to know he was now gazing at me inquisitively, one eyebrow raised.

I finally turned to face him. "Give me a detailed report of everything I've been doing wrong. I'm already painfully aware of it; I don't need to hear all about it right now."

"I see." Pappy stood, another grunt accompanying the act, and walked over to me. "You think that's why I came out here?"

"Didn't you?"

"I hadn't planned on it."

"Oh," I said quietly feeling a little stupid for my earlier defensiveness.

"I'm really curious, Son. What is it that you've been doing so wrong?"

"What is it I've been doing right the last few weeks?"

"I need more information than that, boy."

I finally decided just to say it. If Pappy thought I was having a pity party so be it. "I'm not sure I'm meant for this, Pappy."

"What?"

"This," I said gesturing towards the house. "All of this. I don't . . . I don't know if I'm cut out for this. A husband and a father and . . . this."

Pappy gave me a look that made me think I'd actually hurt him. "You really believe that?"

I looked down at the ground. "I don't know. I don't want to but . . . . I don't seem to be handling any of this very well. Bret can get Maudie and she's quiet in two seconds. I get her and she screams for hours. You and Ben can get Jack to laugh and play poker, and I can barely get him to string a whole sentence together." I looked back up and smiled sadly. "Maybe I'm just not meant to do this."

"What about Doralice? You think she'd want anybody else to be her babies' father?"

"Yeah, well, what we want and what we need ain't always the same thing."

Pappy sighed and tugged on my arm. "Come here."

"What? Why?"

"We're gonna go back over there and sit down so I can try to talk some sense into you. You ain't stupid, Bart, far from it, but I swear sometimes you just don't think."

"I'm thinkin' fine," I said trying to shrug out of Pappy's grip. He turned loose of my arm but still gave me a nudge towards the stairs.

"No, you're not. Sit down."

"Pappy, I'm . . . ."

"Sit."

I heaved a sigh and plopped back down on the steps. I'd play along until Pappy got whatever it was out of his system.

Pappy stood over me and crossed his arms. "What do you mean you don't know if you're cut out for this?"

"I told you what I meant."

"You're a bad father because Maudie doesn't cry as much with Bret and Jack played poker with me?"

I rolled my eyes. "Well, no, that's not the only reason, but I keep waiting for things to get easier, for something to feel natural, and . . . it doesn't. Everything seems just as hard and foreign as it did two months ago. I mean, I think everybody handles my babies better than I do."

"You mean me and Maude and your uncle Ben?"

"And Bret and Doralice."

Pappy sort of chuckled. "Well, boy, Maude, and Doralice are women. They're mamas too. Don't even try to compare yourself to that because you'll never win. Mama's are special."

I looked up at him. "What about you?"

Pappy seemed to think about that for a minute. "How old are you, Bart?"

"What?"

"How old are you?"

"Thirty-two," I answered slowly wondering where Pappy was going with this.

"And how old's your brother?"

"Thirty-four."

"Now how old are the girls?"

"Pappy, what does . . . ."

"How old are they?"

"Just shy of three months."

Pappy sat back down. "Alright. I've had you and your brother for more than thirty years. You've had your girls less than three months. Don't you think I've had a little more practice with all this than you have? It's been a mighty long time since I've spent the night walking the floor with anyone."

That reasoning suddenly made a lot of sense. "I guess you've got a point there."

"I think so."

"But Bret hasn't had any practice."

"If you're talking about Maudie, Bret has an advantage over you. He doesn't have to live with her. He's never been up all night with her. He's her uncle, not her daddy."

"What difference does that make?"

"Bart, have you ever considered the possibility that Maudie knows how tense you are? That she can tell Bret is more relaxed?"

I looked at Pappy in disbelief. Could it really be that simple? "What about Jack?"

"I think it's the same thing. You've been a wound pretty tight the last few weeks, Bart. I think that boy in there knows you're uneasy around him, and if I was a betting man, I'd say you get him just as worked up as he gets you."

I had to admit everything Pappy said made a lot of sense. "So . . . you don't think I'm a terrible father?"

"If I learned one thing during all the years I've been playing poker it's that cheaters don't care that they're cheaters."

And just like that, Pappy was cryptic again. "Okay," I said slowly wondering what that had to do with my problem.

Pappy put a hand on my shoulder. "My point, Bart, is I don't think terrible fathers worry about the fact they're terrible fathers. You just keep on loving those girls like I know you do and you'll all be fine."

"You really think that?"

Pappy gave me a long look. For a moment I thought there was something he wanted to say but he finally just smiled. "Yes, sir, I do." Pappy slowly got to his feet and turned to go back inside.

I heard the door shut behind Pappy and continued to stare out at in the darkness thinking about what Pappy and Doralice had told me. Loving my girls was easy. If I could just find a way to let Jack know I really did care, we all might make it through this.


	16. Turning a Corner (Bart)

**Turning a Corner**

By the time I got back inside, the Sunday company was gone, and for that I was grateful. I'd managed to get things worked out with Pappy and I had some idea of how to fix things with Jack, but I wasn't up for a house full of people. Honestly, I wouldn't even mind if my talk with Jack was put off until tomorrow.

I found Doralice in the girls' bedroom, and all three of them were on the floor. Doralice was sitting as ladylike as possible while the babies were laid on a quilt. Doralice was talking to one of them but looked up as I entered the room. She smiled. "You looked relatively unscathed."

I sort of smiled back. "I believe I am. He said some things that actually made a lot of sense. You both did." I sat down next to her. "Where's Jack?"

"In the bed."

"Already?" He usually wasn't in the bed this early.

"He's had a rough day, and he hasn't been sleeping too well lately. That's why he left."

I looked down at my daughter and stroked her cheek. "I see."

"Bret, Beauregard, and I all talked to him. He said he wasn't trying to run away, just get away for a while."

"I can understand that. I guess I need to talk to him tomorrow."

Doralice gave me a pointed look. "Are you ready for that?"

I could hear a touch of accusation in her voice. "Yes," I told her hoping to convey I was properly ashamed of how I'd been acting lately. "I told you, you and Pappy both made some good points and the fact is . . . I haven't been a very good father lately."

"Bart, that's not true . . . ."

I put my fingers over Doralice's mouth. "Let me explain." Doralice fell silent and I continued. "I may have done the best I could for the girls, but I haven't put forth much effort with Jack. You're right, he probably hasn't had a lot of men in his life and when he kept his distance from me, I didn't do anything to try and change it. I kept wondering why he didn't come to me but I didn't try to go to him. Not the way Pappy and Ben did. I guess I can't blame him for staying back."

"I think you may be right."

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. "He thinks I don't care about him." That was probably the thing that bothered me the most about what had gone on between me and Jack. I didn't want him thinking that, and I especially didn't want to act like that.

Doralice grimaced. "I know. Bret talked to him some about that."

"Just what all did y'all talk about?" I was genuinely curious about that. It might make my own talk with him easier, knowing what had already been discussed.

"A little bit of everything, really. He knows what he did was wrong and we talked about him not doing something like that again, but we let him explain his side of the situation too." She smiled. "Beauregard was really good with him."

I shook my head thinking of all the times me and Pappy had butted heads and all the times Bret had to play peacekeeper to two stubborn mules. "You have no idea how . . . odd that sounds."

"He's a good man."

"I agree; one of the best. But he has mellowed out some through the years."

Doralice chuckled. "He's a grandfather now."

I looked back at my girls. "Yes, he is." And I was a father; it was time to act like one, to everyone. No, Jack wasn't mine, but he needed someone, and for the moment, that was me. "I'm lucky I have the both of you," I told Doralice. "To help me see the light when I get sidetracked. I know that's happened a lot since Jack's been here."

"A bit, but you have had a lot going on lately. At least you know what you need to fix now."

"Think Jack will forgive me?"

"I'm sure he will. I told you before; he's just looking for someone to love him." Doralice pushed to her feet. "Now, how 'bout we get these little ladies ready for bed? Then maybe we can get some time to ourselves before . . . ." She trailed off giving Maudie a pointed look.

A gave her a grin as I stood up. "That's a nice thought. I'm not sure it will work, but it's a nice thought."

We spent close to an hour with the girls getting them changed, fed, and ready for bed. By the time we were finished, they both looked ready for sleep; although I knew better than to hope they would both make it through the whole night. Still, I was willing to take what we could get and we were both grateful to sink onto the settee with a cup of coffee. It's funny how things change over time. Before babies came along if Doralice asked me if I wanted coffee, she had something more sensual in mind, but after the last few days, I was more than happy to sit here beside her with actual coffee in my hand. Not that I would object to something else, but that would have to wait until later.

The evening went better than I expected. Doralice and I were able to talk about an hour before she started drifting off on me. Of course, she hadn't slept most of the day like I had so I had her lean her head over on my shoulder and let her sleep. It was about forty-five minutes later that Maudie decided to start screaming.

Doralice stirred and started to get up but I stopped her. "Stay," I told her. "I'll get her."

Doralice didn't protest and stretched out on the settee as soon as I got up.

I hurried into the girls' room and got Maudie out of her cradle, hopefully before she could wake anyone else up. Mindful of the other three people in the house who were trying to sleep I put Maudie up on my shoulder and slipped out the back door. As soon as we were outside I started pacing the yard, bouncing her, and talking to her softly. Her crying continued but I was mindful of what Pappy had said about her being able to tell I was tense and I made every effort to relax.

I don't how long I walked back and forth across the yard talking to Maude about anything and everything that popped into my head. The words didn't seem to have much of an impact on Maudie as she kept right on crying. "Oh, I wish you could talk to me," I said after a while. I'd decided this wouldn't be so bad if I just knew what she wanted. Naturally, that didn't do much good either.

"Please, Maudie," I said as I tried bouncing her a little harder. I kept reminding myself to stay calm but this was a little unnerving. Almost without thinking I started to hum as I bounced her and after a minute I started to softly sing. "There's a yellow rose in Texas, that I'm a going to see, nobody else could miss her, not half as much as me. She cried so when I left her, it like to broke my heart, and if I ever find her, we nevermore will part."

I continued the song and soon noticed Maudie wasn't crying quite as hard as she'd been before. Stunned that she wasn't screaming anymore I stopped and looked at her. "Maudie?" I said quietly, wondering if something was wrong. I found out quickly she was just fine as she started fussing as soon as the walking and singing stopped. Once my fears were alleviated, I wasted no time in started the song again. I sang it through three times before I dared stop again. This time when I checked on her I found she had drifted back to sleep.

She was asleep. I wasn't stupid enough to whoop out loud, but it was tempting. My little girl who had spent weeks screaming for hours every night had gone back to sleep. Not only had she gone back to sleep, I had gotten her back to sleep. Not Bret, not Maude, not Pappy or Doralice, but me. I thought about Pappy's words from earlier "you just keep lovin' those girls like I know you do and you'll all be fine." I cradled my daughter closer and kissed her head; maybe Pappy knew what he was talking about after all.

XXXXXXX

The rest of the night passed uneventfully. Of course, neither Maudie nor Belle slept the whole night through, but Maudie didn't go into any more of her screaming fits. She woke up a couple more times, but we were able to calm her within half an hour or so and Doralice was amazed my singing seemed to sooth Maudie so quickly. It wasn't the first time we'd tried singing to calm her and it had never worked before. Why it worked now I didn't know and I didn't care, just so long as it kept working. It seemed the colic was simply fading away as Simon had told us it would. Again, I didn't care what the reason was. As long as something worked, I'd do it.

Thanks to our semi-peaceful night, I was feeling pretty good by the time I got up the next morning. I wasn't naive enough to think Maudie's problems were over, but I was at least hopeful we were nearing the end of her colic and getting closer to normal nights. Being able to calm her myself had also helped me feel like less of a failure than I had before. Maybe I wasn't totally hopeless as a father. I still had Jack to deal with, however, and even though I was feeling better about Maudie, I wasn't sure what I needed to do with him.

I expressed my concerns to Doralice after I got up and she, being the woman she is, suggested I just get it over with. She was more polite than that, but that's what she meant. We'd talked quite a bit about Jack before she'd fallen asleep last night and her advice was I try to explain things to Jack just as I had to her. Well, that was as good as anything so I decided to see what I could do. It would be pretty hard to mess things up any worse than I already had.

I went to Jack's room and softly knocked on the door. When Jack answered I opened it and asked to come in. Jack eyed me warily but nodded. I assumed he'd been warned I was going to come talk to him.

Jack sat down on his bed and once again I found myself on the receiving end of that look of his. I took a deep breath and hoped for the best. "It seems like I spend a lot of time apologizing to you."

Jack dropped his gaze. "I'm sorry I ran off," he said quietly. "I didn't mean to upset you and I wasn't runnin' away I just . . . Maudie was crying all the time and . . . ."

"Well, I understand that," I told him hoping to put him at ease.

Jack looked up. "Really?"

He smiled at him. "Really." I motioned to the bed. "Can I sit down?" He shrugged and I took that as a yes. I sat down next to him and thought about my next words carefully. "I understand, but you shouldn't have run off that way. You could have been hurt or lost. You should always tell someone when you want to go somewhere."

Jack sighed. "I know. That's what Bret said too. He also told me you weren't really mad, just worried and sometimes when people were scared or worried they act mad."

It sounded like Brother Bret had done this before. I didn't know when that would have been, but maybe I need to seek his advice more often. "He's right. I was worried, I was afraid something had happened to you. But I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I could have told you I was unhappy without yelling. I'm sorry too."

"I told Doralice I won't run off without telling someone again."

I chuckled. "Well, I'd rather you not run off at all, but it's always a good idea to tell someone where you're going. And I won't yell at you like that again either. Sound like a deal?"

Jack looked at me for a long moment before he nodded. "Okay."

"Good. Now there's somethin' else I want to talk to you about."

Jack wiggled around some. "Like what?"

"What you said down by the river, about me not wantin' you here. That's just not true, Jack." Between Pappy and Doralice and even Maudie, I'd done some soul searching, and I'd finally made peace with all of this. Maybe Jack wasn't what I had signed up for, but I told Dandy I'd look after his package, and I was going to that. As Doralice had pointed out, Jack had nothing to do with this, he just went where people sent him and he deserved to feel safe and wanted. "I don't mind you being here, and I want you to be happy here."

"You never seemed to want me around."

"I know it probably seemed that way, but I didn't mean for it to. Remember what Bret said about people getting scared and worried? Well, I've been worried about a lot of different things lately, and I've probably said a lot I shouldn't have. I know you're scared too . . . ."

"I'm not scared," Jack cut in.

"It's okay to be scared, Jack. I was about your age when my mama died and I know it's scary."

"I'm not scared," Jack said again, a bit more defiantly this time.

I thought back to what Doralice had said earlier and my heart broke a little. No, Jack wasn't scared; he was terrified, and who could blame him. He'd been through so much lately he probably had no idea how he should feel. And Dandy . . . well, what was Jack supposed to think about Dandy? Had he known anything about his father before this? Did he know anything at all about Jim other than the fact he was supposed to come back at some point?

"I'm sorry if I made you feel like you weren't wanted here, Jack," I told him deciding to get the conversation off of his feelings. "I told you before I wanted you to feel like this was home for as long as you were here, and I mean that. Until your dad gets here, this is home, and we want you here."

Jack finally looked at me and I was surprised to see how sad he looked. "It's okay," he said. "I know the truth."

"What?" I was genuinely confused.

"About my daddy." Jack sighed and his little shoulders slumped. "He's not coming."

My stomach dropped. Had Jack heard some of the talking I'd done? I hoped not; there was no way I could explain Dandy and what he was doing to Jack. I didn't even understand it myself. "What . . . why do you say that?"

"Because he doesn't want me."

My heart cracked again at how matter-of-fact that simple phrase was, and what was worse was the fact I didn't know how to respond. How could I reassure Jack when I had doubts about Dandy myself? "Jack . . . there's no . . . why . . . why do you think that?"

"If he wanted me he'd be here; he'd come to get me. Mama always said he wouldn't come back to see us and he's not gonna come back now."

"Jack, I . . . ." I had nothing to say. Mostly because I feared Jack was right.

"Why did mama want me to go to him? He doesn't love me." Jack looked up at me, tears in his eyes. "Why'd she have to go? Why couldn't she stay with me?"

My cracked heart shattered when I heard that; I remembered asking that question more than once myself. "It wasn't her choice, Jack," I told him tears burning my own eyes. "She would have stayed if she could have. She loves you."

"But I miss her." The tears finally spilled over.

Unable to stop myself I reached over and pulled him into my lap. Jack threw his arms around my neck and buried his face in my shoulder as sobs began to wrack his body. I sat there holding him, my heart breaking as a similar scene between me and Pappy came to mind. It was shortly after mama died and I had been just as lost and hurt as Jack was now; a couple of tears even rolled down my own cheeks as Jack continued to sob. Heartbreaking as it was to see Jack release his pain, I couldn't help but feel something good was happening. Something told me this was something Jack had needed to do for a long time. He'd likely been keeping it all bottled up inside, too afraid to let us know he was scared, and finally, he felt safe enough to let it out.

Jack held on to me and cried until there were no tears left, but they were healing tears. By the time he'd finished, I felt we had both healed some.


	17. Where's Dandy (Bart)

**Where's Dandy?**

I can't say things magically changed after talking to Jack, but they did get easier. I started to see more and more of the Jack I'd gotten a glimpse of that first day in my office and finally understood what Doralice meant when she said he was charming. He still had moments when he was quiet and withdrawn with me, but it was nothing like before. Maudie continued to improve too. Just like the doctor said, the colic started to go away as mysteriously as it had come. She would still wake several times throughout the night, but it was pretty easy to calm her down. There were even times when she would quiet down on her own.

Now that me and Jack were on more of an even keel and Maudie was sleeping easier I tried to get back on a regular schedule at the saloon. I think that in and of itself helped everyone. It had been chaotic the last few weeks trying to figure out where I needed to be and when I needed to be there but making myself keep a regular schedule helped everyone else find some order too. I'd work two or three hours in the afternoons, go home for a while then head back to Maude's for the night, going home at closing or sometimes a little before.

This particular day Jack was with me at Maude's. Doralice had a couple of lady friends coming over for coffee, and she thought Jack might enjoy not being stuck in a house full of women. I guess she had a point, but I have to say I wasn't thrilled to be on my own with Jack. It wasn't that I minded having him but it was the first time since our talk we'd been alone together and I was nervous about what might happen. True he was acting better, more like a kid, but he wasn't completely at ease with me yet, and my office wasn't the most exciting place to spend the afternoon, even for me. I knew I needed to do my part with him though and Doralice needed some grownup time, so I was going to do my best with him.

We'd been at Maude's about an hour, me going over some invoices and Jack was looking at a book. Just like the first time we'd been here he sat quietly on the sofa and flipped through the pages just like he was reading. The book was one of my Dickens, he'd gotten it off the shelf in my office, and I was sure he couldn't actually read it, but he was certainly staring at it like he could.

I watched him out of the corner of my eye for close to twenty minutes before curiosity finally got the best of me. I'd seen Jack "read" several times and I wanted to know just how much of the books he understood. "Hey, Jack?"

He looked up from the book. "Yes, sir?" It was a relief that he answered my question without looking like I was about to hit him.

I motioned towards the book. "Can you read that?"

He looked at the book and then back at me. "No. Well, some of the words."

"So you just look at them?"

Jack nodded. "Mostly. Sometimes I make up my own stories."

I hadn't expected that, but then Jack did a lot I didn't expect. "Okay."

Jack went back to his book and I went back to my paperwork. Even though he was acting more like a kid, Jack was a puzzle I wasn't sure I would ever work out. I've always enjoyed reading but I couldn't remember sitting for any extended amount of time and just looking at a book I couldn't read. But if he was happy I couldn't see that there was anything wrong with it.

Another five or ten minutes passed and then it occurred to me there was no reason for Jack to be sitting there staring at a book he couldn't read. I'd told Doralice just a few days ago that I needed to do better at trying to reach Jack, and this was a perfect time. "Jack," I said as I started putting my papers away. "Would you be interested in a game of poker

Jack looked up from his book again. "Do you know how to play poker?"

I had to laugh at the innocently asked question. Jack had no reason to know how proficient I was at the game. As far as he knew I'd been in Little Bend, working at Maude's, my whole life. Still, given how I'd actually spent most of my adult life, it was funny to think I wouldn't know how to play poker. "Yes, sir, I do. The same men that taught you taught me."

"Oh." Jack was quiet for a moment before he hopped off the sofa and hurried over to my desk. "Okay," he said sliding to a stop in front of me.

I cleared off space on my desk and pulled one of the extra chairs up close for Jack. Jack eagerly got on the chair and sat on his knees to make himself a little higher. Once he was situated he looked up at me expectantly. I much preferred this child to the silent one who only stared at me.

I pulled out a deck and offered them to Jack. "Would you like to start?"

Jack's eyes lit up as he reached for the cards. His shuffling was sloppy, as most six-year-olds would be, but he was pretty good at dealing. After a couple of hands, I found myself naturally slipping into a teaching role, giving Jack different pointers and telling him about tricks people might use, and I enjoyed it. Jack was attentive and eager to learn, and I was surprised by how much he seemed to remember from his time with Pappy. Given time we could make him as good as any Maverick.

"You know, your daddy's a good player too," I said after we'd played for half an hour or so.

I saw the change come over Jack as soon as I mentioned Dandy and I could have kicked myself for bringing the topic up. Jack hadn't mentioned his father since that day in his bedroom, and I hoped my careless offhanded remark wouldn't push him back into his little corner. Judging from the look on his face, I was afraid that had just happened so I was surprised when he spoke up.

"Have you known him a long time?"

"I suppose you could say that." I'd known Jim longer than Jack had been alive; at six I was sure that seemed like a long time.

Jack laid his cards on the desk. "What's he like?"

I leaned back in my chair and thought about that. What was Dandy Jim like? All the things that immediately came to mind were things I wasn't about to tell Jack, but the man did have some good points; a couple anyway. "Well, you look a lot like him. Did your mama ever tell you that?"

Jack smiled shyly and nodded. "She said my eyes were like his."

"They are. And he usually dresses really fancy."

"Like you?"

I chuckled. "Even fancier than me. He likes his coats and ties and vests in bright colors. And his boots are always so shiny you can see yourself in them."

"Mama told me he traveled a lot and that's why he wouldn't come to see us."

"He does travel a lot. That's how we met."

Jack cocked his head and studied me a moment. "Did you used to travel a lot too?"

"I did," I replied getting a sinking feeling this talk was about to swerve off into territory I wasn't prepared to explore.

"But you don't now."

It was a statement not a question and my feeling of foreboding grew. "Not much, no."

"Why?"

With the simple one word question, my worst fears were realized. Jack was looking for a reason for his father's absence. Eventually, he'd work his way around to wanting to know exactly where his father was and why he hadn't come to get him, and I couldn't answer either of those questions. "I got married," I told him. Something became more important to me than traveling was, and even if I hadn't told Jack that in so many words I knew he'd pick up on it. The next inevitable question would be, was he, as Jim's son, important enough for Dandy to give something up.

Jack sighed and was quiet for nearly a solid minute. "Bart," he finally said. "Is my daddy really coming to get me?"

At that moment I made a decision. Right or wrong, good or bad, I didn't know and I didn't care. Jack needed something to hold onto, something real, not just a vague answer meant to pacify him, and I decided to give it to him. I'd worry about the consequences and ramifications later.

I leaned across my desk. "Jack, I don't know why your dad's not here yet; something must have happened to hold him up, but he's coming. If he wasn't coming, he wouldn't have had you brought here. I know he's been gone a long time, but we're gonna find out why. He is coming to see you."

Jack had been staring intently at the floor but at those words, he looked up, and for the first time since the day he arrived, gave me a real smile.

XXXXXXX

The promise I'd made Jack seemed to change him completely. He remained chatty and in good spirits the rest of the afternoon and I was just hoping I would be able to keep my promise to him. If Jim didn't show up and soon, I wasn't sure what it would do to Jack. I'd been ready for Jim to show up since day one, but that was mostly for my own sanity. Now I needed Jim to show up for Jack. The poor kid had it in his head he wasn't wanted, and no one deserves to feel like that. I still wasn't sure how to go about finding out exactly what was going on with Dandy, but I needed to figure it out, and quick.

On the way home, we stopped by the general store to pick up the mail and I treated both Jack and myself to a peppermint stick while we waited. Jack was practically inhaling his when my mail was passed over to me and I flipped through it as we went out the door. There was nothing remarkable about the first two, but the third stopped me in my tracks. It was from one James A. Buckley and seeing it left a knot of dread in my stomach. I should have been happy to see anything from the man but something was telling me this wasn't going to be a nice friendly letter.

"What's wrong, Bart?"

The sound of Jack's voice pulled me out of my stupor and looked over to find Jack giving me a funny look. "Huh?"

"What's wrong?" he asked again.

"Nothin'," I said forcing a smile. No need to tell Jack about the letter until I knew what was in it, especially if my gut instinct was right and this wasn't going to be a thanks-for-looking-after-my-son-and-I'm-coming-to-get-him-soon type of thing. I tucked the letters inside my coat. "Let's go."

That seemed to satisfy Jack and he started back down the boardwalk. I followed at a slower pace, itching to find out what was in that letter.

Doralice's company was gone by the time we got home and it looked like the grownup time had done her a world of good. She was smiling and seemed more rested than she had in months. "Did you boys have a good afternoon?" she asked brightly as we came in.

Jack immediately started talking about our poker game and Doralice gave me a smile. Nice as it was to see Jack talk to Doralice about me and not sound like he hated my guts, Jim's letter was burning a hole in my pocket, and I needed a few minutes alone to read it. After making sure Doralice didn't need me for anything, I hurried to our bedroom and pulled out the letter.

I sighed as I looked at it. Maybe it was the name bothering me; James. Why had he sent me a letter and used James? Was that because of Doralice, or was Jim being formal because of the way he was raised? I told myself either of those were a possibility, but I had a feeling there was more to it than that. Taking a deep breath, I opened the envelope and pulled out the letter.

Bart,

You know by now that there was more to my package than I told you. I do apologize for that but I was desperate. I needed your help and knew if I gave you all the details, you would refuse, and rightly so. I'm certain by this time you are wondering if you'll ever see me again. I'm penning this letter to tell you, you won't. I can't imagine you have any desire to anyway.

Whatever possessed the boy's mother to think I would be a suitable guardian I'll never know. We both know how preposterous that notion is. Most would call it a miracle I've been able to take care of myself thus far; I'm certainly not qualified to see after a child.

His mother's request was that I see him cared for and I've spent the last several weeks wondering how best to do that. I've finally decided the most gracious act I can perform is to leave him right where he is, with the best man I know. He'll have a far better life in your care than he would in mine. Finding out you now have children of your own has only reinforced my opinion that Little Bend is a better place for him than any place I might end up. Bring him up however you see fit and claim him as your own if you like. You'll receive no interference or objections from me.

I'm sure you won't think I have the right to offer any excuses, but I would like to say that I never intended for things to end here, in this way. When I asked for your assistance, I truly planned to return for the boy, but these last weeks have shown me just how ill-prepared I was to accept custody of him. Doubtless, you and your lovely wife have seen to his every need of late, and I'm just as sure you will continue to do so for as long as needed. I am aware there will be expenses connected to his care and I'm prepared to send you funds to cover them. He will inherit no small amount from his mother once he is of legal age, but I will provide you with a tidy sum that should help with his keep until then.

The only thing I can say, Bart, is thank you. I hold many fond memories of our times together and it pains me that our association has come to such an abrupt and inglorious end. You showed me many courtesies through the years, far more than I deserved, I'm sure. I ask you now show those courtesies to the boy instead, and I have no doubt you will. Goodbye, Bart.

James A. Buckley

I read it through once and then once more just to make sure I was seeing it right. By the end of my second reading it hit me that I'd been right, Jim wasn't planning on coming back, and anger boiled up inside of me. I jumped up from the bed with a curse. Picking up a pillow off the bed I threw it at the far wall. It didn't do anything to sate my anger but I knew I couldn't throw anything that would draw attention so I started pacing the room and calling Jim every name I could think of.

How could he do this? How could he put Jack through this? How could he be so heartless? Why had he agreed to this just to leave Jack with me? Why had he picked me? The questions kept coming and I had no answers for any of them. As I paced the confines of my room seething and cussing Jim out under my breath, my anger started to fade. I was still plenty mad, but I was becoming more rational and I finally flopped back down and read the letter one more time.

This time as I read it, two things stuck out to me. One was Jim's claim that he had planned on coming back. I wasn't sure I believed that, but it did make sense. Why claim a kid only to stick him with someone else? It didn't make me any less angry, but I did feel a little better that this hadn't been some great plot against me from the beginning. The second thing I noticed was Jim's words "the best man I know." I should have been flattered, and maybe I sort of was, but this was still a rotten thing to do to Jack and I wasn't going to let him get away with it.

Heaving a sigh, I tucked the letter back into my coat. I couldn't deal with Jim right now. Doralice would have supper ready soon and I still had to go back to Maude's for the night. My first concern was getting through the rest of the night, then I'd worry about what I was going to do about my shiftless cowardly ex-friend.

No sooner had I opened the door then I saw Doralice. "I was just coming to get you," she said. "What's wrong?"

"Nothin'," I said giving her the same forced smile I'd given Jack earlier; she wasn't as easy to convince.

"Bart." She took my arm and sort of pushed me back into the bedroom. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure yet." The look she gave me gave me told me she wasn't buying it so I tried another approach. "It's something I need to think on for a while. Will you give me until tomorrow?" Not only did I need to think about this, I didn't want Doralice to know yet. I knew this news would upset her and it would be best for everyone if she wasn't aware of the situation tonight.

She didn't look happy about it but she nodded. "If you promise to tell me in the morning."

"I will. As soon as we can get a minute to ourselves."

I put on my best face for supper and I think I did alright. If Jack noticed anything being off he didn't say anything, and Doralice seemed to be able to forget about it as well. After supper, I spent some time with the girls and helped Doralice get them ready for bed before I headed back to the saloon for the rest of the night.

Thankfully it was a quiet night and I was allowed to think about my current situation with Dandy, and by morning I was determined I was not going to let him leave Jack without a word. I'd told that boy his father was coming and he was coming, even if I had to drag him back to Little Bend myself. More than likely that's exactly what I was going to have to do. There was still the problem of me not knowing where Jim was but now, thanks to Jim himself, I had had some help with that. The letter he sent had a nice neat postmark on it. That at least gave me a starting point; hopefully, Jim wasn't going to be in too big a hurry to get out of town.

Things were peaceful enough that I managed to leave early and then I reluctantly I went home to tell Doralice what was going on. I didn't even want to imagine her reaction. Honestly, I wasn't looking forward to tarnishing her image of Jim either. She may have had her doubts at times, but I knew she'd always expected Jim to do the honorable thing. It was going to be a blow when she found out he was behaving like the cad Bret always claimed he was.

I didn't have long to worry about how I was going to destroy my wife's opinion of Dandy.

Doralice practically met me at the door when I walked in. "You didn't wait up for me, did you?" I asked with a smile.

Doralice returned the smile, but it didn't look genuine. "No, I was up with the girls earlier. I was hoping you would be home early. You did say we needed some time to ourselves."

"I did. Let's go in the bedroom." I took her hand and led her to our room. Once we were inside Doralice sat down on the edge of the bed. "Alright, what's going on?"

"I got a letter from Jim yesterday," I told her as I started to undress. There was no reason to drag this out.

"That's good, isn't it? Did he say when he was coming back?"

"Yeah," I told her as I all but ripped my shirt off. Just talking about this was making me angry again. "He's not."

There was a long moment of silence. "What?" Doralice finally asked softly.

I turned around and faced her. "He said he's not coming back. Said Jack would be better off here, with us."

Doralice stared at me in disbelief. Slowly that disbelief turned to anger and she jumped to her feet. "How can he do this?" she demanded angrily stalking back and forth across the room. "He can't just abandon that little boy?"

"He's scared," I responded flatly. It was the only thing I'd been able to come up with, and it was an understandable feeling. It didn't excuse what he was doing, but I could understand it.

"That's not an excuse," she snapped. "Doesn't he think Jack's scared too? First, he loses his mama and then he has to come here and . . . he doesn't deserve this. He needs to know his daddy cares about him. He already has doubts, this will crush him." She finally stopped pacing and stood in the middle of the room, arms crossed. "I never would have thought James was capable of something like this, something so irresponsible and . . . cowardly."

I actually winced at the venom I heard Doralice put into the word cowardly. Many times in the old days both me and Jim adamantly claimed to be cowards, it was different hearing it from my wife, however. I now knew I never wanted to hear Doralice use the word coward to describe me. I'd been afraid of tarnishing Jim's image, but I was thinking this had more tarnished it. Jim was going to have to do something big to get back into Doralice's good graces. At the moment, the only shine Dandy had left was on his boots.

"Would you like to read the letter?" I asked offering it to her.

Doralice scoffed but took the letter. The room was silent while she read and once she was done she passed it back with a sigh. "I don't believe it. What are we going to tell Jack?"

"For now, nothing."

"Bart, we can't keep this from him. Eventually, he has to know."

"No, he doesn't, because Jim's coming back. I told Jack his father was coming to see him and he's going to."

"How do you plan on getting him here? We don't know where he is."

"Well, Jim was nice enough to mail this to us." I picked up the envelope and pointed to the postmark. "I know he was in Hot Springs, Arkansas not long ago."

Doralice smiled. "You really would make a good detective, but don't you think he would have thought of that too? What makes you think he'll still be there? He could be anywhere now."

"Maybe, but I don't think so. I figure he'll think he's pretty safe now and from what I know of Hot Springs it's Dandy's kind of place. Anyway, at least it's a starting point. I thought I'd send a few telegraphs when the office opens. Even if he left, that ought to give me a general idea of where to look. Dandy isn't known for blending in; people tend to remember him."

"That could take a while."

"It could, but I'm hoping not. Are you okay with that?"

Doralice nodded. "No, you're right. Jack needs to see his father."

And Jim needed to see Jack, even if it was only once. I took a deep breath and decided to bring up the other thing I'd thought about last night. "I've been thinkin'," I told her as I crossed over to her. "I don't plan on coming back alone, but if I do, or if Jim decides to run again . . . ."

"Yes?"

I put my hands on her shoulders. "Jack needs a home, Doralice. He deserves one."

Doralice almost smiled. "And you're wondering what we do with him if you can't find James."

"Something like that."

"He seems to be doing well here. No reason to change it."

"So you won't mind if . . . ." I wasn't sure when I'd decided that I wanted Jack to stay here if Jim really did turn out to be as cowardly as he was acting now, but it had happened. I couldn't imagine turning Jack over to anyone else.

Doralice shook her head and I finally got a real smile. "No. Jack has a home here for as long as he needs it, even if it turns out to be indefinitely."

I grinned and wrapped her in a hug. "I'm glad to hear you say that."

"I'm glad to hear you say that," she told me with a chuckle. "But that doesn't mean I don't want to bring James back," she hastily added. "Jack's a good boy, and I care about him very much, but he deserves to know his father. And his father needs to see his son."

"I couldn't agree more. I have every intention of bringing his daddy back home."

Dandy was definitely coming. I may have to ride clear across the country and hogtie him, but Dandy was coming.


	18. Hot Springs (Bart)

**Hot Springs**

The next day I started making plans to go to Hot Springs and, lucky for me, the train ran right to town. Being able to take a train would save a lot of travel time and it would make for a more enjoyable ride as well. It would be a lot better than spending days on horseback, sleeping on the ground every night, and trying to live off my own cooking. I should be well rested and ready to face Jim by the time I got there, providing Dandy was in fact still there.

Doralice asked me again as I was packing up how sure I was that Dandy would remain in town. I'll admit, running off this way on nothing more than a postmark was a risk, but I was pretty sure he would still be there. Hot Springs is a spa town. It's a place filled with society folks and their society wallets. I've also heard tell of the gambling they have there. It's just the kind of place Dandy Jim could be happy in. I was also counting on the fact that Jim wouldn't realize he'd told me exactly where he was.

I'd accepted the only way I was going to get Dandy back was to drag him back, and I really didn't mind. What I did mind was leaving Doralice and the kids. Sure things were settling down, but leaving her alone with three kids was a lot. I don't think she was all that keen on me leaving either, but she understood as well as I did this was the only way so, being the wonderful woman she is, she assured me they would be fine and gave me her blessing. I had a feeling she would have a few words for James when she saw him again though.

The night before I left we decided to let Jack in on what was going on. At least I told him I was going to meet his father; obviously, I didn't give him all the details. After I delivered the news, Jack stared down at his shoes for a minute. "Is his business done?" he finally asked.

"It is," I told him. Jim had no choice but for his business to be done. If Jim wanted to take the coward's way out when this was all over, we'd deal with that when the time came. But for now, Jim was coming to Little Bend. "Is something wrong, Jack?" I asked when the boy said nothing else.

Jack looked up at me. "Do you think he'll like me?"

"Of course, he'll like you, sweetheart," Doralice was quick to tell him. "Who wouldn't like you?"

Jack shrugged. "He'll like you fine, Jack," I said. "You're a charmin' young man; just be yourself." I really hadn't seen Dandy interact with that many children but I knew if Jim could see the Jack who asked me about women's rights he'd be smitten by the precocious lad. I didn't yet know if he'd be smitten enough to accept responsibility for his son, but I had to get Dandy here first.

I left the next morning and was on a train by that afternoon. The trip to Hot Springs was uneventful and as I did every time I was on a train, I found myself marveling at what a difference the railroad made. It was just amazing to me how much faster and more comfortably trips could be made traveling by train as opposed to horseback. There were times a man just wanted to be on a horse, of course, but when time is of the essence, trains are remarkable things. They're even better when the train runs right to exactly where one needed to go.

Once I got to town I found out that most of what I'd heard about the spa town was true. It had been hit hard by both Union and Confederate troops during the war but seemed to have recovered well from the unpleasantness. I was informed almost as soon as I stepped off the train that Hot Springs was home to six different bathhouses and more than twenty hotels and boarding houses; I assumed most of those hotels would have some kind of gaming facility. I wasn't wrong with my assumption about the social class either. A quick look at the people on the streets told me most of them weren't concerned about what things cost. Yes, sir, this was exactly the kind of place Dandy would be at home in.

Despite my confidence that Dandy would have remained in town, I was overwhelmed. With more than twenty hotels, I could spend an entire day or more just trying to find one Dandy had been in. While Dandy did tend to stand out in people's minds, he would stand out less in a spa town than he would most other places. Usually, folks remember the dandified dress and the accent, but with so many people coming and going in this town on a regular basis he might not be all that noticeable. I'd just have to do the best I could.

Sighing I picked up my bag and started down the street. The first order of business was to get a room myself and I started looking for the most modest looking place I could find. I might be here a few days and I couldn't afford to live too high on the hog. I had to smile at that thought. A few short years ago I would have been more concerned with appearances than practicality. I do still enjoy the finer things in life, but settling down had given me a new appreciation for a dollar and sometimes sacrifices have to be made. I still wanted something nice, but I was willing to bypass the hotels that were obviously out of my price range, and those were likely the exact places Dandy would head.

I finally found what I was looking for a couple of blocks off of bathhouse row. Compared to a lot of the dusty little towns I'd been in during my traveling days it was an impressive hotel, but modest in composition to some of the others I'd seen since getting off the train. I walked inside and was pleased with what I saw. If the lobby was any indication, I would be comfortable here for a day or two.

Getting a room was easy enough. I started out with two nights, figuring I would need at least that but not wanting to pay too far in advance. I didn't plan on hanging around long after I found Jim. Once I settled in, I went back out and explored the town some more. I didn't have much of a plan for locating Jim except just looking around. It wasn't a great plan, but since I had no more information than I did, I wasn't sure what else to do.

I spent the rest of the day walking around and getting the lay of the land. I asked about good restaurants and if there were any good games to be had. I received a few suggestions that sounded promising and by the time I was ready for dinner, I had a few places I planned on checking out the next day. After I ate I went back to my room and got a good night's sleep. Even though I was very aware of the fact I hadn't been sleeping well the last couple of months I hadn't realized just how much sleep I'd been losing. I'd forgotten what a full night's sleep felt like and by the time I got up the next day, I was in a better mood and felt ready to take on anything Dandy might throw at me when I found him.

I had no luck on my first day. I walked and kept an eye out for Jim but saw nothing of him. I went to a few gaming rooms as well, and again, no sign of him. I also dropped some casual questions throughout the day but no one remembered seeing anyone who matched Dandy's description. I was feeling a little discouraged by the end of the day. I knew I didn't have the best plan but it seemed strange that no one knew anything about Jim. Actually, I was afraid Jim had left and I was looking for someone who wasn't even here. In that case, I wouldn't have much choice but simply go home and tell Jack his father wasn't coming. I'd swore I wouldn't do that, but if Jim had left, he could literally be anywhere and I couldn't run around the country randomly hoping to run into him. I finally pushed the negative thoughts away and decided I had at least one more day to look. If I had no success tomorrow I might be forced to reevaluate everything, but I wasn't going to worry about that until tomorrow.

I enjoyed another full night of sleep and got up the next day with renewed vigor. I'd go into every single one of the twenty-four hotels and boarding houses if I had to, but if Jim was in Hot Springs, I was going to find him. And I had to do it soon, not just for Jack's sake, but my own. As much as I'd enjoyed the extra sleep I'd been getting since being away, I missed my girls; the little ones and the big one.

The first part of the day was another bust, but I hit pay dirt during a late lunch, and quite by accident. I was in the dining room of one of the less expressive hotels finishing up my coffee when I overheard a snippet of conversation that made my whole trip worthwhile. I was in the back of the room and heard two of the maids discussing the mysterious Mister Buckley. Apparently, Mister Buckley didn't come out of his room often and was becoming quite a topic of conversation around the hotel's employees. Honestly, I didn't hang around to hear much of what they said; I was in too big a hurry to get to the lobby. Sure, this could have been any Mister Buckley, but this the first real lead I'd gotten, and I wanted to follow up on it as soon as possible.

Once in the lobby, I looked over at the desk and smiled. A young lady was working and I felt confident I could find out exactly what I needed to know. I may be married, but I still know a thing or two about charming a lady. I walked over and gave her my best smile and could tell that she rather liked what she saw.

"May I help you?" she asked.

"I certainly hope so." I did my best to look sheepish. "I'm supposed to be meeting a client here and don't remember his room number. Any chance you could tell me? Buckley. James Buckley."

Her smile dimmed a bit when she heard the name Buckley and I would put money on the fact she'd been instructed not to tell anyone that number. It sounded like Dandy. "I'm not really supposed to give out that information, Mister . . . ."

"Mansfield. Bartley J. Mansfield." I wasn't sure who I was pretending to be but I've used the name before and it does sound more professional than Bart Maverick.

"Mister Mansfield, I'm afraid Mister Buckley has left instructions not to be disturbed."

"I understand, but Mister Buckley is expecting me."

"Oh." She looked unsure of what she should do. "He didn't leave any word . . . ."

I sighed. "I see you're very conscientious in your job Miss . . . ."

"Collins."

"Miss Collins." I sighed and tried to look guilty. "I have to be honest. Mister Buckley isn't expecting me. We were to meet in Dallas next month, but something has come up and it's very important I speak to him right away." I lowered my voice and gave her what Pappy and Bret call my puppy dog eyes. "It's about his son."

"Oh." I could see she was now giving serious consideration to what I said.

"Mister Buckley hasn't seen his son for some time," I added hoping she had some kind of maternal instinct.

"Is something wrong?" she asked her eyes widening.

I chuckled. "Sort of. Nothing life or death mind you, but it is important for young master Buckley to see his father soon." I was doing my best not to lie to her. What I was telling her might not count as the whole truth, but it wasn't exactly a lie. "See, Mister Buckley has been traveling taking care of a personal matter and it's been rather difficult to locate him these last few weeks, but I recently received a telegram that he is staying here."

The girl bit her lip and dropped her eyes. When she looked back at me she gave me a shy smile. "Well, yes, Mister Buckley is here."

I gave what Bret says is a killer smile. "Excellent. I was hoping I could catch up with him. The matter is far too complex to explain in a telegram. If you'll just give his room number I can run along and speak to him."

"Well, as I said, I'm not really supposed to give out that information . . . ."

For a moment I was afraid she was going to refuse and I wondered if I was either getting old or losing my charm. "I understand, Miss Collins, and I don't want you to do anything you aren't supposed to but I'm afraid if this isn't handled soon, it will be too late."

"You did say his son?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"That would be something he would want to know about."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Well, under the circumstances he's in two-eighteen."

"Thank you so much, Miss Collins." I winked before walking off. "No one will know where I got my information from." It was nice to know the charm still worked.

I climbed the stairs and made my way down the hall to room two-eighteen. I knocked on the door without saying a word and waited. When I didn't hear any sound that indicated there was anyone in the room I knocked again, louder this time. I finally heard someone moving around and the door opened a crack.

"Mister Martin, the rent has been paid through the end of the week. I thought I made it clear I . . . ." The rant abruptly ended as Jim got a good look at me. "Bart."

That wasn't quite what I'd been expecting. I almost expected Jim to slam the door in my face and barricade the door, but he just stood there. "Jim," I said.

A very pregnant pause followed and I took a good look at the man in front of me. He didn't look like Dandy. He didn't look bad or run down, just plain. No bright colors or flashy prints, no waistcoat, no tie or cravat of any kind. Nothing but plain black trousers and a white shirt, with the sleeves rolled up at that. It had been a while since I'd seen him that relaxed.

After a moment, he opened the door and fully stepped back into the room. I took the open door as an unspoken invitation to enter and did just that, closing the door behind me.

Jim walked over to the sideboard in the corner and pulled out a decanter and two glasses. Only then did he look at me again. "I haven't forgotten your temperate stance but under the circumstances . . . ." He held up the decanter.

I shook my head. "I don't need it."

Jim sighed heavily. "I do." He poured himself a glass and sat in one of the room's chairs. "Please, sit. We might as well have some measure of comfort."

I did sit and I waited for him to say something; after a minute of silence, I decided to start. "What are you doin' here, Jim?"

"This," Dandy said holding up his glass. He then took a look around the room. "This is how most of my days have been spent lately."

I looked at the man in front of me; I couldn't believe that. Dandy's not a sot, he's not even that big a drinker; one thing he understands is the benefit of a clear head. He wasn't drunk now and it didn't look as though he'd been drunk in the recent past. Maybe he'd been up here hiding, but I didn't for a moment believe he'd been up here drinking his days away. "I don't believe that."

Dandy stared at me with those dark eyes he'd given his son. "You don't have to waste time on pleasantries, Bart. We both know why you're here and I'm sure you have plenty to say so why don't you say it." He took a sip of his drink. "I'll warn you, however, I doubt you can call me anything I haven't already called myself."

"What happened, Jim? I mean the whole story."

"I was notified of the . . . situation about three months back. I received a letter from Winters. And Lenora. "

"His mother?" The only answer I got was a nod. "Alright, you said you were goin' to St. Louis. This isn't St. Louis and as far as I can tell you have been there recently."

Jim took another sip. "Yes, well, about that. I needed some time to clear my head; resign myself to my fate as it were. I was on my way to St. Louis when . . . I made it to Hendersonville before I turned around and started back."

"Back? Then you really were coming back."

"Yes."

"Why?"

He shrugged and chuckled humorlessly. "I'd resigned myself to my fate. However, the closer I got the more preposterous the notion became. "

"Okay, why'd you have him sent to Little Bend to start with?"

Jim gave me one of those looks of his, the one that says what he's saying should be as plain as day. "Isn't it obvious, old boy? I have many ladies I can call on for company, many acquaintances, even those I could call on if I needed help in a swindle, but there aren't many I can count as . . . ." Jim stopped and stared down at his drink. "A friend," he finally said quietly. He looked back up. "I trust you more than anyone else. Who else would I leave my son with?"

I'd spent nearly a month with Jack. He looked like Jim and I'd heard him mention his father many times. It was still sort of a jolt to hear Jim reference his son, however. "You sent him to me because you trust me?"

"Of course; I stated as much in my letter. There's no one else I'd trust him to. Lenora wanted him cared for. Who else could I count on to do that?"

I sort of smiled. Jim had been sneaky and underhanded but really it was flattering to know I was the one person Jim would trust his child with. I would prefer a different expression of his faith in me but Jim's never been conventional. "Tell me about his mother," I said genuinely curious about the woman who'd gotten Jim to agree to take a child.

"There's not much to tell. Her name was Lenora and we met in Biloxi; I knew her three or four months."

"And?"

Jim shrugged. "And the result of our time together is obvious."

"Did you love her?"

"Of course not." The answer came a little too quickly. I didn't say anything but just waited. Jim sighed. "Maybe . . . perhaps. In some way or another."

I wasn't expecting that. I'd never heard Jim even come close to admitting he might have that kind of feelings for anyone. "So tell me about her."

"She was . . . different."

I could easily believe that. After having spent as much time with Jack as I had, and knowing Dandy like I do, the young lady couldn't be anything but unconventional. "That's it? Just different?"

"You must understand the women I knew in England, Bart. They were all primed for advantages marriages, all followed this strict set of rules for how they should behave and what they could and couldn't do. They were proper almost to the point of being dull. The women I first met here were quite a pleasant change. They were so much more independent and less docile if you will. The further west I got the truer that became." Dandy heaved a sigh. "But when I met Lenora, she was unlike any woman I've ever known, even all the American women I'd know." Jim took another drink and when he spoke again his voice had dropped considerably. "She was independent and passionate, unconventional almost to the point of being scandalous, and the way her mind worked." Jim stopped and a wistful smile coming to his face.

I was stunned but pleased with what I was hearing. There was admiration in Dandy's tone even if there wasn't affection, which I still wasn't sure if that was the case. "She sounds remarkable."

"Oh, she was that, my friend."

I fought back a smile. If Jim hadn't held some kind of affection for Jack's mother I knew nothing about love. "I still don't understand why you accepted him just to send him somewhere else?"

Jim sighed. "Once I was told of Lenora's wishes, I couldn't see the boy sent away. Her son had to be taken care of. I knew you'd see to that."

"Winters said you never denied he was yours."

Jim shrugged. "There was no point in that. I have no doubt I fathered the boy. Lenora was not the kind for drama; she would not have provided my name if she wasn't sure. His age also lines up with the time Lenora and I kept company together. I'm confident there were no other men for her during that period."

I was surprised at the detail Dandy had just given me, but it seemed there was no doubt Jack was his son. I thought about my next words for a while before I said anything. "You said you sent him to me because I would see to it that he was taken care of."

"And I've no doubt that you've done just that."

"I have. But I can't keep him, Jim. Not indefinitely."

Jim sighed. "I know. Granted I'd hoped you see the good sense in my solution and allow me to bow out gracefully, but I didn't really think you would."

"So what do you plan to do?"

Jim walked to the window and gazed out of it. "I don't know that either. That's what I've been contemplating for days now."

"I think you do know," I said getting to my feet. "I talked to Winters before he left and he told me a couple of things, things I'm sure you already know. I can't keep him and you said you didn't want him in a home. That doesn't leave a lot of options, Jim."

Dandy dropped his head against the window. "Bart . . . ."

"It really leaves only one."

"Look at me, Bart." Jim turned back around. "What woman in her right mind would leave her child with me?"

"A woman who loved you."

"You're a romantic, Bart, but we didn't love each other."

"You sure about that."

Jim gave me a look then smiled sadly. "Quite sure. Oh, there was some affection perhaps, respect maybe, but nothing so permanent as love. Neither one of us could have stood that."

Maybe I was a romantic but Jim would never convince me he felt nothing for Jack's mother; a man didn't agree to take on a child just because he'd enjoyed the time spent with a woman. Jim was either refusing to see things as they were or he didn't know enough about love to see what was in front of him. Either one was possible but I wasn't going to debate it; there was a more pressing matter to address. "Maybe a woman who didn't want to see him in a home," I offered. While I'll agree Jim wouldn't be my first choice of guardian for my girls, he was better than a home somewhere.

Jim sank back down in his chair. "She didn't."

"No, I think she wanted him with his father."

Jim dropped his head into his hands. "I don't know anything about raising a child, Bart, and I have no business trying. That's why I sent him to the best man I know."

"I'm flattered but it doesn't change the fact I can't keep him, or the fact his mother wanted him with his father."

"Father," Jim muttered shaking his head.

He fell silent after that and I could tell he was deep in thought. I hoped I was right about the direction his thoughts were going. "I haven't been a father very long, but my girls have taught me one thing, a kid can change your life by just existing."

"That's precisely what I'm afraid of."

"He just lost his mama, Jim; the only family he had. He's just lookin' for somebody to love him."

Jim looked back up at me. "Don't you understand, Bart? I'm not sure I can do that."

I was still taking it as a good sign Jim hadn't completely shut down or refused to come back at all. I really felt Jim was conflicted right now. He was still Dandy and therefore had the urge to run, but I was sure there was a part of him that really wanted to at least meet Jack. I was hoping that part wanted to do far more than meet him, but that was a start.

"Why don't you come back to Little Bend with me? Just meet him, talk to him . . . ."

Jim stood up and walked back to the window. "And what will that prove?"

"It won't prove anything, but you agreed to take him. It seems like meeting him is the first step."

"Do I have a choice?"

"No."

"Bart, I . . . I can't make any promises."

That's what I was afraid of, and my understanding was starting to wear thin. Jim had agreed to this. He could have refused, denied Jack was his, who would or could have questioned it? But he hadn't done that. He'd agreed to take charge of Jack and then he'd suckered me into doing his dirty work. Frankly, at this point, I didn't care if Jim was scared or uncertain. He was going to own up to this and come back with me one way or another. "You owe me, Dandy." The words didn't exactly sound friendly, and I gave a Beauregard look my best shot. I must have gotten my point across because Jim grimaced when he turned back to face me again.

"Yes, well, I suppose I do."

"Then start packin'. We're pulling out first thing in the morning."


	19. The Meeting (Jim)

**The Meeting**

Close to an hour later Bart was still in my room. Talk had ceased some time ago and we were doing little more than staring at one another. To say the situation had rather quickly grown tiresome was an understatement. "Do you intend for us to simply sit here the rest of the night?"

"I intend for you to get on that train tomorrow."

"And I will." Given some things that have happened in the past I don't suppose I could blame Bart for wanting to keep a watch on me, but that didn't mean I liked having a keeper. I'm not a child after all, nor am I completely untrustworthy.

Bart smiled. "I know."

"Without you standing over me all night," I said tensely. I resented the implication that he needed to guard me. There may have been times I would have rabbited away in the night, but I know Bart well enough to know he wasn't in a mood to be trifled with. If I ran, he'd only follow me.

Bart chuckled and actually looked apologetic. "Just trying to remove any temptation you might have to run."

"Believe me, Bart; I'm smart enough to know running wouldn't do me any good. If you followed me this far, you'll do it again." I meant that too. I'd held some vain hope that Bart would see the good sense in my solution and keep the boy in Texas but I'd always known he wouldn't. If he'd been willing to come this far already, he'd be willing to keep right on going.

"I guess we could go get something to eat. You up to it?"

"Why not? It's certainly better than sitting here staring at the walls. Would you object to my changing before we leave?"

Bart shook his head. "Go right ahead."

"Do you have any objection to allowing me to do so without an audience?" Bart looked as though he was going to protest and I sighed heavily. "Really, Bart, do you think I'm going to try to spirit away through the window?"

"I think you could."

"Of course I could, but I won't."

Bart gave me a hard look and I met his gaze head-on. Truly, I didn't have it in me to run any further. Good Lord, what was happening to me? That boy had kept me in turmoil for weeks as it was. Was he now changing how I thought? I discarded the notion as soon as it came to mind. It was Bart keeping me here, not the boy. "If I recall, you threatened to shoot me once if I ran off," I said casually. "I don't doubt the threat remains."

Bart stared at me blankly then broke into a grin as he remembered what I was talking about. "I just might at that."

I grunted in reply. The threat in question was made during one of our first meetings. I had played a part in getting dear brother Bret arrested and Bart was determined I was going to help get him out. He'd said he'd track me down and shoot me if I disappeared on him and for some reason, I'd believed him; I'd also helped get Bret released. Being shot would likely have been more enjoyable but I'd done my part and by the time it was over I'd actually become rather fond of Bart. Now here we were and I was sure Bart would be just as willing to shoot me now as he'd been then; perhaps even more willing.

Bart stood. "Sorry, Dandy, I guess maybe I am being a little heavy-handed. I'll wait for you in the hall."

Once Bart was gone I went about trying to make myself presentable. It had been days since I'd stepped out of my room and therefore days since I'd taken any real care with my appearance but I wasn't going out looking like some commoner. I didn't feel like drawing too much attention to myself so I kept my outfit rather plain by donning a blue and silver brocade vest and black string tie. I finished by slipping on a dark blue coat. Plain, as I said, but elegant.

"Know of any good restaurants?" Bart asked after I joined him again.

"I'm spent most of my time here in my room," I told him. "I'm afraid I'm terribly ill-informed on the local eateries."

"I guess we can ask around downstairs."

"Yes, I'll need to inform them I'll be checking out tomorrow anyway. I'm paid up through the end of the week." I gave Bart a sideways look. "I do hope they'll be kind enough to grant me a refund." Bart made no reply to that and I got the impression he didn't particularly care if I received my money or not.

We went to the front desk where Bart asked about a good restaurant. The young lady told us of a couple that sounded promising and I then informed her I would be checking out in the morning. She assured me I would be reimbursed for the nights I'd already paid for, then she shared a knowing look with Bart.

"Might I assume I have the young lady to thank for disclosing my location to you?" I asked as we left the hotel.

"You may," Bart replied with a smirk.

"You always did have a way of charming the ladies."

"Yes, but I didn't charm her; I appealed to her maternal instincts. Once I told her it involved your son, she was only too happy to tell me where you were."

I grimaced at the word son. After all these weeks it still made me fell ill at ease.

Dinner turned out to be a pleasant enough affair. The food was good, and for the most part, the conversation was tolerable. Bart even ordered a bottle of wine. I didn't know if it was for his benefit or mine, but it was a good selection on his part, full-bodied and not too sweet. Naturally, Bart couldn't let the good times last and as we were finishing up he started speaking of Little Bend and what was waiting for me there. Unfortunately, it wasn't just the boy, but Bart's lovely wife as well. It seemed she wasn't too happy with me at the moment and while I understood, it was still distressing news. She was a charming woman and it had never been my intention to upset her. I'd just have to find some way of making it up to her.

By the time Mrs. Maverick became the topic of conversation; I'd had enough talk and was ready to stare at the walls of my room again. I made the suggestion of retiring to Bart and he thankfully agreed. We were silent as we walked back to the hotel and I stopped Bart at the front door. "There is no need for you to accompany me back up," I said. "I know where my room is and I'm more than capable of meeting you down here in the morning." Bart hesitated and I fought down my irritation telling myself I deserved his distrust. "Bart," I said with a sigh. "I'm not going to run. You have my word."

"Yeah, I remember what happened the last time you gave me your word. It had something to do with a package."

"I believe I gave you my word that I wasn't involving you in anything illegal. And did I?"

"No, but . . . ."

"I'm now giving you my word that I will meet you here at whatever time you choose, ready to accompany you back to Little Bend."

Bart seemed to consider the situation and then nodded. "The train leaves at ten. Let's meet at Eight; we can get breakfast before we leave."

"That's agreeable. Good night." With that, I spun on my heel and hurried inside before Bart could change his mind. Odd as it may seem, I really did plan on leaving with him. I was still hoping I might be able to convince him that the boy would be better off in the Maverick home than with me, but I would at least speak to the child. Besides, convincing Bart he needed to keep the boy would be easier face to face. I needed to make amends with the lovely Doralice as well.

Sleep didn't come easily that night and by dawn, I'd given up trying. It didn't take me long to gather my things and I had no problem being in the lobby at the appointed time. I could tell Bart was surprised when he walked in and saw me waiting, but he smiled.

"Ready?" he asked.

"All my affairs here are completed if that is what you're asking," I replied unwilling to say I was ready. I wasn't ready, but there was nothing keeping me here.

We left my hotel, and what followed was little more than a blur. I truly don't remember much of the journey back to Texas. Bart and I didn't talk much and the boy filled all my thoughts, making me more and more apprehensive the closer out destination became. I tried to tell myself I was being irrational and going back to Little Bend didn't mean I was committing to anything. Meeting the boy, talking to him, didn't mean I was signing my life away. In fact, meeting him was most likely what would be necessary for Bart to agree that my plan had been the best one all along. There just wasn't any way Bart would be able to say the boy would be better off with me once he saw us together. I'm a selfish, untrustworthy drifter. There's no way I could be an even partially decent father. I simply had to find a way to convince Bart of that.

It was late afternoon when we finally arrived in back in Little Bend and I was in no way prepared for a meeting with the boy. I was about to make a case to Bart when he actually suggested we postpone the meeting until the next day. He must have seen my look of surprise because he quickly gave me a reason saying it would better for both me and the boy to be rested before meeting. He also mentioned it had been over a week since he'd seen his wife and daughters so I suspect waiting was for his benefit more than mine.

"You don't have any doubts about me remaining in town if you take your eyes off me?" I asked sarcastically as Bart passed over the key for the room he'd secured for me

"Nah," Bart replied. "If you haven't tried yet, I don't think you will." He flashed me a wicked grin. "But if you think you might have the urge, I can have Bret come keep an eye on you."

I shot Bart a sharp look. "Really, Bart, I thought we were friends."

"Which is why I'm choosing to trust you. That and I know you aren't going to want Doralice any madder at you than she already is."

He had me there; it did pain me to know the dear lady was put out with me. "It's appreciated," I told him honestly. "As is the time you're allowing me to gather my thoughts."

Bart tipped his hat. "I'll see you tomorrow, Jim."

The next several hours consisted of me walking the floor, trying to figure out what on earth I would say to the boy, and wondering just how hard it would be to convince Bart to keep the boy here. Naturally, I received no answers, nor did I have any when Bart knocked on my door about eleven the next day.

"Ready?" he asked for too brightly.

"Not at all."

"He doesn't bite, Jim."

"Perhaps not, but I have very limited knowledge of children and how to deal with them."

"Just talk to him. He wants to meet you."

I grunted noncommittally and led the way out of the hotel, wondering if that were true.

Once outside Bart informed me he'd taken the boy to the saloon. He thought it would be more neutral ground for us, and give us more privacy than his home would. Personally, I didn't care where the meeting took place, but I did feel a moment of alarm when I found out he was at the saloon. "Did you leave him there alone?" I asked. Evan as the question left my lips I wondered why it mattered to me. It was simply out of the question that it had anything to do with any connection the two of us might have.

Bart looked at me, eyebrow raised. "No, Bret's watching him."

"Bret? Your brother Bret?"

Bart grinned. "Jack seems to like him."

I rolled my eyes wondering at the boy's lack of judgment before reminding myself he was still a mere child. One couldn't expect him to be very discerning just yet. Still, one would hope one's child had better taste. I then found out even thinking of _my child_ made my stomach flip; by the time we reached the saloon, I almost felt like having another meeting with my breakfast. This anxiety was a new feeling for me. In my life, I've stood in front of headmasters, landlords, proprietors, women, the old lovers of young ladies, the not so old lovers of young ladies, assorted unscrupulous men looking for money, and my own father, and none of them had affected me this way. How was it possible for a six-year-old boy to make me so nervous?

Once we arrived Bart went to his office to prepare the boy for me and Bret came strolling out. I considered his appearance to be the perfect way to round out the morning and judging from his eye roll and an exasperated sigh he felt the same. "Buckley," he greeted stiffly. "I see he finally managed to drag you back."

I smiled at him brightly, something I knew would irritate him. "I'm sure you'll be disappointed to know there was very little dragging involved. I agreed to come back and I was even allowed to stay by myself last night, just like a big boy."

"Yeah, well, Bart's always had a bad habit of bein' too trustin'."

"And yet here I stand," I replied with a smirk. "Waiting to do exactly what I told him I would do from the beginning."

That seemed to throw the elder Maverick off and he sent me a glare before pushing past me and stalking off towards the barroom. I allowed myself to feel some satisfaction at running him off, but it was short-lived. As soon as Bart reopened the door to his office I felt that knot settle again. Steeling myself, I stepped into the room and found the boy over by the sofa in the corner. Frankly, I wasn't prepared for what I saw. One look and any remaining doubt I had that this child had come from my loins vanished. Bart was right; he did look like me. It was nearly like looking in a mirror.

"Jim," Bart said taking my arm and all but pushing me across the room. "This is Jack." I think he said something else as well but I was too caught up looking at the boy to pay attention to it.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Jasper," I said, pleased my voice was steady. I held out my hand and he eyed it uncertainly before reaching for it.

"Jack," he said softly.

"Sorry, what?"

"Mama called me Jack." He sort of smiled. "She only called me Jasper when she was mad."

I tried to smile myself. "I understand the sentiment. Often times at home I was only called James when someone was angry. I'm certainly not angry with you so would it be alright if I called you Jack?"

The boy nodded and I was reminded of the portrait my mother had insisted my siblings and I sit for when I'd been a boy. I had been about his age too, if I remember right. That thought didn't help me know what to say next, however. I glanced back at Bart hoping for some help, but he'd already left the room. He'd said the boy and I needed time alone, but I hadn't thought he'd disappear so quickly. It seemed I was on my own after all.

"Shall we sit down?" I asked motioning towards the sofa. Again all I got was a nod but the boy sat and I did likewise. "Jack," I said once I was seated. "I'm . . . well, I'm your . . . ."

"I know who you are," Jack said softly.

"I apologize it took me so long to get here."

The boy just shrugged. "Why are you here?"

"Sorry?"

The boy finally looked back up at me, and this time his eyes were full of sadness. "Mama told me about you."

That knot in my stomach grew. "She did, eh. What did she tell you?" I wasn't sure he could have been told anything a boy his age actually needed to hear.

"She said you . . . she said you couldn't stay with us, that you wouldn't be coming back to see us."

"I see."

"So why are you here now?"

"Well, I did come to see you."

"Oh." He sounded disappointed. "It's nice to meet you."

To be frank I'd hoped for something a little more than that but I don't suppose I could fault him for being less than enthused to see me. "It's nice to meet you too, Jack. Your mother may have given you information about me but I was never told about you."

"Mama's dead," he said softly.

"Yes, I know. I was very sorry to hear about that."

The boy looked at me again and to my absolute horror, I saw his eyes wet with tears. I didn't know what I would do if the boy were to actually start crying. Once again I cursed that Bart had darted out of the room. I don't know how much experience he's had with children, but I know it's more than me. Thankfully, the boy composed himself rather quickly and "I miss her," was all he said.

"I'm sure you do. Mothers are very special to boys."

He sighed heavily then. "Am I goin' with you when you leave?"

That was the question everyone was asking, wasn't it? "Is that what you want?"

Another shrug and I'll admit to being disappointed he hadn't said no. I knew what Bart wanted, but surely he couldn't object to keeping Jack if it was what the boy wanted. No matter what Bart claimed, no one could really believe the boy would be better off with me.

"Mama talked about you a lot," the boy said.

"Did she?" I was surprised. I won't say I never thought of Lenora. I did, and quite often. A man simply doesn't forget a woman like Lenora, and I'd hoped she hadn't forgotten about me. I do have my pride after all, and one likes to think one leaves an impression, but I never would have guessed I'd left that kind of impression. Then I looked back to the boy and realized I'd left her with much more than an impression. With a daily living reminder of our time together, it was only natural for Lenora to talk. But what had she said?

"Sometimes I think she wished you would come to see us."

"I . . . I didn't know that." That statement was almost as big a surprise as the boy sitting across from me. Lenora had all but told me to leave when I had. Not that I had desired to stay permanently, but I might have stayed longer if Lenora hadn't encouraged me to move on. She claimed in her letter she hadn't wanted me to know about the boy before and I could almost understand that. Even I can't say how I would have reacted to the news of a child had I found out under other circumstances. Perhaps it was easier for Lenora to think kindly of me if she kept me ignorant of the fact she was carrying my child.

"Would you have come to see us if you'd known?" Jack pressed giving me a hard look.

"Well . . . yes, I suppose so." Who knows whether I would have or not, I highly doubted it, but I couldn't expect the boy to understand that. Yes seemed like the safe answer even if it wasn't the truth.

An uncomfortable silence settled between us and I had no idea what else to say. Meanwhile, Jack looked around the room biting his lip. "Can-can I go outside now?" he asked at length.

"Yes, if you'd like."

The boy all but sighed with relief and practically ran out the door. I guess the meeting was as nerve-racking for him as it was for me.

Scarcely had the boy left before I heard a knock on the day and Bart appeared. "Everything okay?"

"Of course," I said as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. One thing I can do is lie.

"Oh, I saw Jack run out. I thought somethin' might have happened."

I gave him a wan smile. "I think he was rather in a hurry to exit."

Bart nodded. "Any problems?"

"None at all," I told him as I stood. "I just don't think he was particularly comfortable with me." No more than I was with him it seemed.

"Like father like son, huh?"

I looked at Bart sharply, the words too closely mirroring my own thoughts, even if I wouldn't have used those particular familial terms. "Merely a matter of us both being unprepared for the other." The meeting had been . . . I wasn't really sure what it had been. Then again I wasn't sure I'd expected either. So the boy hadn't wanted to be alone with me, I couldn't blame him and it all would have been just as awkward if he'd wanted some sappy father/son moment.

Bart sighed. "Jim, I think it's time we had a serious talk about all this. That little boy's been waiting for you for weeks now."

"I know."

"So what are you gonna do about it?"

"You're still of the opinion he'd be better off with me?"

"With his father? Yes. I can take care of him, but I'm not his father."

"And what makes you believe I can be?"

"What makes you so sure you can't?"

I scoffed wondering why Bart felt he even needed to ask. "I never had any plans to be a father."

"Then why'd you accept him?"

"As soon as I discover why you'll be the first to know."

"Well, you better decide what you're gonna do about it. See that boy out there's been waiting for his daddy, and I think his daddy owes him an explanation."

"Yes, well, I'll bear that in mind."

"I mean it, Jim. If you decide to run like a coward, you're gonna have to look him in the eye and tell him about it, because I won't. And if you run off again, I'll just drag you right back. Or just bring along to start with."

I looked at the man I'd always considered a friend and wondered if I'd done something in the past he felt I needed to pay me for. That was the only logical reason I could come up with for his insistence I keep the boy. He couldn't believe I was really capable of doing this. "I'd like some time to think. If you don't mind." Bart looked at me suspiciously and I fought the urge to roll my eyes. "For the last time, I have no intentions of leaving."

Bart finally nodded. "Alright. If I'm not here, I'll be at the house."

"I remember where it is."

Bart started to leave and then turned back around. "Supper's at 6, if you'd like to join us."

"All of you?" I asked wondering if that meant the boy as well.

"All of us," Bart replied with a smile. "You might as well; you're going to have to get used to him sooner or later."

"What a charming thought. I'll see you at six."

"Hey, Dandy," Bart called as I was leaving. "The river's a pretty nice spot to think. At least it always has been for me."

I could tell Bart was being sincere and I truly appreciated the gesture. I smiled and tipped my hat. "Thanks, old boy." With that, I headed out to see if the river was as kind to me as she was Bart.


	20. The Best Thing (Bart)

**The Best Thing**

It was a conflicted man I watched leave my office, a very conflicted man. I'd hoped from the start that before this was over Jim would man up and do what he needed to do, and I was starting to believe he would. Odd as it would sound to anyone who'd ever had dealings with Dandy in the past, I had a feeling Jim really did want his son. I also knew he wasn't going to easily admit that to anyone, including himself. I guess that was an understandable way to feel; I'm sure the desire to keep Jack had taken Dandy by surprise, he may not even have recognized it for what it was yet. One thing I was confident of, however, was that if Jim did decide to run, it wouldn't be easy for him.

Even though there were some things that needed my attention at the saloon, I decided to make them wait a little longer and go home for a bit. Doralice was still put out by Jim and what he'd done to Jack, but her attitude had softened some since I'd told her of how relatively easy it'd been to get Dandy back. Suspecting what I did now, I just had to talk to her.

Making sure there was nothing pressing at the saloon I needed to deal with, I went back to the house and found Doralice doing some cleaning. "I take it the meeting didn't go well?" she said as soon as she saw me.

"What makes you say that?"

"Jack came in about twenty minutes ago, alone. He didn't look happy." I could tell that wasn't helping Dandy any.

"Where is he now?" I asked.

"With Bret. He came in a few minutes after Jack did and offered to take him for a ride. Jack was onlt too happy to go."

"You know, for a man who's never talked much about having a family, he's really good at this." My brother has always maintained he wouldn't marry until he was 38 and I don't think he was ever serious about those twelve little Mavericks he promised Pappy. Bret's always appeared to be very happy as a bachelor so it's always been hard for me to imagine him as a family man. Even now he doesn't seem to be in a hurry to move things forward with his Lady Love. He handled Maudie and Belle just fine, however, and he seemed to have a way with Jack too. I guess he'll have plenty of practice if he ever does get around to settling down.

Doralice smiled. "Jack's easy once he opens up to you." Her face clouded some. "I wish someone else could experience that."

"I'm doing my best to move it along."

"I know you are. Unfortunately, you can't make someone care about another person. Where is he anyway?"

"Taking a walk; said he needed to think."

"I'll bet he does. I wish . . . I don't know, Bart. I just can't imagine anyone being willing to give their child up. Jack doesn't deserve that. He needs to know someone loves him."

"I agree, and I think he will before this is over."

"You really believe that?"

I nodded. "Yes, I do. I don't think making the decision to leave him here was easy for Jim. I think he's having an even harder time with it now. Speaking of children, where are ours?"

Doralice broke into a grin. "Sleeping."

I couldn't hide my surprise. "Both of them?"

"Both of them."

"At the same time?"

"At the same time."

I sat down on the sofa, my desire to talk about Dandy vanishing in light of the phenomenon that my girls could actually coordinate their sleep. "That's amazing."

"It's certainly made things easier today," she said as she went about her cleaning.

I leaned back and closed my eyes. "It's so quiet."

Doralice sighed contentedly. "Isn't it?"

"I feel like we should take advantage of this somehow but I'm not sure what to do."

Doralice chuckled. "I know what you mean." A minute passed with no sound other than Doralice dusting, then she called my name.

I lifted my head. "Huh?"

"Did you really mean that? About taking advantage of the quiet."

"Of course; between Jack and the girls it hasn't been this quiet in months."

"What did you have in mind?"

"Oh, I don't know. It'd almost be nice just to sit here."

Doralice crossed the room and sat down beside me, taking my hand in hers. "That's one option, but you look a little tired."

"Not really."

"You do. I think you need a nap."

I looked at my wife in confusion. "I'm fine. I've actually been sleepin' pretty good since Maudie's decided she doesn't have to scream all night every night. And last night . . . ."

"Bart," Doralice cut in. She took my face in her hands and looked me in the eye. "You look tired. I think you should lie down." She smiled at me coyly. "In fact, why don't we both go lay down?"

"Oh," I said softly realizing what kind of nap she was suggesting and feeling stupid that I hadn't thought of that before. "Really?" It had been months since I'd been with my wife, and now that she'd mentioned it I was filled with the desire to have every inch of her against me again.

"Jack's not here. The girls are asleep." She picked up my hand and brushed her lips across my fingers, her eyes telling me her desire was just as strong as mine.

My grin now matched hers. "I'm feeling a little tired at that."

"I thought so."

Taking my hand, Doralice pulled me up and led me back to the bedroom. I'd no sooner shut the door than she threw herself in my arms and started kissing me hungrily. Before long we were on the bed and she was reminding me of just how delightful a woman could be. She was also making me marvel at the fact that I'd never really truly appreciated that delightfulness until I'd met her.

"I'd forgotten just how good you feel," I told her sometime later as she lay in my arms. Out of all the advice my father and uncle had bestowed on me before the girls were born, no one had bothered to tell me how hard it was going to be to get some time alone with my wife once there were little ones. It was nice to be reminded of just how much fun Doralice and I could have together.

"Likewise," Doralice said snuggling closer to me.

"So having twins hasn't made you want to stay away from me forever?" There had been a few times while she was giving birth and in the days immediately following I'd wondered if she'd ever let me touch her again.

Doralice laughed. "Not even close. We might even try this having a baby thing again one day. But I wouldn't mind if it stayed at just one next time."

"You'll get no arguments from me."

She chuckled but soon fell quiet and I wondered what she was thinking. I found out when she sighed and spoke again. "What did happen between James and Jack today?"

"I'm not really sure. I wasn't there for most of it; I thought they could use some time alone. They'd been together maybe fifteen minutes when I saw Jack run out and head this way. Did he say anything?"

She shook her head. "Not really; just that he'd seen his father. Bret came in soon after that and they left. What about James?"

"Nothing. He said they were unprepared for each other. He did seem a little rattled though. That's when he told me he needed to think."

"Why would he agree to take Jack if he didn't want him?"

"I've been asking myself that since this started. I think he does want him, or at least he wants to want him, but that also scares him to death. Does that make sense?"

Doralice nodded. "I think so. I guess I can understand him being uncertain, but Jack's his son. Surely that means something to him."

"I think it does." I also thought that Dandy was likely fighting tooth and nail against any paternal instinct he might be feeling, but I was sure he felt something.

"I just want to see him do right by Jack."

"I know. Me too."

Doralice sighed again and looked up at me. "We really should get up."

"Do we have to?"

"Before one of the girls start crying or Jack and Bret come back? Probably."

"I guess you're right." I gave her one last kiss before reluctantly rolling away from her and making myself get up. I dressed quickly promising myself we'd do this again, soon.

It's a good thing Doralice made us get up because we'd barely left the bedroom when the girls decided nap time was over for them too. Doralice was in the middle of feeding them when I heard Bret and Jack come back as well. Leaving Doralice with the girls, I went out to met my brother and found Jack looking more at ease than he'd been the last time I'd seen him.

"Have a nice ride?" I asked.

Jack nodded and Bret answered aloud. "We did. Went out and rode around on Ben's place a while." He then gave me a we-need-to-talk look.

I nodded slightly and addressed Jack. "Doralice is with the girls, but I bet if you go back there and ask she'll help you make some cookies when she's done with them."

Jack perked up some more. "Really?"

"Really. Why don't you go ask?"

Jack took off down the hall and I looked at my brother. "What?"

"Let's go outside," he said waving for me to follow him. We went out back and Bret sat down with a huff. "What happened with Dandy today?"

"I'm not sure, but neither one of them looked happy when it was over. Why? Did Jack say something?" Maybe I'd overestimated Dandy's ability to handle this and shouldn't have left them alone after all.

"Yeah; he thinks his daddy don't want him."

I crossed my arms and leaned back against the porch railing. "He's told me that before too."

"Well, do you think he does?" There was a definite note of hostilely in Bret's voice now. "He sure ain't been actin' like it."

There was that question again, and again, I tried my best to answer. "He hasn't said anything like that the past few days. But even if he was having doubts, he wouldn't tell Jack that."

"As much as it pains me to admit it, you're right. He's not that big a cad. But he wouldn't have to say it for Jack to pick up on it."

"I can't argue that, but, strange as it sounds, I think Dandy does want him."

Bret scoffed. "So what are you gonna do?"

"About what?"

"Buckley."

I shrugged. "Nothing yet. He's supposed to have dinner with us tonight. I'm hoping this meeting goes better than the first one did."

Bret pushed to his feet and came and stood beside me. "Do you think this is a good idea, Bart? I mean turning Jack over to Dandy."

I looked at my brother. "It doesn't matter what I think. There's nothin' I can do about it."

"But Dandy, with a kid? What kid deserves that?"

"He's his father, Bret. The deal was I keep him until his father came for him and his father's here. I get what you're sayin' but I can't keep him."

"Are you sure encouraging Dandy to take him is wise?"

I stared down at the porch and thought about that. Truth was, I'd already wondered that myself. I knew Dandy was undecided and I really believed there was part of him that wanted his boy, but what about that other part. Was I right to force this when Jim wasn't one hundred percent sure it was what he wanted? Was that fair to Jack? "I've thought about that," I told my brother. "But what else am I supposed to do? He's not my son to keep."

"Do you think Dandy can do this? Really?"

"He'll take care of him," I said; I was confident of that. If I had any doubts at all about that I wouldn't even consider sending Jack off with his father. If Jim took Jack, it would be for good and Jack would be well looked after.

"Yeah, I know he'll do that," Bret admitted softly. "Like I said, he's not that bad."

I wondered how painful it was for Bret to admit that but I didn't say anything.

"I mean, I know he'll make sure he goes to school and keep clothes on his back and make sure there's food in his belly but . . . do you think he'll love him?"

Bret had finally said what I hadn't been able to put into words myself. Did Jim love his son? At this point in time, I couldn't say, but I still had the feeling that he would if he would just let himself. "I think he can," I replied at length. "Maybe he doesn't love him as a son yet, but I think given enough time he will."

"Is that good enough? For Jack I mean."

"I don't know. I guess it'll have to be. I can't keep Jim from taking him, and I think Jack deserves the chance to know his father. The chance to have a relationship with him."

There was a smirk on Bret's face. "You're a good man Brother Bart. You have a lot more faith in him than I do."

"You think I'm wrong?"

Bret shrugged. "I hope you're not, but it is Dandy."

"You don't know him like I do."

"So you've said for years."

I ignored that comment. "Sure he can be selfish, but really, Bret, I think he wants this."

"Again, I hope your right, for Jack's sake."

"So do I." I hit Bret lightly on the arm. "Wanna stay for supper?"

Bret raised an eyebrow. "With Dandy? No, thank you. I'd like to keep my appetite tonight."

And just like that, my brother was back. "Fine, but at least wish me luck. I not only have the Buckley's to deal with but a wife who still isn't very happy with a certain James Buckley."

"Doralice always was a lady of taste." Bret stuck his hand out. "Good luck, little brother. You're gonna need it. I'll see you tomorrow."

After Bret left I stayed on the porch awhile and thought over everything Bret had just said. He'd raised a good point when he asked if simply taking care of Jack would be enough. Jack did need to know he was loved. Did I need to keep pushing Dandy to man up if he couldn't do that? Could Jim do that?

Feeling like I needed some time to myself as well I decided to take a little walk. I went inside to get my hat and heard Jack and Doralice in the kitchen laughing. Jack had grown on me, and I wanted what was best for him. I hoped I was smart enough to know what the best thing actually was.


	21. Final Verdict (Jim)

**Final Verdict**

I'll give Bart one thing, he was right about the river. It wasn't exactly the Thames, but it was a peaceful spot. It also allowed for some solitude which is what I was seeking. For the better part of an hour, I walked along the bank enjoying the sounds of nature around me; the babbling of the water, the singing of the birds, even the occasional rabbit running across my path. I let my mind wander for most of that time and I tried not to think of anything in particular, but eventually, I found I could not ignore what had driven me out here in the first place. I had to make a decision about the boy.

I found myself a nice shady spot close to the water's edge and sat down. Leaning back against a tree trunk, I pulled the letter from Lenora out from my coat yet again. Lenora Freemont. A smile came to my face as I thought about her. Why did she have to be so remarkable? And why had she made such a difficult request of me?

Taking a deep breath, I pulled the letter from the envelope and unfolded the page. I shook my head as I read the first words. Dearest James she said. I wonder if she really meant that. I also wondered if the letter would have the same impact if she'd started it any other way. I'd read the blasted thing so many times I hardly needed to give another reading, and yet that's just what I found myself doing.

Dearest James,

If you are reading this than the worst has happened and my time has come before Jack has come of age. You will have been told about Jack by now and my request regarding him. Doubtless, finding out about him was a shock and all I can ask is that you forgive me. Only time will tell if I'm asking forgiveness for putting you in this position to begin with or for not telling you about him sooner. I hope one day you'll come to think it's the latter but only you will be able to answer that question.

I'm sure you want to know if I knew about Jack while you were still in Biloxi, and the answer is yes. My greatest fear at that time was that you would discover my secret before you left. I did consider telling you, more than once, but I was afraid you would have a sudden attack of decency and offer to marry me or something equally as foolish, and we both know that wouldn't have worked for either of us. It could very well have turned you against me too, and I had no desire to do that. I decided the best thing to do was simply keep my condition hidden until you moved on and allow us both to keep our memories of one another pleasant.

I never expected anything from you concerning Jack. I didn't tell you about him in the beginning because I didn't want you to feel obligated to provide for either of us or remain in Biloxi against your will. I always knew I could provide for him and give him a good home without the aid of a man. That's exactly what I have done, and would still be doing if I was able. I know having a child wasn't part of your plan, and frankly, it wasn't part of mine either. However, you must know Jack is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He has brought so much joy and happiness into my life and for that reason, I'm making this request of you now. Jack is the single most important person in my life and I cannot bear the thought of him being turned over to the state should something happen to me before he is of age. I want to know that if I cannot raise him to manhood the task will be taken on by someone who will love him just as much as I do. I'm aware that what I'm asking is no small thing, and God forbid this letter ever makes its way into your hands, but I have to ask. James, if I'm denied the privilege of seeing our son become a man, will you take on the responsibility?

I know the role of a father is not one you've ever really desired, nor is it one you've ever imagined yourself in, but he is your son. Please, James, give him a home. I ask that you do it for me if for no other reason. Again, I have to tell you he is the best part of my life. He can be that for you as well if you'll let him.

Now that I've made my plea, I'd like to tell you a little about our son. The first thing that comes to mind is how much he looks like you. Sometimes I feel as though I'm looking at a miniature of you when I see him, especially his eyes. He is smart as well, like you. I often wonder if being with him is not like experiencing what your own mother must have gone through when you were a boy. I know every mother thinks her child is brilliant, but Jack truly is bright for his age. At times he is too smart for his own good; I'm sure we both had a hand in making him that way. I haven't told him everything about us, some things he just isn't old enough for yet, but I have told him about you. I never saw a reason to keep you or your name a secret from him. Occasionally, he does ask questions about you and I try to answer them as honestly as I can. I never wanted him to grow up without any notion of who his father is which is why I gave him your name. I think allowing him to carry it is something you both deserve.

At this point, there isn't much left to say unless it's to reiterate what I've said before. You will have already read the letter from Mister Winters concerning all legal issues on the matter. I hope the arrangements concerning both Jack and the finances are to your satisfaction. Here I will make one final plea. Please, James, if the time comes that you find yourself reading this letter, take your son. Take him into your home and your heart. If you allow him in, you won't regret it.

Wishing you all the best,

Lenora

I finished the letter and folded it back up. Take him into your home and your heart. I don't have a home and I wasn't sure I could let him into my heart. My heart can be a pretty cold place, but this was Lenora. If I could grant anyone a favor, it would be Lenora.

"Oh, my dear," I said as I tucked the letter away again. "I may be a fool, but I it was always difficult to deny you anything."

Wearily I pushed to my feet and started walking back the way I'd come. My last hope was Bart. I could only hope the boy would choose to remain here with the Mavericks. It would be a better place for him and would certainly make my life easier, but if he said no . . . . Lenora's plea came to mind and I finally knew without a doubt that I couldn't deny her. I stayed in Biloxi all those months because telling her no was too hard. I couldn't make any promises about opening up my heart, but if the boy wanted to come with me, I couldn't say no. It was the least I could do for Lenora. And her son.

Dinner was an interesting affair, to say the least. It's been years since I've been a part of a family dinner, and I'm not sure I've ever been surrounded by so many children. Naturally, Bart's children didn't participate much, but they were there and I felt decidedly outnumbered. As for the boy, he appeared more confident than he had earlier; I attributed that to Bart and Doralice being around. Most of his comments were directed to Bart and I couldn't help but feel a little thrill of satisfaction at that. It was hard to deny who he was more at ease with. He was telling Bart of the ride he'd taken today and while I won't often admit Bret Maverick can best me at anything, he does seem to handle children better than me. I'm not terribly surprised by that, nor do I consider it a fantastic accomplishment.

Jack was happily talking to the Mavericks when he suddenly turned his attention to me. He didn't say anything at first just looked my way. "Yes?" I prompted when the silence stretched on for a beat or two.

"Do you think women should be able to vote?"

I saw both Bart and Doralice bite back smiles and had a feeling this question had been asked before. "Vote?"

He nodded. "Yes, like you do."

"I can't vote."

"Why?"

"I'm from England and not a citizen of this country; therefore, I'm unable to vote."

He considered me a moment, something I found slightly unnerving. "But if you could, do you think women should be able to."

Bart must have decided to take pity on me because he finally spoke. "His mother believed in women's votes. Jack feels very strongly about the issue."

I smiled ruefully. "I remember." Lenora had made no secret of her feelings on the matter, and if a man held any notions to the contrary, he would likely change his mind once that woman got hold of him. As I'd told Bart, she was so much fiercer than the young ladies in England. "Your mother had this talk with me once," I told the boy. "She made a compelling case and I have to say when she was done I couldn't fault her reasoning."

"Does that mean you think women should be able to vote?"

"Of course," I replied with a smile. Being at the table with both him and Doralice I wasn't about to say anything else, but with women like Lenora and the current Mrs. Maverick around, I don't doubt it will one day be a reality. He smiled at me and again I got the feeling I was looking at a younger version of myself. Good Lord, I wondered if he was the troublemaker I'd been. For the first time, I realized just how much trouble taking him on could be and it was more than I'd ever imagined. Heaven help me if he didn't choose to remain in Texas.

After the topic of voting, the conversation turned to less controversial things and the rest of the meal passed uneventfully. I was forced to come up with an explanation concerning the "business" I'd been on but felt that by the end of the meal I'd managed to get back in Doralice's good graces. She had no way of knowing I was still hoping they might agree to keep the boy, but like Bart, I just didn't see how they could object if it was what he wanted.

We had a delightful dessert of pecan pie and then Doralice suggested Bart and I take the boy into the parlor while she put the little ones to bed. I was afraid Bart would say I should see to the boy while he helped his wife, but thankfully he agreed and the three of us left the kitchen. "Bart says you know how to play poker," Jack said once we were in the sitting room.

"I do," I replied surprised he was addressing me again.

The boy looked to Bart. "Can we play until bedtime?"

"Do you know how to play poker?" I asked him.

He nodded eagerly. "Mister Beauregard taught me and Bart's been helping too."

"It's alright by me," Bart said. "Dandy?"

"I don't suppose there's a reason we shouldn't." I've never played poker with a child before, but if he'd been educated on the subject by Mavericks he would at least understand the basics of the game.

To my surprise, the game was actually entertaining. It wasn't profitable, and naturally, the boy wasn't a match for Bart and me, but I was pleased to see he indeed had a good grasp of the game. At least we'd have some common ground when it was just to two of us. The thought came to mind before I knew what was happening and I quickly amended it. We'd have some common ground if we were ever alone. Not that it would be an issue if Bart just kept him here.

We played for nearly an hour before Bart told Jack he needed to start getting ready for bed. I expected there to be an argument but was pleasantly surprised when the boy only asked for one more hand, which Bart readily agreed to, and then headed off to his room.

"He's well behaved," I commented lighting a cigar.

"Yes, he is. His mother obviously raised him well."

"I'm not surprised."

"So," Bart said getting a cigar of his own. "What do you think?"

"I think he's unlike any child I've ever met. Although to be fair, I don't know that many children."

"That's not really what I meant."

"I know what you meant."

"And?"

I sighed. "I know nothing about children, Bart. I don't know how to be a father."

"I didn't either until the girls were born. I ain't gonna lie, Jim, It's not easy but . . . ."

"He'll be the best thing that's ever happened to me," I snapped irritability. "I know."

Bart gave me a sideways look. "Sounds like you've already been talking to someone."

"Err, no, not really. I just assumed you'd say something like that. You're obviously quite happy with this life."

"Yes, I am."

I had nothing to say so I studied the end of my cigar. I'd already said too much and at this moment I wasn't willing to admit I'd already given serious thought to accepting the boy. If Bart knew that, I'd never get him to agree to keep him.

Bart finally heaved a sigh. "Look, Jim, I know this is all new to you, but you've done good tonight. Why don't you go tuck him in when he's ready for bed?"

I gave Bart an incredulous look. "Tuck him in?"

"Yeah."

"And just how am I supposed to do that?"

It was now Bart's turn to look at me as if I'd grown an extra head. "What do you mean how are you supposed to do that? You just put him to bed."

"Bart, I've never put a child to bed in my life." Was I going to be expected to tell stories or give him a kiss or something equally preposterous?

"You're a smart man, Dandy, I don't think it'll put too much of a mental strain on you."

"But . . . how?" I'd been thrown so off kilter by the proposition that I didn't even care I sounded like an idiot.

"You go in, make sure he's comfortable, tell him goodnight, turn out the light. How do you put yourself to bed? It's the same thing you're just doing it for someone else."

That made sense. So long as the boy didn't ask that I sing for him or something of that nature the task sounded doable. Perhaps.

I was thinking about the matter when Doralice joined us and before I knew what was happening Bart was sharing his idea with her. I knew the decision had been made for me when Doralice looked my way and smiled. "I think that's an excellent idea."

I somehow managed to return her smile and hoped she couldn't tell how reluctantly I was agreeing to this. Really it wasn't very sporting of Bart to bring his wife into the matter. He knew I'd agree to most anything if it would make her think more kindly of me. Then again, if it would continue to elevate her opinion of me it might be worth it.

"Jack's already in his room," she told me. "You can go on in whenever you want."

"Of course." I did manage to send a glare in Bart's direction as I left the room just to let him know I didn't appreciate his tactics, but all I received for my trouble was that irritating Maverick grin.

I went down the hall to the boy's room and took a steadying breath before knocking on the door. When I received an affirmative answer, I went inside. "Jack?" The boy's back was to me but he whirled around as soon as I spoke. The look on his face clearly told me I wasn't who he'd been expecting. "I came to-to put you to bed," I said wondering if the words sound that ridiculous when everyone says them.

"Okay," the boy said softly as he walked past me and climbed into the bed. Judging from his tone he had less confidence in my ability than I did.

I waited until he was in bed before I motioned to a spot at the foot. "May I sit down?" The boy hesitated before finally nodding his consent. "I'll confess," I told him as I sat down. "I've never done this before."

"What do I call you?"

"What do you call me?" It wasn't an unfair question but I was taken aback by the abruptness of it. It wasn't the first time the boy had changed topics like that and I wondered if it was something he always did or he was just as nervous and unsure of things as I was.

"I have to call you something. Right?"

"Yes, I suppose so." Funny, I hadn't considered the issue until just now and started racking my brain trying to think of something. Certainly, a name more familiar than Mister Buckley was in order, but I didn't think I was ready to hear anything like father, or worse, daddy yet. "Since you'd like me to call you Jack, why don't you call me Jim?"

"Jim," he repeated almost as though he was testing it.

"Is that alright with you?"

"Sure," he answered with a shrug.

It wasn't easy to carry on a conversation when I got nothing but one-word answers, but Bart assured me that would change as the boy became more comfortable with me. The question was, did I want him to become more comfortable with me? "Have you enjoyed your time here with the Mavericks?" I asked before the silence could stretch on for too long.

"I guess so," the boy said as he picked at a loose tread on the quilt.

I took a deep breath and steeled myself for what I was about to do. I would have preferred to ease into the matter, but with Jack answering only the questions I asked and volunteering nothing else I didn't know how to do that. Best to just jump in and hope for the best. "Jack, we need to discuss something."

The boy eyed me warily. "Okay."

"Your mother planned on you coming to live with me. Is that something you think you would like?"

The boy dropped his eyes and shifted uncomfortably. "I don't know."

"Oh." I hadn't expected that. I'd tried to prepare myself for yes or no, but I wasn't sure what to do with that answer. Then wonder of wonders, the boy actually asked me a question.

"For good?"

"Yes." It was difficult to get that single word out. "Yes, it would be permanent."

He got a look like a cornered colt then and drew his knees up to his chest. "Where do you live?"

"Err, well, actually I don't live anywhere."

"You don't?"

"No, not really; I travel. I go to any place that strikes my fancy and stay until I'm ready to leave."

"But . . . what would happen to me?"

I had nothing to say to that. It had been a problem from the beginning. What would I do with a child? Would he travel with me? Lenora didn't talk as though she expected me to have settled down any. Was I expected to put down roots because of this? I didn't think I could do that. "Well . . . I don't know. If that's what you wanted, I'm sure arrangements could be made."

I knew as soon as the words left my mouth it was the wrong thing to say. The boy looked at me and for the second time that day I saw tears fill his eyes. I don't think he was trying to fight them back this time, however, and one soon ran down his cheek. "I told Bart you didn't want me."

Panic filled me. I'd never intended to make the boy cry and I wasn't sure where he'd gotten the idea he wasn't wanted. Certainly, it was something I'd struggled with, but I didn't think I'd made it obvious to him. "What gives you that notion?" I asked quickly hoping to fend off complete hysterics. That was all I needed, to have to call on Bart or Doralice to come help me talk the boy down from a fit.

"You don't have a place for me," he said wiping at his eyes.

"That's not really a fair assessment," I countered. "To be frank I don't have a place for me either."

"Where am I supposed to stay?"

"I always find a place for me to stay. You wouldn't be out on the streets."

"You didn't come to get me. Mister Winters had to bring me here."

"I arranged that. There were pressing matters I had to take care of first. I sent you here so you could be cared for until I got them sorted out."

"No one knew where you were." That was definitely an accusation.

"I was traveling. It's difficult to correspond when one doesn't stay in one place for long." I was handling this rather well I thought. I was providing clear, quick, and logical answers to all his questions.

"Why did you never come to see us before?"

"I explained that; I didn't know your mother wanted me to. I didn't even know about you until Mister Winters told me about you. I am here now."

The boy stared at me with those dark eyes for a long moment and I noticed something in his look had changed. "Then you really do want me to come with you?"

Panic filled me anew as I realized I hadn't been handling this well at all. What I'd done was stroll right into a trap. I couldn't say no without hurting the boy, which I didn't want to do, but saying yes would mean accepting him. For good. My mind was working feverishly to come up with an answer before the boy could call me out again. "I want you to be happy and cared for, Jack." That was true. I would do that for Lenora. Even if I hadn't fathered the boy I'm not so heartless as to simply toss him out. "If you would be happier staying here with the Mavericks . . . ."

"I wanna come with you."

A chill ran down my spine. He wanted to come with me. "You haven't been happy here?" He'd made the pronouncement so quickly I wondered if he meant what he'd said. Not to mention having him here was my last resort, my last hope of getting out of this. I couldn't make a case for leaving him if he didn't want to stay.

He looked to the door and then back at me. "Yes, but . . . why can't I come? You're my daddy."

Thank God I have a good poker face, otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to cover my reaction to those words. My last resort had failed. There was nothing else I could do or say to change my fate. To argue further would hurt the boy, dishonor the memory of the woman I . . . the woman who'd meant something to me, and likely incur the wrath of every Maverick in Little Bend. My fate was sealed. There was nothing left to do but accept it. I gave the boy my most reassuring smile. "If that's what you want, of course, you may come."

The boy's face lit up with a dazzling grin and before I knew what was happening, he jumped up and put his arms around me. For a moment I was too stunned to respond, but slowly my wits returned and I gently pulled him away from me. "I think it's time for you to get some sleep."

Again, a simple okay was the response but I couldn't help but notice the boy seemed more animated than before; the word wasn't as forlorn sounding as it had been all the other times I'd heard it today. He lay back down and I made quick work of pulling the covers over him.

"Goodnight, Jack," I said softly as I turned down the lamp. The boy responded with a smile and a good night of his own.

I stepped back into the hall and the gravity of what I'd just done hit me like a blow. I leaned against the door a moment trying not to panic. What had I done? I tried to tell myself that seeing after the welfare of one small boy couldn't be that hard but that thought did nothing to help my panic. In a long line of questionable choices I've made, this one would likely stand out as the biggest.

You're my daddy. I felt an odd tightening in my chest as I remembered the simple statement and slight smile. I'd seen something in his eyes at that moment, something that said he trusted me. Why he did I couldn't say, but it was sort of nice to know someone did. Taking a deep breath I started back to the parlor to tell the Mavericks of my decision. I also tried to tell myself the tightening I felt in my chest was nothing more than indigestion.


	22. The Start of Something New (Bart)

**The Start of Something New**

I was once again alone. Doralice had gone back to the kitchen to finish cleaning up and I had been given the task of waiting for Jim. Twenty minutes or so later, Jim came back looking pale and more than a little distracted. "Everything all right?" I asked tentatively.

Jim's head jerked around like he hadn't even noticed I was in the room. He stared at me a second before his attention shifted to the kitchen. "Would you mind if we continued this outside?"

"Sure." I pushed to my feet and led the way outside. Once out on the porch, Jim took a deep breath and leaned against one of the supports.

"How did it go?" I asked still trying to get a handle on what had just gone on between Jim and his son.

"I'll be leaving by the end of the week," Jim said.

"Okay," I replied slowly getting the feeling I wasn't going to like what I was going to hear next.

"Jack will be coming with me."

It took a second for his words to actually sink in and even then I wondered if I'd heard him right. Given Jim's look before the last thing I'd expected was for him to tell me he was taking Jack. "What?"

Jim finally straightened and faced me. "I'll be leaving soon and taking the boy with me." The words held more convection this time and most of the color had returned to his face. He looked and sounded a lot more like Dandy now.

"You're taking him?" Again I just had to clarify we were on the same page.

"Yes."

"You sure about this?"

Jim's look became baffled. "It's what you want isn't it?"

"I want to see Jack cared for." True I'd hoped for this outcome but mine and Bret's earlier conversation was still nagging at me and now was the time to settle this. As much as I hadn't wanted to admit it before, if Jim wasn't absolutely sure of taking Jack it would better for him to leave now and forget all of this. As far as Jack was concerned, I thought it would be easier for him to deal with his father leaving now than for him to spend the rest of his childhood with a man who didn't want him.

"And he will be. I assure you the boy will have everything he needs."

"Including love?"

"Well, I have no intention of telling him daily he's nothing more than a burden to me if that's what you mean," Jim snapped obviously irritated.

"I didn't mean that." Dandy can be pretty selfish, but he's not heartless. He wouldn't intentionally hurt Jack in any way. "It's just a big step, and it's permanent. You're willing to do that?"

Jim looked at me incredulously. "Bart, you've chased me hundreds of miles, threatened me in order to bring me back here, and have tossed me in alone with that boy more than once. I've finally told you what you want to hear and you now seem to be doing everything in your power to talk me out of it." He crossed his arms and sort of glared. "Here I was thinking you'd be thrilled to hear you were getting your way."

I blinked and realized Dandy was right. I did seem to be making a pretty good case against myself. For perhaps the first time in all the years I'd known him, Jim was taking full responsibility for something and I was questioning him about it. What was wrong with me?

"Sorry," I offered as I moved to stand beside him. "I didn't mean it to sound that way. This is what I want. I think it's what's best for both of you, and I'm proud of you for doing it. I guess I just want to know you understand this isn't a game. Are you ready to be a father?"

Jim smiled ruefully. "Believe me, Bart, I'm well aware this isn't a game, and no, I'm not sure I'm ready at all, but it's what you want, what Lenora wanted, what he wants. I don't have a choice."

This made me think of a time about a week before the girls were born. It was hot and muggy, Doralice was huge and miserable, and I'd been in a panic as the reality that my whole world was changing hit me. I'd told Pappy that I wasn't sure I was ready and he, in his normal sympathetic and understanding way, told me it was too late to do anything about it and I better get ready. Jim was going through the same thing I realized. No, he wasn't ready and he never would be, but he was willing to do what he had to do. I didn't have the right to stand here and make him second guess himself. Jack was his son, and Jim was willing to take responsibility for him. At this point, it might have more to do with obligation than love, but I was now surer than ever that love would eventually come.

"I felt the same way when the girls were born," I told him. "If it makes you feel any better, none of us really know what we're doing. We just love them and learn as we go."

"And hope they don't turn out to be complete delinquents?"

I almost laughed until I saw Dandy was being serious. "I wouldn't worry about that. Look at us."

Jim scoffed. "Yes, look at us. We have a marvelous record don't we?"

I grimaced. "So we had our wild years. We both turned out alright."

"I just agreed to be responsible for the boy for the next fifteen years and then you compare it to the likes of us? Really, Bart, you're supposed to be encouraging me."

I had to laugh this time, but I meant what I said. We'd both had our moments, Jim more than me, but when it was all said and done, we'd turned into two fairly mature well-adjusted adults. Before I could tell him that, however, Jim spoke again, his tone almost grave.

"She knew me, Bart, very well. Why would she willingly leave her child with me?"

Dandy had dropped his guard now and was asking for real advice. In all the years I've known him, I've only seen him this open a couple of times before. I hoped I could find a way to tell him what he needed to hear before he decided his standard sarcastic nonchalant attitude needed to be put back in place.

"If she really did know you that well, she must have seen something she approved of. Something she thought her son, your son, needed." True it was hard to imagine Dandy as a father, but there were plenty of people who would have said the same of me not long ago. As long as Jim cared, and I knew he did, Jack would be fine. "I'm not going to tell you it's easy, Jim, but I don't think you'll regret it."

"I don't know anything about raising a child."

"I told you, none of us do. Really, you're both gonna be fine." I was struck by how similar this conversation was to the one I'd had with Pappy not long ago and wondered just when I'd turned into my father. There was something both remarkable and frightening about that.

Jim turned to look at me and I could tell he was surprised. "You have a great deal of confidence in me, don't you?"

"About this? Yes, I do."

"I do believe you mean that, old boy."

"I do."

Jim inclined his head slightly in appreciation and I decided this was getting too maudlin for both of us. "Well," I said slapping him on the shoulder. "If you don't need any more of my profound advice, I'm going back in. You want to join us for breakfast tomorrow?"

"Does this breakfast occur at some ungodly hour?"

"Yep. Usually around seven."

Jim heaved a theatrical sigh but nodded. "Of course."

"See you tomorrow then."

I went back inside and found Doralice waiting for me in the sitting room. As soon as she saw me she jumped up and hurried over to me. "Well?"

A grin slowly spread across my face. "Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yep. He said yes."

Doralice squealed and jumped into my arms. "I knew he'd do the right thing in the end. There was no way he could do anything else."

It looked like James had his shine back and honestly, I was kind of glad. It seemed wrong for Doralice to be upset with Jim. Or James I guess.

"He's coming for breakfast tomorrow. I thought he and Jack needed as much time together as they could get before they leave."

"Good idea. The more comfortable Jack is with him, the better. Now, Mister Maverick, if we've solved the world's problems, why don't we go to bed?"

"That's the best idea I've heard all day," I told her. Taking her hand, we went through the house blowing out the lamps until we finally made it to our room. For the first time in nearly three months, I felt like things actually were going to be alright.

XXXXXXX

Four days later, we were at the stage depot waiting for the coach that would take Jim and Jack away from Little Bend. We'd had a dinner the night before to give Jack the chance to say goodbye to everyone and it was just Jack, Jim, Doralice, and I at the depot. Even the babies were left with Maude and Doralice looked like she was enjoying the short break.

Jim had spent most of the last four days around his son and they seemed to be doing well together. All this was still pretty new to both of them, but they were able to hold an almost normal conversation now. They were at least to a point where Jack did more than stare and Jim didn't look like Jack was about to jump on him at any given moment. They still had a ways to go, but I wasn't too worried about how things would be when it was just the two of them.

Doralice was off talking to Jack while Jim and I took care of the luggage. Actually I was taking care of the luggage and Jim was supervising. When I tossed the last of Jack's things up to the driver I looked at Jim and found him watching Doralice and Jack. "She seems quite taken with him," he commented.

"I think she is," I told him. "She's gonna miss him." Truth was I was going to miss him too. Once he opened up, he really was a good kid. "Any idea of where you're going from here?" I'd asked before but so far hadn't gotten a straight answer. I didn't expect one now either.

Jim shrugged. "Further west. This is the first time Jack's ever been out of Mississippi so it's all new to him. I suppose we'll see where we end up."

The driver finished with the baggage and climbed up on his seat. "Ready when you are," he called down.

"I guess that's your cue?" I told Jim.

"So it seems."

I glanced at Dandy out of the side of my eye and found he didn't look in a great rush to leave. I knew he was ready to get out of town. Little Bend doesn't offer enough excitement for him and I think we'd about given him more family life than he could stand over the past week. Leaving meant being alone with Jack though. Jim may have accepted this change, but he wasn't rushing to meet it. "Nervous?" I asked.

"Yes," he replied bluntly.

"It does get easier," I told him throwing an arm around his shoulders and turning towards Jack and Doralice. "Look at it this way, at least he's old enough feed himself and sleep through the night. That's more than mine do at the moment."

"An excellent point." I'd sort of meant it as a joke, but I think Jim took it quite seriously. "Jack," he called. "I believe it's time for us to leave."

Jack nodded and Doralice knelt down wrapping him in another hug. "Bye, Jack. Make sure you come back to see us." When she released Jack she walked over to us and hugged Dandy too. "I mean that, James. You're welcome back anytime, both of you."

"Thank you, dear lady. I shall remember."

It was now my turn for goodbyes and I looked to Jack first. "Bye, Jack," I said squatting down and offering my hand. "You take of yourself and your pappy over there. He can get into trouble sometimes." I could feel Dandy's stare on my back but I got a smile out of Jack.

"I will," he said taking my hand.

"And don't forget to practice your poker. He may run into trouble every now and then but he's a pretty good hand at poker so he can help you."

Jack let go of my hand and hesitated for a beat before he threw his arms around me knocking me off balance. "Bye, Bart."

As soon as I steadied myself I returned the embrace. "Like Doralice said, come back any time."

"Okay," he said softly before pulling away. He then hurried back to Doralice for another hug while I said my goodbye to the elder Buckley.

Standing I again offered my hand. "Don't be a stranger, Dandy."

"I'll do my best, Bart." He looked back at his son. "Jack, are you ready?"

Doralice gave Jack a kiss and sent him back over to us. Jim helped his son into the stage and then climbed in after him. Jack stuck his head out of the window for a final farewell before the driver urged the team forward taking the Buckleys out of Little Bend in a cloud of dust.

"You think they'll be alright?" Doralice asked as the coach disappeared from sight.

I put my arm around her and pulled her close. "I do. They both have some adjustments to make, but they'll get there."

I thought back over the last couple of months and could hardly believe all that had gone on. I felt like a much different man than the one who'd met with Dandy in the saloon all those weeks ago. I felt more settled, more sure of myself and my position as a father and a husband. I'd done some growing since that day, and I wasn't the only one; Dandy had changed too. It hardly seemed possible it had all happened in such a short amount of time.

"What are you thinking?"

I jumped slightly at Doralice's voice. I'd been so caught up in my own thoughts I'd almost forgotten where I was. "Us," I said as we started down the boardwalk and home. "Everything that's happened lately; babies, Jack, Dandy."

"What about them?"

"How things have changed. On one hand, it seems like the girls were born yesterday. On the other, it feels like . . . ."

"They've always been here?"

"You feel it too?"

My wife nodded. "Yes. Or maybe that's not the best way to describe it. More like I don't really remember what life was like before them. Does that make sense?"

"Perfect sense." I leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "Do we have to get home right away?" I loved the girls dearly but I was enjoying this respite with Doralice and didn't want it to end just yet.

"That depends. What do you have in mind?"

"I don't know. Maybe coffee and pie. Just us; no kids of any age."

Doralice leaned her head against me and smiled. "I think we can do that."

Arm in arm, we crossed the street to go to the café and all I could think about was how lucky I was. Sure having a family had brought some interesting challenges into my life, and I was sure there would be more challenges than I could imagine in the future, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. My thoughts drifted back to Dandy and Jack. There would be challenges for them as well as they tried to navigate all the new changes in their lives. That would be particularly true for Jim as he learned how to be a father. It was a daunting task to be sure, but a worthwhile one. I only hope that one day, Jim will look back at all this, all that's happened, all that's changed, and think about how lucky he is too.

The End


End file.
